Beginning (I'm not a poet) - EvBoard

rosan · 01-26-2006, 03:17 PM

Well I must say english is not my mother language so excuse me for my mistakes (I accept critics and suggestions).

This is my first poem:

Stars

Out there in the sky, maybe millions stars light,
but I can’t see any, because for me it’s too dark

All this time I’ve been trying to avoid falling apart
because my world is too empty since my eyes don’t see your light
Why did you left me behind?, with all this pain around
maybe you didn’t know, Oh! How much I loved.
maybe it was all my mistake but I’m trying to forget;
getting only to pretend all this pain has gone away

Although you’ll never understand,
this love is pouring through my veins
and the stars that I can’t see
are coming here to rest with me.

Jade19 · 01-26-2006, 03:32 PM

wow! i really like this...and awesome job for english not being your "mother language"....i don't have any suggestions really....my fav line is
Although you’ll never understand,
this love is pouring through my veins
and the stars that I can’t see
are coming here to rest with me.

Great job! keep it up!

rosan · 02-13-2006, 02:05 PM

thank you jade19, Thanks for your support I love you liked my first poem, I followed your advice and here is.....

This one is dedicated to my uncle, this poem means so much to me and

Departure

Words and images run through my head
As my tears run in my face
I still remember you…
You were so special to me
Always with a word that was for me
You, my twin soul!

Why they took you away from me?
Leaving me in this trek of tears
Since the day you’re gone
There’s no peace within my soul
‘Cause you appear in all my thoughts
Like your life still would shine
But I wake and all is lie
It’s a lie the fact you’re gone!
It’s a lie you bleed that day
(In the hands of a stranger
Who tore us apart
Taking in his damned hands
All my hope and all my faith…)
No one else can understand
How deep and terrible is this pain…

That day the world got dark
There was no space for a ray of light
And though many years have passed by
I spend some nights crying your name
Claiming for an answer
Asking for a reason
But no one seems to hear me
Screaming in my own hell
I’m surviving everyday
with the hope to see you again.

Matise · 02-13-2006, 03:01 PM

hey rosan! dont worry!! english is not my lenguage too

you poems are great! you have talent, que bueno que lo sepas aprobechar,me encantaron!!!

congratulations!
Departure is kind of kool! awesome job

Im_Broken · 02-14-2006, 08:43 AM

Hey, I read thru all your poems and I must say they are great. I like your style of writing, and the way you put everything together. Keep up the great work. I would love to see more of your stuff soon.

rosan · 02-20-2006, 04:22 PM

hey guys, thank you so much!! for your comments, although lately I didn't have much free time, I write to scape from this chaos to my personal world XD

, here is my last creation, hope you like it..

Wind at night (16/02/06)

The wind is hitting me tonight
With its cold and invisible hands
Making me feel (again) alive.
Now I’m beginning to wake from real life
Wind is right now my one and best friend
Because tonight I’ll find you out there
But nobody knows we’re meting in the sky
That seems itself is losing its dark

The bright of your eyes is lightening the obscurity
Bringing to life my sleeping, numb soul
Making me feel the warmness and security
That only can bring the strength of your love

Your love is now mine and yours is my faith
Let’s dream together now; take the world in your hands
As wind as my witness I promise you now
No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side
So promise me never escape from this time
When two lonely hearts are becoming in one.

Im_Broken · 02-22-2006, 12:11 PM

That poem sounds really nice. You did a great job with it. Excellent writing and I like the way you worded everything. Keep up the awesome work.

rosan · 03-11-2006, 02:08 PM

Hey guys how are you doing?, I've been so busy lately and I don't have so much free time to get online, so I wrote this one in a very hard day for me and I wanted to share it with all of you... See ya around hope you like it and want to see your comments, (the title don't convince me at all), thank you!

