Back to Square One

Hello, my name is Dante Alighieri Stone DuVall, and I'm sixteen years old.
I love cats, lighters, Gatorade, bearded guys, and Kaya Scodelario (amongst many other things).
I hate bullies, misogynists, gnats, bad grammar, and dogs that bark really loudly.
I take 300 mg of Wellbutrin every morning, and soon, I will also be taking 25 mg of Seroquel every night.
The first person I came out to was a girl who wanted to have sex with me.
I currently have two journals, a personal blog, and a diary app on my phone. I lie a little on all of them.
The music I listen to tends to sound either really depressing, really angry, really sinister, or really relaxing.

It's only going to make it worse.

He has had the same problems as me, he has a lot in common with me, he is nicer to me than just about everyone around me. Since we've had the same struggles, we can sympathize with each other. The problem is that he's too nice. I'm going to get attached, I just know it, I probably already am. I know that he cares now, and that's not a good thing. If he cares, then I'm going to care. I don't want to open up to anyone anymore, it's going to end up fucking me over.

But, it's too late. I'm attached now, and it's only going to lead to me getting fucked over. Why bother? Why bother caring about people? It will always lead to getting hurt, no exceptions.

That is fucking it.

Don't read this unless you actually give a shit about how I feel. Otherwise, just go the hell away.

Is the forum dead or is it just me?

I don't know, I just feel like this forum isn't alive. The members are too slow to respond :(

SOMEBODY POST SOMETHING

It's too dead at 12:23am, lol

You Should See My Scars

I wish I could be as good as people want me to be. They expect so fucking much from me and because of that, last year I had 3 breakdowns at different times (Obviously).

1. Test pressures. Teachers expected me to do as perfect as I was halfway through last year. I didn't. They got 'dissapointed'. I told them to take the test and do better. Then I ripped up the results sheet and slammed a door, catching someones finger.

2. Science meltdown. During science I had an uncontrollable burst of anger, hate, sadness, depression and hyperactivity at once. Had to be removed from the rest of my classes for a day or two.

Summer 2011!!!! :D

So yeah,I'm in vacation for 2 weeks at Punta del Este and having a fantastic time so far!! I've been here since 31 december, and its awesome! I've been going to surf lessons everyday,I love surfinG! Best sport in the whole world... and we also went to this really cool sea museum where I bought a SOUVENIR heeehee XD And we went to the water park, its small, but it has some cool slides! We went to a cool Euro Bungy and a mechanic bull with my cousin and Sofi we had a ton of fun! We also went to this cool beach with HUGE dunes and I did a lot of sandboarding in them but sometimes I felland it hurt a lot because the sand was full of wood or something but it was okay cause i love sandboarding. we also did morey and it was pretty fun!! theres a pool in the apartment im staying in so we go there and we have fun too! Today we went to this HUGE slide it was awesome and then to a thing you span around and it got me and my cousin all dizzy and i lay down in the back of the car but my cousin couldnt (she was on one of the front seeats) and she vomited...poor she!! :D now she feels better, shes watching TV :) and were ordering food right now so YAY!!!!

Would this be considered my second blog entry?

Can you comment on blog entries?

Has anyone seen my other one? I just read it, man I was ON something that day. LOL I dont even remember writing it.

Anyway, I dont know what I am writing about. I really dont, all I can think of is I'm hungry, and I havent gotten a call yet from my step mom. Which is weird cuz she wanted to meet up at 11 am, and its now 11:07 am. WELL IM NOT MOVING! Ha. I dont feel like going anywhere.

In my last blog entry, I was mentioning how it felt like christmas, how I was just lying on my ass, doing my own thing, staying at home and drinking hot chocolate. Its so true, I do that every year around christmas. Once snow hits the ground, I dont like leaving. I like staying home doing nothing. Its a Canadian thing I think. People tend to stay home much more in the winter and 'hibernate'. We hardly go outside.

Banned from Evthreads...

I am going to be unbanned tonight, but I'm not going back. And this time, I mean it.

Besides, there are better forums on Evanescence. Like this one ;)

Make me rich!

Just kidding, wealth begins with happiness but then it usually just spirals down.

You may not believe that but I do.

Speaking of things in which no one believes except me, I'm thinking about God and I seem to have... a bond or something with places to do with him or stuff to do with him. It makes me feel safer and gives me a feeling of peace...

I should probably make a post where someone can actually reply instead of just view.