Stillborn_Heart
I'm going to comment this one in sections.
UHHHH...So smile on, pretend to care Why is the Uhhhh there?
You patron saint of sin
This isn't just a game to ME
Like it was back then Nice work setting it up.

My heart cannot be captive now
In rose red shackles bound
Instead you tie me up with lace This makes no sense. You just said you were tied with red shackles...and now you changed your mind...try and fix that. Maybe say "Also, you tie me up with lace"?
And place me underground

So no one knows your secret and
So no one knows I'm gone I like the repetition.
I scream and cry, but no one smiles
Or takes me from your lawn Where did a lawn come from?

Now here I lay
For you to come
And let me live
Under the sun
Or here I lay
For you to share
This grave with me
But you're not there. This was nice, although the rhyme kind of takes away from the intentions you have there. You're so worried about rhyming stuff in this whole thing that it starts to make no sense, for example, the "lawn" line.

The uhh wasnt supposed to be there...it was an axident...it was saying that I COULD NOT be bound in rosy shackle...INSTEAD i would be wrapped in lace...makes sense to me...and the lawn, which it clearly states, is where she buried me...the end lol