Sleeping illusion (03/03/06)

So gloomy, so dreary
The sun and Light hidden by the clouds
Of this walls surrounding me

Try to hide, don’t achieve
Try to cry, don’t believe
Screaming to death
Is the only way to escape
From this moment too long
Seems it will never end

Look at yourself
What do you see?
Pieces around, trying to fix
Traces of joy so far away
Days that they’ve gone
(Far far away)

So it comes to your head
What is the time?
Only the measure
But, What is behind?
Life that don’t live
Eyes that don’t see
Souls that are lost
Praying for love
You hear its voice
Whispering slow
I am your mirror
Look into me
Find in my tunnels
What you’re looking into deep.

Im_Broken · 03-11-2006, 09:42 PM

I really liked that poem. Great wording, and style of it. Great job with it. I hope everything is better for you now.

rosan · 03-16-2006, 02:06 PM

Rach.- Thank you for visiting my thread, I have some stuff but next week I'll put it here..

hey guys this little bit of words I wrote it long ago but I haven't posted it, It's not a poem at all, is the way I feel when I write and I wanted you to know

..

Words are the cure of my soul
Writing has become to me in a relief
I’ve found out a way to tell how I feel
Sometimes I feel alone and sad
Sometimes I feel full of joy
But who are we? To decide what we feel
Sparks has come to light my dark
As the raindrops starts to wet the road all in time
I feel the energy flowing through my pencil,
And sometimes I don’t know what to say
But I write and I feel better
Writing indeed worth if even one person share your words with you

01-26-2006, 03:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 23 Posts: 151 Points: 3,972.98 Bank: 17,004.84 Total Points: 20,977.82 Donate	Beginning (I'm not a poet) Well I must say english is not my mother language so excuse me for my mistakes (I accept critics and suggestions). This is my first poem: Stars Out there in the sky, maybe millions stars light, but I can’t see any, because for me it’s too dark All this time I’ve been trying to avoid falling apart because my world is too empty since my eyes don’t see your light Why did you left me behind?, with all this pain around maybe you didn’t know, Oh! How much I loved. maybe it was all my mistake but I’m trying to forget; getting only to pretend all this pain has gone away Although you’ll never understand, this love is pouring through my veins and the stars that I can’t see are coming here to rest with me.

02-13-2006, 02:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 23 Posts: 151 Points: 3,972.98 Bank: 17,004.84 Total Points: 20,977.82 Donate	The second (when you lose a loved one...) thank you jade19, Thanks for your support I love you liked my first poem, I followed your advice and here is..... This one is dedicated to my uncle, this poem means so much to me and Departure Words and images run through my head As my tears run in my face I still remember you… You were so special to me Always with a word that was for me You, my twin soul! Why they took you away from me? Leaving me in this trek of tears Since the day you’re gone There’s no peace within my soul ‘Cause you appear in all my thoughts Like your life still would shine But I wake and all is lie It’s a lie the fact you’re gone! It’s a lie you bleed that day (In the hands of a stranger Who tore us apart Taking in his damned hands All my hope and all my faith…) No one else can understand How deep and terrible is this pain… That day the world got dark There was no space for a ray of light And though many years have passed by I spend some nights crying your name Claiming for an answer Asking for a reason But no one seems to hear me Screaming in my own hell I’m surviving everyday with the hope to see you again. Last edited by rosan : 02-13-2006 at 02:07 PM.

02-13-2006, 03:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
Matise Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: under the blue sky Age: 17 Posts: 1,219 Points: 924.06 Bank: 5,906.76 Total Points: 6,830.82 Donate	hey rosan! dont worry!! english is not my lenguage too you poems are great! you have talent, que bueno que lo sepas aprobechar,me encantaron!!! congratulations! Departure is kind of kool! awesome job __________________ ThE LaSt FaLlEn AnGeLs EvAnEsCeNcE FaN cLuB

02-14-2006, 08:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	Hey, I read thru all your poems and I must say they are great. I like your style of writing, and the way you put everything together. Keep up the great work. I would love to see more of your stuff soon. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

