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Originally Posted by Whispered_Lies
Splintered Light
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Just noticed there was another poem in here. So I thought since I started this thread in the first place, I should have the decency to comment.
This part is really cool:
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Light and dark interbred,
I see you clearly now,
I remember all the words you said,
Splintered light, shattered mirror.
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One line that troubled me was:
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Far too long I’ve been gone…
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It just runs on too fast and upsets the flow for me. Maybe you should add a comma, or drop the second part down a line. But that would still upset the last line, so I don't know what to suggest . . .
I'm a comma whore anyways, so maybe it's just me.
For the most part, I like it. Great images.
I think it's pretty good . . .