Honest and/or constructive opinions please. Your favorite line could help too. I'm not sure if it's finished or not, I wrote it yesterday but I keep changing things.

I stare and look depper at the mirror looking back
Reflection's forcing me to see through the mask
A sharp look upon the things I'll miss
Visions of what I could have taint me
I've lost my sight and embraced my sins
Broken and longing to break free
Though the fragments tell a different story

I tried but couldn't stop judging every reasoning I had
And my dreams were overshadowed by decieving walls
Walls in me that would remind me how much has faded
Since I found my way to the devil's roads

I tried to fight away everything I hated believing
Wanted to make you proud of the lie I created
Followed all rules but lost my target.
Pretense is growing and everyone's smiling
While I'm dying with a smile for you