Music Box

Dear Me,

I don't know what to say. You gave up. You've given up on a lot things. It's your fault that your life is in shambles right now. It's not like you've had opportunities for things. You've blown it, a lot. You blew school away. There's several things that you could have done to save at least two relationships I can thing of. You gave up being sober, because you couldn't handle all the pain, instead of dealing with it. But that IS your way of dealing.

You're conditioned. But you've been shown alternate direction. Just because the guide is no longer there, doesn't mean you can't take the path on your own. But it's too much to deal with on your own. And why must you do everything on your own? Life isn't fair. And promises never mean anything. Even yours.

You just want to go back, reverse time, correct your mistakes. Just because you gained positive things from something, doesn't mean it wasn't a mistake. Having something good for a little while to lose everything completely constitutes as a mistake.

I'm appalled with a lot of your immoral decisions you've made over the last several years of your life. I can't believe you've stooped so low. Your craving to be loved by people and substances is ridiculous. But it's not like you can shut that off. You love hard. You love fast. You love easy. And it's not like you shouldn't be treated the same. Your love isn't fair, because 8/10 times you're the only one sharing the love. Your love dies and cannot withstand against all odds. Sometimes you're the asshole.

I don't think you should expect or even hope for anyone to truly forgive you and let go of your trespasses. You will be punished for them for the rest of your life. You're human. You make mistakes, but some people will never see you for just that, exactly that. You're supposed to be upright, outstanding, and superb all the time. It's what's expected, and you can't even do that?

Maybe you shouldn't have to be. No one else is, and you do what you can to be a perfect human being. No one's perfect, but sometimes yeah, you're damn close. Other times, you couldn't be any farther from perfect, and then you find out you're more than imperfect.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you don't need anyone else. But you just can't do it alone, can you?

Yeah, well you have to.

Fredward

Dear me,

Gosh, wine moar. 0_0

just an illusion

Dear me,

Is it worth it? Yes, you know it is. But will you be able to pull it off? I'm not so sure about that.. The past three weeks have been hell and I'm not sure how it'll be afterwards. I know you want this to work out as fuck. But will it?

I know it hurts so much now but it'll hurt without, as well. But what is better? What is the right choice? I know what your heart wants, even though it aches so much right now. But I know what it wants. I'm just afraid you'll give in again and instead of being majorly cracked it'll be broken in pieces. Not intentionally, it's just because you won't be able to handle it.

Three days. Just try to hang in there for three days. I really hope that tomorrow you will finally decide if you'll talk face to face or not. Though, I'm pretty sure something will come up when you are supposed to decide. But just try to survive these three days. If nothing happens on Monday, then it speaks volumes and you should just let go. There is way too many things that need to be discussed and it can't keep being postponed. You won't be able to live with it. So, three days it is.. Fingers crossed?..

Alighieri

whine*

Dear me,

You will scrape up $20 this weekend, and you will end up getting what you wanted. Stop relying on other people to share with you, you got to finally get this shit on your own.

Phoenix Fires

Dear me,

Perhaps you'd better be prepared for the possible outcome? XD

Love, me

Alighieri

Dear Me,

Why apologize for something you're not sorry for? It's pointless.

Larki18

Dear Me,
DO YOUR ESSAY. DO IT. You'll regret it if you leave it any longer. It's your only real homework for the night, just pick a topic and get it over with. You've had over a week to do it already....

Alighieri

Dear me,

When it becomes 4:00 PM, you WILL study Chemistry. You will NOT just glance at the packet for a few minutes, yell "DONE", and throw the packet out of the window. You will actually study tonight.

Arya.

Dear me,

I know you have a hard time, I know that there's a mess with your friends and everything but stop wanting to stop thinking. It's hard but face it. You can't watch like 9 episodes of series in a day just to give up on thinking, and you can't get obsessed with this. Remember, you aim high? You are a perfectionist and here is your time. You don't need anybody. I know that you are sorry but...
they apparently are not. Don't waste your time.

Daenerys

Dear Me,

You really should have tried to log onto blackboard days ago because apparently, you don't know your name and password and you have a quiz coming up. Dumbass.

Me