angerslegacy

I honestly am caught up in the strangest feeling. It like I cannot look at myself.

My parents have always wanted a son but they got two daughters instead.They never tried to hide their anger at being the only family out of everyone we know to have no sons.As a result,I feel so much pain at what they feel.Bad enough that I dream about them having a son even though I am their 19 year old daughter.
Not to mention it,I feel females never get what they deserve. Put it this way. I am feminist but I hate myself and women in general.Yet,I demand we get equal rights.I get offended at the smallest things.My boyfriend will tell me I am beautiful and I will feel all upset because beautiful is such a girly word.My english teacher also said I looked pretty and I felt upset.I got offended at the movie's when I was watching Borat when he said "WHAT?Women have the right to say no to sex?" What do you think?
Not only do women have to go through childbirth but periods as well after that?What do guys ever have to go through?

Why do guys get it all?If women have periods why don't guys suffer with something as well?I would love to see them give birth.My period pains are so bad that one time I even fainted because of them.So I have to go through it all only to have guys say to me,"I am so glad I am not a girl.But you are acting like a bitch."Yeah, lucky them.
Woman have to shave their legs and things like that.Why?What do guys ever have to do? NOTHING.
I hate it so much.It haunts me all night and all day that I am nothing but a girl.In my culture,which is an Indian culture,males have power.My male Indian cousins can marry whoever but I cannot.I have to have an arranged marriage but they can go live with whoever they love.Girls are expected to be nice and just clean all day long and have children.WHY can't a Indian girl who lives in AMERICA live her own life and decide who she can marry?No,only Indian males can..

I know there are women out there who are proud of being a woman,so please help me out here

All throughout history, women have been disregarded as nothing.Hell,in the Indian culture,women were expected to die for their husbands or die with them. So why do my male cousins get to marry whoever but I have to marry who the family picks for me?HELL NO.

Indian guys get away with everything.My friend who is also from this culture has to go and make her brother's bed.WHY? They are men..why don't they make their own beds instead of playing XBox live?

My entire life I have been chained up inside my house.I was not allowed to leave.But guys could.They can go out and stay out til 1 am.I have to be back by 8 30. 9 is too late...IF I can even see my friends. I have not seen friends in over three months.

I can't even look at myself anymore. I take showers in the dark to avoid looking at myself. The one time I did, I seriously felt my stomach churning and I almost threw up. I close my eyes while changing.I just do not know what to do anymore.I hate it so much.

Even in American society,men are considered to be better.They get paid more. I hate having to walk around and feel like men think they can take advantage of me. I hate taking my car for an oil change because who knows what they will charge me thinking I am just a little girl? It is EXACTLY how David Hodges wrote that one song.."Just a little girl." Thank you, David Hodges. Exactly. That is all I am...just a little girl. Useless..chained up...and depressed. Someone who cannot even look at themselves without feeling disgust. I stopped my boyfriend from touching/hugging me because looking at him reminds Me of what I really am. Useless...weak..wimpy...forgotten...

Melanie

I am not exactly sure what you are needing advice on here.

In a way, what your stating is quite sexist and you are somewhat contradicting yourself.

You may want to think about posting your feelings here or maybe even here.

I do wish you luck.