Jane

Because I have no idea what the fuck it is any more. I thought I had a crush on Vince, but honestly, if I did, that was the only crush I've ever had and so now I'm not really sure if I have another one or not. I don't crush on people. People crush on me, because I'm damn awesome, irresistible, and would probably be the best woman any man could ever have (a few exceptions aside), but I don't crush on people. Period.

Why is this bothering me? Everyone seems to think I have a crush on this guy I know. I don't think I do; I just think everyone else is delusional or something. However, short of just straight out asking the guy whether HE thinks I have a crush on him, I thought I'd ask other opinions first.

To give background for those of you that don't know, there's this guy I sort of know from college. By sort of know, I mean that we've never really hung out or anything outside of class, and I've only talked to him a few times. But we're friends. We're going to Cedar Point with another mutual friend this spring. I think this guy is FASCINATING. Everything about him I find interesting because he really is peculiar. He definitely stands out from other people, so I'm damn curious about him. Everyone else is telling me that this curiosity = a crush. I just think it's plain curiosity.

He also makes me giggly, but I think that's just a result of the curiosity... personally.

What do y'all think? What the fuck is a crush and how do you know if you have one? And if you have one, what the hell do you DO about it?

Rocksatyourwindow

Aw
That reminds me of the time when I was just friends with my boyfriend.
Haha, does it tell you something?
Look, when someone is interesting to you, that means that you find something different in them, and you like them. Because as far as I know interesting is a positive adjective, isn't it?
I don't know how to deifne crush, but I can tell you what happened to me before falling in love with my boyfriend.
We started chatting (on the Internet) as we had a common friend who had introduced us to each other.
I liked the way he was, I didn't even know what he looked like, and I thought 'this is the Internet, nothing serious can result from this'.
The thing is, he asked me out and I agreed to meet him, I was so curious about him.
He was very polite and I didn't think he was particularly handsome, but I realized that he was even more interesting to me than before.
And eventually I couldn't turn a blind I to my falling in love with him.
You know, I think you shouldn't try to define your feelings, you shouldn't be worried nor try to anticipate what will come.
Enjoy this interest he arouses on you.
If you're not sure this is a crush, then it isn't. It will be when you don't need to ask someone else, moreover, it will be when you don't even give a fuck what other people think about it.

Selfish&Cold

Jane, I love you. For me a crush is when I cant stop thinking about a girl and I walk around with a big fat smile on my face all day. Not to mention I constantly talk about her. Its just that great feeling you feel whenever they around or not around for that matter. I don't know Jane, you could have a crush on him. Are you sexually attracted to him? Thats usually a good sign....I think anyway. I am by no means an expert though.

Jane

Good.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and even if it were a crush, it would probably be the definition of stupid to stray from my celibacy at this point. I think I'm best off just to stick to what I've been doing the past few years.

Thank you.

Melanie

Why not just keep an open mind? Does it really need a label? Closing yourself off to possibility is rather...well...close-minded. If you are wanting the world, you have to be open to it.

Just my 2 cents...

Wildangel

I agree with Melanie. Don't close yourself off to the possibility of it being a crush- to possibly grow in to more.
Crush defined to me is when you are giddy, you think about this person constantly. You see them and get nervous. Simple stuff like that.

Jane

Maybe. But to want something like that, you also have to be open to the idea that you might lose it.

Rocksatyourwindow

It's looks like you give up before starting.
You don't want to risk for fear of losing, do you?
Sometimes, trying and losing is an experience from which you learn lots of things. Some people need to stumble or even fall more than once to learn things. People stumble and fall all the time. Perhaps you don't want to let yourself down, to disappoint yourself.
Maybe you are not sure about your feelings and it's great to know when to go on or step aside, but if what you're not sure about isn't your feelings but yourself, then you should think twice. You'll see that failure is a step to success. If you want to learn, then let yourself make mistakes.
I don't want to say stuff and nonsense about you, cause I don't really know how you are and how you feel. But if what I said is right, then I tell you that I wouldn't miss the chance to be happy with somebody else if I were you.
Good luck!

Saphira

Jane, it sounds to me like you may not have a crush on him...for now. But I think if you're this interested, you may develop feelings for him later on. At least, that's kind of how it always worked for me! I would think a guy was interesting and want to get to know him, and then one day I'd wake up and suddenly be a little TOO excited to see him. Haha.

Well, whatever you decide to do, I hope you are happy.

Jane

I think certain people have more to lose in some situations.

It's about weighing your odds, and the possible benefits vs. possible consequences. For instance, if I were to play poker, I'd be much more willing to gamble if I were only gambling with $100, than if I had gotten up to over $10,000. I'd be much more reluctant to gamble that $10,000 away than the $100. Or there's a difference of gambling away something more, like a child's college tuition, as opposed to just a couple hundred bucks. If you lose that tuition, or if you were to lose that large chunk of money, it may be very devastating and damaging.

Sometimes there are risks not worth taking. That's all.