^^^I feel the exact same way.
My heart go's right out, to anyone battling this disease. <333333

When I was a young kid, I was always teased, because I was really
thin, and always had been.
It came to the point, where I wouldn't do Gym anymore, because
I didn't want anyone seeing my body, and actually thank god for
my spine, I was really able to get out of it and be honest about
it.
It was the hardest thing, just to look in the mirror everyday.
I use to cry, and it came to the point I became suicidal.
I had to go for alot of therapy, and have psycologists, you name it
I had working with me.
I understand exactly what people feel, when it comes to this, and as well
feling different.
But I found out alot about myself, and got right down to all the things that
I couldn't get over, and that were stuck inside that I couldn't release.
IMO, I think the one thing people need to know, is that they are NOT
alone.
<333 For All The People who Are Still In this Situation. <3333

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Always Believe In Your Self!!!

I had an eating disorder but nothing like anorexia or bulemia. I posted about my eating disorder before. Emetophobia. I was so thin, I wasn't even getting my period. I was malnurished and tired all the time!

I see my sister, who has anorexia, and I feel so horrible for her. I blame this mostly on my mother though. You see my mom is REALLY big on her daughters not being fat. All the time she tells us when we need to lose weight. My other sister (The one who used to have bulemia) used to be overweight. Not MAJORLY so but she was overweight. My mom was on her ass about it day and night. Finally she decided the best way to get thin was to binge and purge. I mean my mother was, and still is, cruel to her about her eating choices. Sure she's not overweight any more but she's always on a diet, always watching calories...it's not fun.

Then there is my sister with anorexia, she barely eats anything. She runs three miles every morning and then goes to the gym every night. Her diet consists mostly of salad and fruit. She's a vegan, and she claims it's because of animal cruelty, but I really think it's mostly because she doesn't want to get fat. She's far from fat and has never been fat. I can't tell you how many times a day she asks me if she looks fat. She's not overly thin either but she is FAR FAR FAR From beinig fat. I feel so bad for her. I know that she's been diagnosed with anorexia and my parents are trying to get her help. She's 22 though and my parents can't really force her to do anything.

In my family all of us have had eating disorders in one form or the other. It's not hard for me to understand wanting to look like that. I find myself wishing that I was as thin as I was 5 years ago. I tell people that I would like to be down to 110 pounds again....I fantasize about it constantly. Will I actually take the steps to do it? No. I guess that's where my eating disorder ends. Just so y'all know, I feel fat all the time, ALL THE TIME, but I do not starve myself....I know that I am beautiful and even get whistled at walking down the street but there's always a nagging thought in the back of my head telling me I could stand to lose 20 pounds. That voice sounds like my mom cause she tells me that all the time.

Okay I'm done now.

~Monica

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"How do you know you're crazy unless someone tells you? And how do you know THEY aren't?"--John Munch

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I totally relate to that one. That's why I got rid of all my friends. w00t for less guilt.

But really, that's sad. I don't know why you're thinking of suicide, but I do know that the reason you bring up your friends is because you KNOW that you have people that love you and care about you and would be devastated if you were to kill yourself. Surely you can find the same things to love about yourself that they all love.

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Here's a new one:

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^^^Thats a great one Jul, I have been through that myself.
As well have had others go through it too.

I love the pic itself, Very beautiful!!! <3

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Always Believe In Your Self!!!

I'm wondering if it's possible that someone posts a secret, which Trina actually wouldn't be able to relate to? lol...

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Hey, theres already been a couple.
*Laughs*

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Always Believe In Your Self!!!

It's nice to know I'm not alone...

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