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>WerePidgeon< · 08-11-2006, 02:35 AM

It's good!! I think the first line would sound better if you said 'it looking back', but otherwise it was really good.

Hmm... I think "Broken and longing to break free, though the fragments tell a different story" is my favorite line. Or lines. Whatev.

08-11-2006, 02:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
>WerePidgeon< n00blet Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: California Age: 15 Posts: 18 Points: 131.35 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 131.35 Donate	It's good!! I think the first line would sound better if you said 'it looking back', but otherwise it was really good. Hmm... I think "Broken and longing to break free, though the fragments tell a different story" is my favorite line. Or lines. Whatev.