Not Easy

It isn't very easy.
Maybe it's my smile, never agreeing to leave my face.
Maybe it's my outlook, refusing to let go.
Maybe it hurts too much to unbandage the wounds,
just for you to see.
So if I go on smiling, through inside and out,
never despairing (but that's what I'm doing now),
and keep shedding tears for anyone other than myself,
then maybe you won't ever see
that I'm quietly fighting inside of me
just to remain what I am.
It isn't very easy.


Written in November, 2001