07-20-2004, 09:20 PM
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#40 (permalink)
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Fledgling Post Monkey
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Neither here, nor there
Age: 23
Posts: 1,695
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Shadow_666
Jessica:
It doesn’t seem so long ago,
That you were mine.
But you can’t tell,
That I still . . .
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I LOVED both of those! Wow.
Ok, comments:
In the first one, I thought it was brilliant how you trailed off right there. It gave a feeling of longing for you to say it, even though we knew what it was. BRILLIANT.
Quote:
Broken Vessel:
A pretty, porcelain container.
A smooth profile,
A silhouette of soft perfection.
Containing:
A bouquet of faded water lilies,
Spilling, lavender reflections;
Condescending patterns,
Mildly, across an empty room.
Projecting only, the soft, still glow, of life.
It looks so beautiful.
But . . .
It’s not so beautiful.
Because,
Every special thing inside could fall;
After all.
Leaving only,
A broken vessel.
And so,
What was once, so ravishing,
Becoming brown,
And withering.
And lovely things, perishing,
Prove that love, and life, and joy,
Are not withstanding.
These things lie exposed,
And dyeing.
Beside their broken vessel.
Trying to find their ground,
And grow.
Trying to hold on,
And not let go.
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And this one was just fantastic. I was going to quote something, but I couldn't pick out anything particular, because the whole thing is just exquisite. You have quite a way with words.  |
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