So, this bloke's out on the golf course with an old friend from school he hasn't seen in years. The conversation gets around to their occupations and he's astonished to discover his old friends chosen vocation.
"What?" says he...
"I told you - I'm a Hit Man. Y'know, shooting people and shit like that?" and, by way of proof, he pulls out a rifle from his golf bag, complete with telescopic sight and every goddamn thing.
Well, this bloke's amazed. Lost for words, he asks if he might be allowed to look through the sight. His pal agrees and the guy starts scanning the horizon.
"This is incredible... I can see for miles! Such clarity... I can see... My house! Look, my wife has left the bedroom curtains open! Hang on... That's that Bastard from next door!! What the fuck's she doing with hi... OH! That's what she's doing... Bitch..." and he turns to his friend. With an earnest glare, he says "Hit man, eh? How much do you charge??"
"£1,000 per bullet" replies his friend. After a moment, the man says "Fine. I want two bullets. I want you to shoot that cheating bitch of a wife of mine right between her eyes, and with the second bullet I want you to blow that bastard's cock off. Can you do that from here?"
"No problem, chief! I'm the best there is. I never miss" says the Man Hunter, and takes the rifle.
A few seconds pass as the hit man takes his bead... A few more seconds as he steadies himself for his first shot... then he starts gently bobbing the tip of the rifle up and down...
After a while, the man says "What the hell's taking you so long?"
"Shut up, man. I'm trying to save you a Grand here..."
