EvBoard Writer's Group - Page 14 - EvBoard

Violette · 06-06-2006, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by i-miss-roses

Now I have a question: Ok, the theme is Morning, but do we have to write it in a certain way? Does it have to say morning, or be about morning specifically, or is the theme more like a... well, prompt, that we can just get an idea from and go with? Because mine started as about morning and changed into something very different.

There's no real set way of writing the poems according to the theme. If you want to write about an actual morning (kinda like what Nameless did), that's fine. But yeah, as you said, the theme is more like a prompt. So whatever you think of that somehow pertains to the theme is fantastic. Hope this helps!

*looks forwards to reading more pieces in the coming days*

Shivercide · 06-06-2006, 11:29 PM

perfect_ghost - I thought your story was beautiful. It's so wonderfully descriptive, in such a gorgeous way that it leaves my emotions aching. As if every feeling has been squeezed out of it, drenched, until all my strength is lost. After I read it the first time, I went back and read it again. It also tugged at my curiosity; it seems to be a part of something bigger, a larger story - or it very well could be.

And Violette, your poem refreshes me. Though the idea is somewhat frightening, it has the sense of being grateful for normal everyday things, that we receive so often we don't know how to appreciate them anymore. This focuses on that, and the description along with the perfect flow left me just breathless.

perfect ghost · 06-07-2006, 12:55 AM

Thank you very much. I appreciate all of your wonderful comments as well as the fact that you liked it enough to go back and read it again. At the moment, it is no longer than what I posted, although I did feel as though I could keep writing! I always find myself going back and adding things to previous writings, so if I do add to it, I will be sure to post the updated version. Thanks again

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shivercide

perfect_ghost - I thought your story was beautiful. It's so wonderfully descriptive, in such a gorgeous way that it leaves my emotions aching. As if every feeling has been squeezed out of it, drenched, until all my strength is lost. After I read it the first time, I went back and read it again. It also tugged at my curiosity; it seems to be a part of something bigger, a larger story - or it very well could be.
.

i-miss-roses · 06-07-2006, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Violette

There's no real set way of writing the poems according to the theme. If you want to write about an actual morning (kinda like what Nameless did), that's fine. But yeah, as you said, the theme is more like a prompt. So whatever you think of that somehow pertains to the theme is fantastic. Hope this helps!

*looks forwards to reading more pieces in the coming days*

Thanks! I posted it, and I would love feedback. Especially what people thought it was about, because I have a feeling it's too obscure.

Comments for the 'morning' pieces...

Nameless: You always have such a strong voice in your poems. They have this really great mood to them that I love. I don't really know what to say, except your use of language is exquisite, and the images you create are beautiful.

Violette: That is a frightening idea. I remember in science, they asked to decide which side of the world we'd live on if the world stopped spinning. We chose the edge between the two. Tangents aside, I love the way you've written it; the imagery is lovely, especially your use of colour.
My favourite lines are:
Flowers in their tidy beds
Wouldn’t open and place their sightless gaze on me
The nightingale’s call to heaven
Would draw tears even from a man’s eyes
especially the last two, which are brilliant.

Black&Red · 06-08-2006, 01:03 PM

Nameless- I like how clear you see it, what you are really talking about you don't have to stop and think you just walk through the journey.

perfect ghost- Your late but, who cares that was awsome I red it twice. You had so much of you in it you can feel the emotions like if you were standing right there next to you. WOw!

Violette- I love yours the whole thing, its just really good. Um I can't say more Just really good.

i-miss-roses- I love the fantasy of it the words are perfect in a awsome order. I like the lines;
clumsy of me, I know,
but I was always the girl tripping
over yesterday, while you were caught
up in tomorrow.

you’d only write in
calligraphy and blood,
but I’d sign my name in
fingerprints on the bathroom mirror.

Man you guys are great writers. Rock On!!!!

Violette · 06-09-2006, 09:16 AM

Thanks to everyone who's commented on mine so far - I really appreciate it.

I thought mine was a little weird at first, to be honest.

