Wow... i was really bored, but my baby sounds cute!!

Chloe, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 8 lbs, 1 oz and have black hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

The Daddy is...
The Pope

Oh, girl- that is just so wrong on so many levels, we don't even know where to begin. Thanks for bringing down the Catholic Church single-handedly.