02-20-2006, 04:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 23 Posts: 151 Points: 3,972.98 Bank: 17,004.84 Total Points: 20,977.82 Donate	Third hey guys, thank you so much!! for your comments, although lately I didn't have much free time, I write to scape from this chaos to my personal world XD , here is my last creation, hope you like it.. Wind at night (16/02/06) The wind is hitting me tonight With its cold and invisible hands Making me feel (again) alive. Now I’m beginning to wake from real life Wind is right now my one and best friend Because tonight I’ll find you out there But nobody knows we’re meting in the sky That seems itself is losing its dark The bright of your eyes is lightening the obscurity Bringing to life my sleeping, numb soul Making me feel the warmness and security That only can bring the strength of your love Your love is now mine and yours is my faith Let’s dream together now; take the world in your hands As wind as my witness I promise you now No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side So promise me never escape from this time When two lonely hearts are becoming in one. __________________ 'my drops of ink' (poetry thread)(abandoned for a long time) Wanna see amazing poetry? click here! WR Bodoquia's kingdom

01-26-2006, 03:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jade19 Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: De Pere, WI Age: 24 Posts: 141 Points: 8,713.70 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 8,713.70 Donate	wow! i really like this...and awesome job for english not being your "mother language"....i don't have any suggestions really....my fav line is Although you’ll never understand, this love is pouring through my veins and the stars that I can’t see are coming here to rest with me. Great job! keep it up!

02-22-2006, 12:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	That poem sounds really nice. You did a great job with it. Excellent writing and I like the way you worded everything. Keep up the awesome work. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

03-11-2006, 02:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 23 Posts: 151 Points: 3,972.98 Bank: 17,004.84 Total Points: 20,977.82 Donate	Hey guys how are you doing?, I've been so busy lately and I don't have so much free time to get online, so I wrote this one in a very hard day for me and I wanted to share it with all of you... See ya around hope you like it and want to see your comments, (the title don't convince me at all), thank you! Sleeping illusion (03/03/06) So gloomy, so dreary The sun and Light hidden by the clouds Of this walls surrounding me Try to hide, don’t achieve Try to cry, don’t believe Screaming to death Is the only way to escape From this moment too long Seems it will never end Look at yourself What do you see? Pieces around, trying to fix Traces of joy so far away Days that they’ve gone (Far far away) So it comes to your head What is the time? Only the measure But, What is behind? Life that don’t live Eyes that don’t see Souls that are lost Praying for love You hear its voice Whispering slow I am your mirror Look into me Find in my tunnels What you’re looking into deep. __________________ 'my drops of ink' (poetry thread)(abandoned for a long time) Wanna see amazing poetry? click here! WR Bodoquia's kingdom Last edited by rosan : 03-11-2006 at 05:14 PM.

03-11-2006, 09:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	I really liked that poem. Great wording, and style of it. Great job with it. I hope everything is better for you now. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

03-16-2006, 02:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 23 Posts: 151 Points: 3,972.98 Bank: 17,004.84 Total Points: 20,977.82 Donate	The way I feel Rach.- Thank you for visiting my thread, I have some stuff but next week I'll put it here.. hey guys this little bit of words I wrote it long ago but I haven't posted it, It's not a poem at all, is the way I feel when I write and I wanted you to know .. Words are the cure of my soul Writing has become to me in a relief I’ve found out a way to tell how I feel Sometimes I feel alone and sad Sometimes I feel full of joy But who are we? To decide what we feel Sparks has come to light my dark As the raindrops starts to wet the road all in time I feel the energy flowing through my pencil, And sometimes I don’t know what to say But I write and I feel better Writing indeed worth if even one person share your words with you __________________ 'my drops of ink' (poetry thread)(abandoned for a long time) Wanna see amazing poetry? click here! WR Bodoquia's kingdom

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