Bearing LaDiablo's soul... - Page 2 - EvBoard

LaDiablo · 12-13-2004, 01:13 AM

Thankies! I'm glad it made you think, it's essentially what I want when I write

. Yes, true that it was a bit black and white, I tend to do that a lot

. I'm working to fix that habit. Anyways, to post a bit that I wrote for a contest...

A Soul’s Reprieve

Insomnia strikes
Again
Another sleepless night
Left out to ponder the world
From the eyes of the abused
Unrelenting memories
Toss in my mind
Stirring the demons
A rally of darkness
Protesting this state of corruption

Swiftly flows the silence
In a room of confessed ignorance
No silence is great enough
To quiet the inner beasts
No silence can comfort
The deadened child

A moonless sky
A spoof of clouds
Crisp breezes of numbness
Eternity lies in every moment
A droning of life
Drowned out by the peace of the night sky
Every soul pauses to watch the stars
Every thought belittled...

The horrors in a soul never cease
Only pause to watch in wonder
As this power entwined in them, too,
Becomes a dominent majesty

~*~*~*~

I know the last line could be stronger, anyone have any ideas of alterations to the wording?

sweetwater · 12-13-2004, 06:32 PM

great poem LaDiablo...thought about what to do with your last line...so here it goes: `takes on a life of its own' or maybe `becomes greater than themselves'. (?)

LaDiablo · 12-20-2004, 09:17 PM

Oooh, takes on a life of it's own, I like that one

. Alright, so the new ending:

The horrors in a soul never cease
Only pause to watch in wonder
As this power entwined in them, too,
Takes on a life of it's own

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the help!

sweetwater · 12-21-2004, 12:55 AM

glad you liked it...anytime.

LaDiablo · 07-14-2006, 05:16 PM

I can't believe I still have a thread XD.
This one is experimental. I'm not sure if I like it yet. I've changed as a poet a lot since I used to post here. I'll have to scrounge up my better stuff from the past year and post it =].

Demanding Sanctuary

Demanding sanctuary, I clung to the door
Smooth, understanding, caressed by years of servitude
Yet nothing more than an obstacle
A barricade to keep me from salvation
Simply another chance for society to point “fuck you” in my direction
I was hollow, crazed with fatigue
Abandoned, corroded to the point of torpor, by an obtuse God and an oblique society.
It didn’t matter, it didn’t—
Fire isn’t a toy
It’s a pyromaniacal solution to such underhand affairs
The karmic retribution to standing in my way
Let the ashes state a purpose
((My objectives demand immortality))

Kicking aside the scorched latch and handle,
Thin crescent of power lashed across my face,
I entered your castle, your asylum, your home.
Cluttered with still-standing oxygen, derelict of love
When, when was the last time you strode these floorboards?
Packed your bags and skipped town in a quick flurry of drama
But these walls, they beg your presence
Possessions long for attention
Cutlery clamoring for a soft hand, pillows pleading for sweet dreams
You’re a heathen to your homestead
They were starving for affection… and the flames were starving for them
((A match made in heaven))

Passion is a virtue
I’m convinced
This passion is a virtue, love
((It spells a simple, 8-letter, three-word phrase))

Comments make me a happy panda, k? =]

LaDiablo · 07-20-2006, 08:18 PM

A Different Sort of Rape

Bright eyes smothered with tears, she spoke
"How do I always find a way to screw things up?"
Broken again, she condemned herself as worthless
Less than trashy, she was sheer filth
"Why can't I be perfect for him?"
Golden-aura hair twisted and torn,
Bitter despise for a beauty not quite up to par.
Fingertips ragged from tracing edges of a fade-away mirror,
Searching for the edge that just might break her free.
A release from the mournful eyes staring back at her,
Star-swept periwinkle crumpled into a desperate spray of cerulean.
"I love him so much…"
Sliced-and-diced thighs, tokens of dismay
Obstacle course, dear boy, be gentle with your diurnal rape tonight
No need to take heed,
Forget she does this all for you,
She's just another dolly for an afternoon of pleasure.

LaDiablo · 07-30-2006, 01:10 AM

I'm a photoshop n00b, but I messed around with photo editing anyway XD. Let me know what you think, what would make it look better, what I could add, simple tutorial information, how to use gradients and brushes and how to blend, y'know.... Anything :P.

Original:

Edited:

Thanks =].

Black_snow · 07-30-2006, 10:21 AM

Wow!

Your poems are amazing!

I love them!

LaDiablo · 07-31-2006, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black_snow

Wow!

Your poems are amazing!

I love them!

