Quote:
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Originally Posted by littleleena
This is Only half done Comments for it so far would be good:
Fallen Tears do not erase the pain
it hides away deep inside of me
Waiting to break free, waiting to scream
Lost inside my nightmare
Trapped inside myself
Calling your name to Come and save me
Emotions run freely
Why i don't let them go when i'm awake i do not know?
Trapped behind the Wall I made for myself
These memories will never fade
I smile brightly on the outside
And inside i'm screaming to myself
longing to die, free of pain
Frightning Images
Painful memories trapped inside me
Darkness waiting for the light
Fighting to be free, Defining memories
This Is my life can it really be?
Please honest comments only Thanks ^Jus^
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I really like the content here. The only thing I think it needs is just a little edit to make it easier to read. Maybe you should try this:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by littleleena
Emotions run freely
Why i don't let them go?
When i'm awake i do not know
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And that last line feels a little awkward. I don't really know what to suggest; it's your song. Maybe:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by littleleena
This Is my life
Can it really be?
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I really liked the song though. This was my favorite part:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by littleleena
Frightning Images
Painful memories trapped inside me
Darkness waiting for the light
Fighting to be free, Defining memories
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Hopefully this helps a little . . .