Okay. I haven't been here enough in a long, long time to actually keep up with this thread...so I'm going to start right from the last person's critique.

Psychofish-- It's interesting, and pretty good, but maybe you can make the beats steadier. It's kind of distracting when you have something flowing one way and then it all of a sudden changes up without a pattern. Also, think about maybe taking longer breaks, possibly by breaking it into stanzas, when you switch between thoughts.
For Example:

Quote:

can you forgive me, for what i've done? you havent screwed up, i'm so sorry. (You can make a break here, because you're changing from what you've done and how you feel about it.) i couldn't keep your promise but you're gonna do better without me, you deserve much better, you shouldnt disagree you know its true (Here, too, because you're convincing her that you're sorry and explaining exactly what you did.) i'm sorry if i hurt you i dont want you to be hurt anymore. (Also here, because you're repeating how sorry you are.) theres no other way, theres nothing else to do, you can see how deep it cuts, you can see how much it hurts, dont look for me, i'll be fine, i wont hurt you anymore, you'll be happier.And then this last stanza is relating to yourself.

See, you keep changing direction and intentions. If you break it up into stanzas, the thoughts are more fluid and separated instead of being a run-on sentence.

Arcane
Of Raven And Dove
The first verse, is good, but you're right, it kind of lacks compared to the rest of it. I absolutely love, LOVE, the chorus you keep repeating. I am in love with it. Maybe, (and this is just a suggestion) you can actually start out with the comparision of raven darkness and dove light. Maybe that could draw you into it and really relate to the rest.
Fallen From Grace
I loved it. The imagery was great. Excellent. The only thing that bothered me in the whole poem was this:
That last line had many more syllables than the rest of the lines in that stanza and most of the poem, too. It kinda disrupted the flow a little when read, although I'm not sure how you'd play it out with music and that can completely change the way it is read.


I-Miss-Roses
I liked it a lot. The description was a powerful tool in yuor poem...but there were two places that kind of bugged me.

Quote:

It was supposed to be simple; two words for scar-tissue and a metaphorical suicide, but I was bleeding again and again,

This line does not make any sense to me, it's almost like it doesn't even belong. I love where it's going with the "metaphorical suicide" you're describing, but you may want to clear that line up.
And then the way you end it just kinda blah's out.

Quote:

I finally understood you. Hands around metal, you crooned.) ‘don’t you feel powerful.’ And you were. so beautiful I cried, but I didn’t feel better.

It was so interesting until the very end.
I think after "and you were," you should take a long pause to let it set in. And then that last line...you should end the poem with a sort of...punchline. You kind of ended it and that was it. Maybe think of a more powerful way to say that you didn't feel better.

Stillborn_Heart
I'm going to comment this one in sections.
UHHHH...So smile on, pretend to care Why is the Uhhhh there?
You patron saint of sin
This isn't just a game to ME
Like it was back then Nice work setting it up.

My heart cannot be captive now
In rose red shackles bound
Instead you tie me up with lace This makes no sense. You just said you were tied with red shackles...and now you changed your mind...try and fix that. Maybe say "Also, you tie me up with lace"?
And place me underground

So no one knows your secret and
So no one knows I'm gone I like the repetition.
I scream and cry, but no one smiles
Or takes me from your lawn Where did a lawn come from?

Now here I lay
For you to come
And let me live
Under the sun
Or here I lay
For you to share
This grave with me
But you're not there. This was nice, although the rhyme kind of takes away from the intentions you have there. You're so worried about rhyming stuff in this whole thing that it starts to make no sense, for example, the "lawn" line.


Okay, so that was my two cents. Sorry for the long post. xP
I'll post a poem sometime later this week.