Ok... this is kind of hard to do. I've never shared my lyrics with anyone before, but I would appreciate any comments or suggestions that any of you have.

I know that these are kind of hoaky and contrived, but I'm still developing my craft. I wrote my first song three months ago, and I've already improved a lot (that one was a mess!).

Alright, here's the first one. It's called "See". Some day, I may add another line at the end, but I need some inspiration first.


See this wasted human being
See these eyes
So full of nothing
See this face bereft of live
Feel this soul
So hollow
Fading
Dying
From the lies you feed

Can't you feel me here beside you?
Am I not real until I've done something wrong?
I'm not crazy
And you know it
I won't give up until I can make you see

See the girl
See the lifeless child dying
See these scars
Hear the voiceless child crying

Will you tell me that you love me?
It's all I need to hear
And all you ever hesitate to say
If you want me gone
Just say it
I'll be broken then
But maybe someday we can both be free

I can't live like this
I'll leave
Or die
Unless I make you see

See my world
See the unforgiving darkness
Feel my heart
Feel the shattered, broken pieces



Well, there's one. I haven't come up with a name for the following, but I was inspired to write it when my friend, who I was starting to fall in love with, ran away.


I live my life
But it's a lie
I laugh and play
When I want to cry
And when the day
Fades to night
I succomb to my weariness
So that I can

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

Why did you leave
Me here to grieve
Not all was lost
Did you forget about me?
I'm left with nothing
You were my all
I'm starting to slip
I'm starting to fall
And I only ever

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

And when you call
Out my name
Don't you know it kills the pain?
So just breathe
Just believe
Just come back to me

Sleep just to dream
Making it seem
Like you're right
Here with me
(Wake up)
Try not to scream

All I do is try
Not to scream



So, what do guys think? I know they need a little tweaking, but I've gotten to the point where I'm fairly pleased with them. Obviously, they aren't mirror images of my emotions, but various experiences in my life led me to write them. Which is your favorite? Or do the both just plain suck?

Oh, and a big thank you to anyone who welcomed me yesterday!

cool. id love to see more youre doing well

My favorite part. I am glad you shared them with us, Please post more

well done

__________________
.
April 24th 2007...

Thanks, both of you!

I'm currently working on an impowerment piece called Enmity. It's about finally showing someone exactly how wrong they've been.

Thanks for your kind words, guys. And, if they're lacking in any way, I'm open to any constructive critisism.

don't change any of it...they are both awesome.

Hey, guys. This is a new work I've done. It's just a little short story about the pain of missing someone.



I walked outside into the chill, blue twilight, my footsteps as quiet and resolved as I was. It was going to end. I would surrender to my cowardice at long last tonight. I visited the animals one last time and, with a shaking hand, fed them the last meal they would ever receive from me. Whether I was trembling from fear or cold, I could not tell.

I looked up into the cold, distant, cloudy sky, and I knew that God was watching me. I felt ashamed. I knew that I was being weak. Silently, I offered my apologies, and asked him to forgive me and take me back into His arms tonight. I needed to go to a place where it wouldn't hurt so much to be without you.

My long hair floated gently on the soft, lulling breeze. Long ago, I had wanted to cut a lock of it and give it to you, so that a real, physical part of me could always be with you. Too late now, I told myself. You were gone.

I trod gently up the steps of my home, pausing a moment to take my last look at the world. All was utterly bleak.

I entered my room and softly shut the door. I produced the needle from its safe little hiding place in the forgotten shadow of some beautiful, cherished trinket. I held it up to the light. It seemed almost lovely, the way it gleamed, but it seemed also to mock me, taunting me in my fear and weakness and beckoning me to let it pierce my pale, transparent flesh.

I looked at it carefully, and realized that it would be my absolute end. The rapidly shrinking chance of our reunion would be completely destroyed if used this thing. I broke, twisted and mutilated the device, and cast it away.

I stepped back into the world, cold, ashamed and exposed, but still alive. Still breathing, still hopeful, and still waiting for you, my eternal love.

jesus....what a powerful story...and beautifully melancholic....the shame really grabs me too....the shame that is asscoiated with wanting to end your life....and the shame at feeling like you couldn't go through with it...great piece.

Here's a new song I wrote in about 20 minutes last night. It's a work in progress. I'm thinking of calling it "By My Side". Sorry if it sounds too cliched or too familiar.


Don't cry aloud
Just whisper
Don't run away
Just come here
Don't live in fear
Don't coware
Don't rush from me
Just linger

By my side
Here with me
You don't have to run and hide
Stay right here
Darling dear
I won't let them come for you

There's nothing I won't do
I'm so in love with you
You're in my heart
You're in my soul
You're in my mind
You make me whole

When you're not
Standing here
I can still feel you
So near
Hear your voice
In my ear
How I want to ease your fears

By my side
Here with me
You don't have to run and hide
Stay right here
Darling dear
I won't let them come for you

I can hear you
Sigh and moan
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to cry in pain
You know my love isn't feigned

By my side
Here with me
You don't have to run and hide
Stay right here
Darling dear
I won't let them come for you


I hope you guys like it.

And thanks to sweetwater for being so cool.

great song...can't pick a fave line, it's all pretty.

Ok, as promised, here's Enmity, along with my latest work, Not Alone. Hope you guys like 'em!


Enmity

Dragging you down to feel my pain
I know you'll never be the same
I know I'll make you feel like me
I can transform your enmity

I'll show you something you won't like
I know you'll cry out from the fright
They'll see how cowardly you are
You know you deserve it
You've gone too far

I know I'm right
And you are wrong
I know you've known it all along
I know you're weak
And I am strong
And now your delusions have sung their last song

Not this time
Not again
I know you'll be to be my friend
I know you'll beg me to be kind
I know we'll be alike in mind

I know I'm right
And you are wrong
I know you've known it all along
I know you're weak
And I am strong
And now your delusions have sung their last song

There now, hush
Don't be afraid
I don't have to hurt you
To make you pay
You've let yourself have it
And realized your sin
And now it's time for your life to begin

I know I'm right
And you are wrong
I know you've known it all along
I know you're weak
And I am strong
And now your delusions have sung their last song


Not Alone

I'd rather be lost with you
Than safe at home and lonesome
I need you here to be with me
I can't live on my own
I've spent my whole life praying
That someone like you would love me
But I'm cold
Distant
And destitute
As the bleak night sky above me
And I cry out from the pain
My life tortures me again
But I feel you somewhere near
And I know I'm not alone

Not alone
Not alone
I can feel you here with me
Don't let go
Please just know
When you're gone
It kills my soul

I drift away
Into darkness
And I concentrate on you
While the others stay there screaming
I find comfort in my dreaming
Where I tell myself you're with me
And I'm not alone

Not alone
Not alone
I can feel you here with me
Don't let go
Please just know
When you're gone
It kills my soul

If I can't run away with you
I'll run away with my imagination

But if you want to come, please do
I'll be waiting here for you
Come and save me from myself
I need you
And no one else

Not alone
Not alone
I can feel you here with me
Don't let go
Please just know
When you're gone
It kills my soul