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Old 03-18-2008, 06:15 PM   #27 (permalink)
~river~
I iz st00pid lyke whut?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivercide View Post
It's funny you think this doesn't have much substance/creativity because when I read it I see the exact opposite. Along with that, I think it's one of my most favorites of yours. Especially this verse:

And the way the beginning and ending verses are reminiscent of a mirror effect makes it all the more interesting.
a very big thanks steph, it really means a lot me

i don't know why but by ending them with a twisting on the begining or mirroring the start, it seems to complete it for me. in my mind it ties what im trying to say together pulls it all in.

Grey

lost within this mist
the damp darkness
never fading (never clearing)
the cold is seeping in
into every corner of my being
clinging tightly to my soul

dark dispair
clouding my vision
tomorrow's sun (tomorrow's promise)
to far away
to melt this frost
around my heart

cold unfeeling
made of ice
i will wander lost and dazed
unshed tears that just won't fall
smooth this world of soft grey

the ones before
like crystals fall
reflecting light
in my colourless (in this colourless)
hell
__________________
There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness, truth, beauty and a picture of you.
Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of
Joy are drifting thorough my open mind
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