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Old 03-18-2008, 07:04 PM   #28 (permalink)
Shivercide
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~river~ View Post
i don't know why but by ending them with a twisting on the begining or mirroring the start, it seems to complete it for me. in my mind it ties what im trying to say together pulls it all in.
I know I've done it myself a few times, and I agree that it seems to give that feeling that it's tying off any possible loose ends. That is the main reason I do it sometimes, but when I see it in other's writings, it really jumps out at me. I think it really is an interesting way of writing.

Quote:
Grey

lost within this mist
the damp darkness
never fading (never clearing)
the cold is seeping in
into every corner of my being
clinging tightly to my soul

dark dispair
clouding my vision
tomorrow's sun (tomorrow's promise)
to far away
to melt this frost
around my heart

cold unfeeling
made of ice
i will wander lost and dazed
unshed tears that just won't fall
smooth this world of soft grey

the ones before
like crystals fall
reflecting light
in my colourless (in this colourless)
hell
This one has a sense of rhythm that fits it very well...almost sounding like it's rhyming, but it's really not. Which is just wonderful. I especially love the ending...following the images it gives off, the abruptness of the last word really fits it perfectly I think.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratchy
I'm an innocent tool in the hand of the real evil, go prove otherwise
"Nothing you confess
could make me love you less...
...I'll stand by you."
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