Nameless, congrats on this thread. Really.

Ok, so my own poem here. I'd rather have you pm your comments, but feel free to post them here. But COMMENT. (I should say criticize.) It's my third poem, so it's REALLY old. Please comment/criticize. Thanks.



Damnation and Redemption

He walks alone throughout the night
Darkness serves as his concealing shroud
As if he were an exiled knight
His darkened soul by his armour bound

His heart, long dead, his spirit damned to hell
Demons clawing at his mind
As if he fell into an endless well
Pure madness turning him blind

His prayers, forsaken, his pleas, ignored
Into a desperate man he has become
Deprived of everything he ever loved
His soul’s torment cannot be overcome

As his essence begins to fade into nothingness
His hands are stained with the blood of old
His souls is lost in a sea of loneliness
Taking the one he loves from his hold

Life and its will escaping his grasp
His sorrow leaves him unable to love at all
His heart unable to change the past
His suffering ends as an angel stops his fall

A new hope lights his path as his mourning vanishes
The curses upon his soul and life rot away
His hollow and darkened soul slowly replenishes
His demons at the angel’s sword have lost the fray

His demons rise again, tormenting his broken heart with dread
Determined not to let him get saved, they tear him down from the skies
A horrible past reflects on the depth, ripping her to shreds
Faster and faster, his sorrows returning as she dies

His story does not have an end
Redemption never comes
His damnation is eternal,
With his hope and faith gone,
There is nothing left to save

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