Ok... this is kind of hard to do. I've never shared my lyrics with anyone before, but I would appreciate any comments or suggestions that any of you have.

I know that these are kind of hoaky and contrived, but I'm still developing my craft. I wrote my first song three months ago, and I've already improved a lot (that one was a mess!).

Alright, here's the first one. It's called "See". Some day, I may add another line at the end, but I need some inspiration first.


See this wasted human being
See these eyes
So full of nothing
See this face bereft of live
Feel this soul
So hollow
Fading
Dying
From the lies you feed

Can't you feel me here beside you?
Am I not real until I've done something wrong?
I'm not crazy
And you know it
I won't give up until I can make you see

See the girl
See the lifeless child dying
See these scars
Hear the voiceless child crying

Will you tell me that you love me?
It's all I need to hear
And all you ever hesitate to say
If you want me gone
Just say it
I'll be broken then
But maybe someday we can both be free

I can't live like this
I'll leave
Or die
Unless I make you see

See my world
See the unforgiving darkness
Feel my heart
Feel the shattered, broken pieces



Well, there's one. I haven't come up with a name for the following, but I was inspired to write it when my friend, who I was starting to fall in love with, ran away.


I live my life
But it's a lie
I laugh and play
When I want to cry
And when the day
Fades to night
I succomb to my weariness
So that I can

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

Why did you leave
Me here to grieve
Not all was lost
Did you forget about me?
I'm left with nothing
You were my all
I'm starting to slip
I'm starting to fall
And I only ever

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

And when you call
Out my name
Don't you know it kills the pain?
So just breathe
Just believe
Just come back to me

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

All I do is try
Not to scream



So, what do guys think? I know they need a little tweaking, but I've gotten to the point where I'm fairly pleased with them. Obviously, they aren't mirror images of my emotions, but various experiences in my life led me to write them. Which is your favorite? Or do the both just plain suck?

Oh, and a big thank you to anyone who welcomed me yesterday!