evanfan1117

Alright..all of this started about three years ago..I met a guy who I thought was amazing and that I could trust him..and then he raped me. I didn't tell anyone..not a soul..and that situation slowly died and has become a thing of the past. Well ever since then I have been severally depressed and things just don't seem worth anything. A couple of months ago the same thing happened..a REALLY dear friend of mine used me..but this time I am telling someone and things are going way to fast. I can't really grasp what is happening and things are just blurring..and I just need some advice..

Jane

My sincerest advice to you would be to get the help of a professional to help you sort through all of the feelings that have been locked inside of you for all this time. You need to sift through it all, and with this new set of circumstances that have occurred, there's no way to be able to do it yourself. A therapist, psychiatrist, etc., will help you to put your life back together and figure out how you can move past all the difficulties you've had to deal with.

It's great that you've gotten this recent event out in the open, but you need to come clean with everything else to someone that can help you fix yourself up. Keeping all of what you're thinking bottled up inside is not healthy, and I'm not going to pretend that I - or most anyone else on this board - has the proper advice for you. I'm not even sure where the healing process should begin.

You've shown great strength so far, take it one step further and get the rest of the help that you need. You'll be glad that you did.

End.

Livo

You've taken the first step in posting your story. Rapists use a victim's silence to their advantage; it's a positive sign that you feel strong enough to take a stand against their actions.

Firstly, whatever you may think, no matter what, it was not your fault! Regardless of what he may have said or done, whatever he/you was doing beforehand, if you did or didn't say "no", it was not your fault. You need to know and believe that.

You may feel scared, angry, or unwilling to talk during counselling, and that's normal to feel. Sexual assault is an emotionally and physically traumatic crime (several of my female friends have been sexually assaulted), and healing is not easy. Have faith in yourself though; you're strong enough to seek help and to speak out. You can recover and show your attackers that you have beaten them. Good luck.

Katya

First off, I'd like to tell you how proud I am that you did tell someone. That takes a lot of strength and courage.

I agree with agentpudge and Livo. I think that seeking professional help would be good for you, just to get everything that's in your mind sorted out. While all of us here would love to help in any way we can, we aren't professionals, so our help is limited.

It's probably really scary for you right now, the way things are working out. However, hold on to the thought that things are probably moving so fast for you because people are trying to get this guy legally punished for his actions.

I can't offer better advice than that; Livo and AP pretty much summed up all I have to say. Best wishes to you, hun. I hope things work out for you.

Music Box

Thats something thats so very important. I was know what you are going through. After I consulted with a teacher at school about it, I felt so much better. She told me that very statement, and it empowered me. I also got some help from people on the evboard (you are all so supportive and I love you all very much.) Most everyone on here will be willing to talk with you and help you. I'm here, and I'll listen anytime. Be strong, be confident, be calm, be careful.

Much love, and I'm here anytime you need to talk.

Em

victorianrose

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It makes me sick. Yet I can already tell that you are stronger and wiser that I am. I'm so glad, like with everyone else on here, that you are telling someone. The first step to healing is believing that you can. I KNOW YOU CAN. You will get through this, and you will grow from it. If you need anyone to talk to or anything at all, just PM me. I'll be here.

evanfan1117

wow..reading that made me tear up for some reason. I'm going to therapy starting next week and I've pressed charges against the guy who did it. There's still the problem of I can't seem to grasp everything, its like enternally I just don't want to except it..but mentally I have. All in all I just think its myself trying to stop myself from getting over everything. If any of you want to talk to me via messenger just PM me and I'll give you the right SN's and such.

Thanks again everyone, I'll keep you posted on everything thats happening.

heartstringz

Evanfan, it's great that you are getting help and I'm very proud of you for having the courage to press charges. You're stronger than I am because that's something I never had the guts to do.

I think the problems you say you are having with not accepting it will be helped by your therapy. However, denial is fairly common when something this big happens to a person and it just takes time to finally come to grips with what happened. I don't know if this is the right term but for me it was like a grieving process - I guess you grieve for what they have stolen from you. It is something that hurts, angers and upsets you at first and you feel helpless and useless but gradually you come to accept it.

The way I dealt with the emotions they left me with was to write it out. If you feel that your therapist doesn't help to the extent that you need then find some other way that does. Writing is my own personal therapy, see if you can find yours.

Best of luck and keep us informed.

Vicky

Dark Star

im so sorry you had to go through something like this, especially on your own. but you're not on your own anymore. that changed when you told someone. it must have been so hard but doing it could have saved more girls like you.

dont try and push yourself to feel better sooner. it all takes time. but it will get better and you will get your life back. just dont loose hope when it seems like its never coming, it'll come before you know it. take care x

evanfan1117

Well..heres my update..

My mother refused to take me to therapy and guess why, because she didn't want to. Thats my mother for you, never willing to go out of her way for anyone. She told me that I was fine and that I would get over it. I haven't slept in over two weeks without waking up with horrible nightmares. I look and feel like I've had it..things just seem to be getting worse. The guy I pressed charges on has been told there is no evidence against him, and I'm most likely going to start alot more trouble than its worth..

*sigh* yeah..I'm not surprised at all by whats happened..

Sometimes I wonder if my parents aren't right about just giving up..hehe..seems the easiest thing to do right about now