Thanks for the comment! This is the first one that hasn't been PM'd to me, and it was really helpful. Sometimes you miss a few things when you've read something over and over again. I edited the poem below, and fixed the things you mentioned. I even removed a few commas. I get a little over enthusiastic sometimes with punctuation.
When I wrote this poem, I hadn't even listened to Ev yet, and I just didn't feel like changing the title later. I named it Exodus because, it felt like in the poem I was leaving all the pain behind, and heading off into the unknown. I almost named it, "Departure." Maybe I should change it . . .
Quote:
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Originally Posted by nostalgicdemise
I loved all of the wonderful hidden meanings, but did you mean for this to be one? It struck a double meaning to me, vaguely though, and I wasn't sure if you intended for it to be a play on words (cold hearted, harsh; cold hearted, blood loss).
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Actually, whenever I write I've usually got a lot of those. It doesn't happen on purpose, but it's occurring much more frequently. I very rarely go into detail about exactly what I'm talking about. I like to hint at it, and let people form their own ideas as to what I’m saying, and why I’m saying it. Mostly though, it just turns out that way anyhow.
This one was written after a long relationship went sour. I didn't feel like killing myself, but I felt horrible . . .
The first line where I mention that, I'm talking about her. She was cold hearted. In the second one, I'm talking about being cold because of the loss of blood, as you said.
I think that covers everything . . .
Thanks again for your comment.