Thank you ^__^.
I love you for commenting <33333

12-13-2004, 01:13 AM	#11 (permalink)
LaDiablo Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: zenhex.com Age: 19 Posts: 364 Points: 178.07 Bank: 636.32 Total Points: 814.39 Donate	Thankies! I'm glad it made you think, it's essentially what I want when I write . Yes, true that it was a bit black and white, I tend to do that a lot . I'm working to fix that habit. Anyways, to post a bit that I wrote for a contest... A Soul’s Reprieve Insomnia strikes Again Another sleepless night Left out to ponder the world From the eyes of the abused Unrelenting memories Toss in my mind Stirring the demons A rally of darkness Protesting this state of corruption Swiftly flows the silence In a room of confessed ignorance No silence is great enough To quiet the inner beasts No silence can comfort The deadened child A moonless sky A spoof of clouds Crisp breezes of numbness Eternity lies in every moment A droning of life Drowned out by the peace of the night sky Every soul pauses to watch the stars Every thought belittled... The horrors in a soul never cease Only pause to watch in wonder As this power entwined in them, too, Becomes a dominent majesty ~~~*~ I know the last line could be stronger, anyone have any ideas of alterations to the wording? __________________

12-20-2004, 09:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
LaDiablo Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: zenhex.com Age: 19 Posts: 364 Points: 178.07 Bank: 636.32 Total Points: 814.39 Donate	Oooh, takes on a life of it's own, I like that one . Alright, so the new ending: The horrors in a soul never cease Only pause to watch in wonder As this power entwined in them, too, Takes on a life of it's own Thank you, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the help! __________________

07-14-2006, 05:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
LaDiablo Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: zenhex.com Age: 19 Posts: 364 Points: 178.07 Bank: 636.32 Total Points: 814.39 Donate	I can't believe I still have a thread XD. This one is experimental. I'm not sure if I like it yet. I've changed as a poet a lot since I used to post here. I'll have to scrounge up my better stuff from the past year and post it =]. Demanding Sanctuary Demanding sanctuary, I clung to the door Smooth, understanding, caressed by years of servitude Yet nothing more than an obstacle A barricade to keep me from salvation Simply another chance for society to point “fuck you” in my direction I was hollow, crazed with fatigue Abandoned, corroded to the point of torpor, by an obtuse God and an oblique society. It didn’t matter, it didn’t— Fire isn’t a toy It’s a pyromaniacal solution to such underhand affairs The karmic retribution to standing in my way Let the ashes state a purpose ((My objectives demand immortality)) Kicking aside the scorched latch and handle, Thin crescent of power lashed across my face, I entered your castle, your asylum, your home. Cluttered with still-standing oxygen, derelict of love When, when was the last time you strode these floorboards? Packed your bags and skipped town in a quick flurry of drama But these walls, they beg your presence Possessions long for attention Cutlery clamoring for a soft hand, pillows pleading for sweet dreams You’re a heathen to your homestead They were starving for affection… and the flames were starving for them ((A match made in heaven)) Passion is a virtue I’m convinced This passion is a virtue, love ((It spells a simple, 8-letter, three-word phrase)) Comments make me a happy panda, k? =] __________________

07-20-2006, 08:18 PM	#16 (permalink)
LaDiablo Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: zenhex.com Age: 19 Posts: 364 Points: 178.07 Bank: 636.32 Total Points: 814.39 Donate	A Different Sort of Rape Bright eyes smothered with tears, she spoke "How do I always find a way to screw things up?" Broken again, she condemned herself as worthless Less than trashy, she was sheer filth "Why can't I be perfect for him?" Golden-aura hair twisted and torn, Bitter despise for a beauty not quite up to par. Fingertips ragged from tracing edges of a fade-away mirror, Searching for the edge that just might break her free. A release from the mournful eyes staring back at her, Star-swept periwinkle crumpled into a desperate spray of cerulean. "I love him so much…" Sliced-and-diced thighs, tokens of dismay Obstacle course, dear boy, be gentle with your diurnal rape tonight No need to take heed, Forget she does this all for you, She's just another dolly for an afternoon of pleasure. __________________

07-30-2006, 01:10 AM	#17 (permalink)
LaDiablo Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: zenhex.com Age: 19 Posts: 364 Points: 178.07 Bank: 636.32 Total Points: 814.39 Donate	I'm a photoshop n00b, but I messed around with photo editing anyway XD. Let me know what you think, what would make it look better, what I could add, simple tutorial information, how to use gradients and brushes and how to blend, y'know.... Anything :P. Original: Edited: Thanks =]. __________________

12-13-2004, 06:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
sweetwater Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 862 Points: 142.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 142.00 Donate	great poem LaDiablo...thought about what to do with your last line...so here it goes: `takes on a life of its own' or maybe `becomes greater than themselves'. (?)

12-21-2004, 12:55 AM	#14 (permalink)
sweetwater Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 862 Points: 142.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 142.00 Donate	glad you liked it...anytime.

07-30-2006, 10:21 AM	#18 (permalink)
Black_snow Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Latvia Posts: 149 Points: 509.01 Bank: 801.88 Total Points: 1,310.89 Donate	Wow! Your poems are amazing! I love them!

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