View Single Post
Old 03-21-2008, 09:39 PM   #30 (permalink)
Shivercide
The Fun Police



 
Shivercide's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 3,116
Points: 30,170.95
Bank: 3,721,095.31
Total Points: 3,751,266.25
Donate
Shivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond reputeShivercide has a reputation beyond repute



Quote:
Originally Posted by ~river~ View Post
another new one, the start of it came to me while waiting in the bank of all places and the rest just flowed slowly and easily a few days later

the smallest fragment

This is my secret
do you swear you can keep it?
i'll stitch your mouth shut
as you scream
you are worthy

tie this peices back
together
separate fragements
of a story half told
a tall tale
whispered lies, about who?

close your eyes
and count to ten
will we wish together
for this torment to end?

slip the blindfold over your eyes
you saw the shattered heart of me
the smallest fragment that still beats

ill stitch your mouth shut
this is my secret
scream you can keep it
Yikes, this one gave me chills. *loves that*

Especially the last verse, and I really liked how everything leading up to it before that changed in rhythm. One verse sounds kind of jagged and choppy, and another seems to pick up pace with an easier flow - all of which seem to reflect off what's being stated.

The ending was just precise and very well-written.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratchy
I'm an innocent tool in the hand of the real evil, go prove otherwise
"Nothing you confess
could make me love you less...
...I'll stand by you."
Shivercide is offline   Reply With Quote