EvBoard - Evanescence Forum - View Single Post - !!!-not For The Faint Of Heart-!!!

Jane · 09-04-2006, 08:24 PM

Unrequited-Amz, I have only a couple of things to say to you. As for the title, I thought you were on a great track with it... although, I'd prefer if it was simply, "Imprint"... but the idea of the title you had, I thought just suited it really well. I see no need to come up with a better title.

What I wanted to say to you was that you have a very clever way of putting words together so that they sound right. You have a sense of what sounds good. Your arrangements were spot on. I don't know how much you focus on that, but it's really your strength. That's where the power of your words lies.

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Mistress Raven, wow... you have a lot of really good descriptions in that chunk of a poem. (I'm assuming it's a poem.) Jeez. Where I see fault with it is that you use too many descriptions. They all suit your purpose well and they do what they're supposed to, the problem is that you give so many and they're all so different from one another, that it's difficult for your poem to have unity.

The key to things like this is to narrow your descriptions/metaphors/ideas, etc. down to a few, select ones that are crucial to get your understanding across - then spend the rest of the poem emphasizing those few ideas. Good writing is not about writing as many great things as you can and shoving a bunch of amazing ideas and amazing words into one piece of work, it's the simplistic art of taking a single idea and expanding it in one piece of work.

The other problem with that is that you run the risk of sounding cliché. It makes it appear like you can't go beneath the surface and really delve into the important issues. Make us see something we haven't seen before, make us think things that we wouldn't normally thing... writing is about taking your thoughts and basic ideas/struggles in life to another level... a different dimension. Open the mind of the reader. That's your real goal.

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Arcane... yes I too have not forgotten about you either. As for critiquing, I have a few suggestions for you. Firstly, I'd encourage you to read what other people have to say when they're critiquing someone else's work. Make sure you understand what that person is saying and that you can find it and identify it in the work in question. Don't hesitate to ask someone to calrify what they meant in a critique for your own understanding. That's a part of the learning process... and everyone here is learning, not just those that submit.

Another thing you can try to do is to just focus on one thing. You don't have to bog yourself down with the task of critiquing an entire poem or anything. Until you get used to it, try to focus on a single verse, or a single idea that you feel you can adequately address. If you're having a problem getting beyond the simple "I like it" "I don't like it" thoughts, then the next time you have that sort of reaction after reading something, I challenge you to ask yourself, "Why did I like/dislike that?" "What made me feel that way?" Chances are you'll be able to come up with some kind of a reason... and that is valid enough.

Don't stress yourself out over trying to make a "good" critique. What makes most critiques valuable is their genuine honesty. You don't need to be an English professor to be able to give someone some good, valid comments on their writing. It can be anybody! I hope this helps you out and makes you feel less insecure when it comes to responding next time.

09-04-2006, 08:24 PM	#115 (permalink)
Jane Cocksucker. Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,814 Points: 111.54 Bank: 102,087.26 Total Points: 102,198.80 Donate	Unrequited-Amz, I have only a couple of things to say to you. As for the title, I thought you were on a great track with it... although, I'd prefer if it was simply, "Imprint"... but the idea of the title you had, I thought just suited it really well. I see no need to come up with a better title. What I wanted to say to you was that you have a very clever way of putting words together so that they sound right. You have a sense of what sounds good. Your arrangements were spot on. I don't know how much you focus on that, but it's really your strength. That's where the power of your words lies. --- Mistress Raven, wow... you have a lot of really good descriptions in that chunk of a poem. (I'm assuming it's a poem.) Jeez. Where I see fault with it is that you use too many descriptions. They all suit your purpose well and they do what they're supposed to, the problem is that you give so many and they're all so different from one another, that it's difficult for your poem to have unity. The key to things like this is to narrow your descriptions/metaphors/ideas, etc. down to a few, select ones that are crucial to get your understanding across - then spend the rest of the poem emphasizing those few ideas. Good writing is not about writing as many great things as you can and shoving a bunch of amazing ideas and amazing words into one piece of work, it's the simplistic art of taking a single idea and expanding it in one piece of work. The other problem with that is that you run the risk of sounding cliché. It makes it appear like you can't go beneath the surface and really delve into the important issues. Make us see something we haven't seen before, make us think things that we wouldn't normally thing... writing is about taking your thoughts and basic ideas/struggles in life to another level... a different dimension. Open the mind of the reader. That's your real goal. --- Arcane... yes I too have not forgotten about you either. As for critiquing, I have a few suggestions for you. Firstly, I'd encourage you to read what other people have to say when they're critiquing someone else's work. Make sure you understand what that person is saying and that you can find it and identify it in the work in question. Don't hesitate to ask someone to calrify what they meant in a critique for your own understanding. That's a part of the learning process... and everyone here is learning, not just those that submit. Another thing you can try to do is to just focus on one thing. You don't have to bog yourself down with the task of critiquing an entire poem or anything. Until you get used to it, try to focus on a single verse, or a single idea that you feel you can adequately address. If you're having a problem getting beyond the simple "I like it" "I don't like it" thoughts, then the next time you have that sort of reaction after reading something, I challenge you to ask yourself, "Why did I like/dislike that?" "What made me feel that way?" Chances are you'll be able to come up with some kind of a reason... and that is valid enough. Don't stress yourself out over trying to make a "good" critique. What makes most critiques valuable is their genuine honesty. You don't need to be an English professor to be able to give someone some good, valid comments on their writing. It can be anybody! I hope this helps you out and makes you feel less insecure when it comes to responding next time. __________________ Last edited by Jane : 09-04-2006 at 08:30 PM.