I like it a lot. Really the only thing I think could be changed is certain little words/word groups that sound a little strange. For instance:

In the first line, it would sound better if you said "I stare and look deeper into the mirror looking back at me"

"I tried but couldn't stop judging every reasoning I had" - You might wanna change it to "every reason I had" so it flows better.

Also, when you said " I tried to fight away everything I hated believing"- I keep wanting to read it like " I tried to fight away everything, I hated believing" Or maybe "I tried to fight it all way, I hated believing the lies" Or something. Maybe it's just me but I think with a comma, it would be a more profound statement and have only a slightly different meaning.

On a happier note, the song is nice and full of lots of imagery and intricacies, so it's like a story, which is great.

I really like the last two lines of the first paragraph. This last part is my favorite, and I'm guessing this might be the chorus?

I tried to fight away everything I hated believing
Wanted to make you proud of the lie I created
Followed all rules but lost my target.
Pretense is growing and everyone's smiling
While I'm dying with a smile for you

I like the song a lot. You're a good writer!