Thread: Ellen's Poetry
View Single Post
Old 09-07-2006, 10:00 PM   #44 (permalink)
Ellen
Member
 
Ellen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: At the computer =)
Age: 16
Posts: 372
Points: 223.60
Bank: 2,103.84
Total Points: 2,327.44
Donate
Ellen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to beholdEllen is a splendid one to behold
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyleaf_fan
Reaaallly hard to find crit with some of these, but...here I go.

I am- Great imagery, great metaphors, love the way you don't come outright with the message. Awesomeness. Although if I had to say one thing, it might be word choice. However, I don't think there's musch you need to change.

Portals To The Soul- Once again, great desccriptiveness. However, some of the phrases are a little choppy, although besides that, not much. Yoy take ajn old idea and make it yours.

...awesomeness.
Thanks! Yes, I wrote I Am when I was 11 or 12...so the vocabulary definitely isn't as broad. Portals To The Soul was sort of meant to be choppy, like the person was struggling with their point of view. I dunno, thank you sooo much for the comments. Did you read "Hidden" (first post), by any chance? I'm wondering if I could work on anything there.
__________________
"You are who you are and there's no one like you. To try to be someone else is just a lie." -Amy Lee
Ellen is offline   Reply With Quote