Comments on the pieces posted so far:

Nameless: A little different than the other pieces I've read of yours, but still really good. I felt very peaceful when I finished reading it. Not to mention I love descriptions of sunsets. And this part:
The world immersed, is filled with light;
A prism of colors, textures, sounds,
That spills into the crevasses of night...
Awesome stanza. You couldn't have said it any better, I think.

perfect ghost: Yours was awesome, too, hun. Just the words, the images, the feelings it evoked. I can't even pick out anything in particular... I'd probably ended up quoting the whole piece. *lol*

i-miss-roses: I'm glad you still decided to post this one. I don't know if this was intentional, but I thought it was kewl that you let the sun/sunlight stand for the other person's eyes (not in a positive way, but still...). Black&Red quoted my favorite part of the piece already, but it's the stanza beginning with "you'd only write in...".

Black&Red: Interesting piece. Morning isn't always a happy time for some people. For the narrator, it sounds like morning is when his/her nightmarish life comes back to life. Nice contrast. I especially like the first stanza.

Black&Red · 06-12-2006, 07:12 PM

RE: Black&Red: Interesting piece. Morning isn't always a happy time for some people. For the narrator, it sounds like morning is when his/her nightmarish life comes back to life. Nice contrast. I especially like the first stanza.

Violette- Thank you, Yes mornings are not always great. You got some from it I didn't even see. Rather I didn't know I put in, but felt it and didn't know I wrote it in, Thanks for seeing that, now I see it.

charmedone2006- Your story was awsome, it reminded me when I got hit by a car cause I felt I fell, down and down. I almost died right there at the edge of death. So very powerful to me, and nicely done Rock on.

Carmen- It's so small, but I really liked it, I'm gonna read it again, wait.........Ok ya no more then just to say its great!!!! It's one of those poems that make you feel good, never read one that made me feel good.

Violette · 06-14-2006, 11:52 AM

Wow... it's already almost time for a new topic? Time flies, I guess.

charmedone2006: I agree with Black&Red, that was definitely a powerful story your poem told. Including the crying brother was really what did it for me. And the poem itself had a nice flow. Good job - and feel free to post more stuff in future topics.

Carmen: Your piece doesn't need to be any longer - it's so sweet. I liked that very last line, too; and good idea to have it sitting apart from the rest of the poem.

Return to Chaos: I don't think you need to worry about being rusty at writing poetry.

I thought it was very good. It had some beautiful images and descriptions of feelings. Bravo!

charmedone2006 · 06-14-2006, 07:01 PM

Hey, Thanks for the wonderful comments guys.....I've read all your works, and i must say, Pretty impressive...has anyone ever thought of "The book of Evboarders?"...lol anyways, looking forward to reading more posts.

Svetlana-S.V.D. · 06-15-2006, 09:27 AM

Oh! I wasn’t here like forever!!!!

There are so many great poems and stuff here! And I really can’t say which I love best! Great work to everyone!

I had a problem with this topic... I became tangled with my minds, and had no time to think enough... so I wrote and wrote... I wanted to change my point of view, but everything I made seemed the same to me and not interesting! So I decided to stop my inner battle

and to post several pieces that I like!
Is it ok, if I post more then one piece? If it’s not – I’ll choose the one!

p.s. I had really bad weeks (to much to do)... so i hadn’t time to comment previous topic... so... I even print every piece of it and made notes to make my comment better but later... but I’ve lost that papers... and I’m sad about that, because it’s really hard to make the same work in the second time! I remember i was shocked with Nameless’s piece (in good way as always), and I liked To sell my soul very much,... and there were a lot of good words... that topic was very interesting and really better then I could emagine!!!

06-09-2006, 09:16 AM	#136 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Thanks to everyone who's commented on mine so far - I really appreciate it. I thought mine was a little weird at first, to be honest. Comments on the pieces posted so far: Nameless: A little different than the other pieces I've read of yours, but still really good. I felt very peaceful when I finished reading it. Not to mention I love descriptions of sunsets. And this part: The world immersed, is filled with light; A prism of colors, textures, sounds, That spills into the crevasses of night... Awesome stanza. You couldn't have said it any better, I think. perfect ghost: Yours was awesome, too, hun. Just the words, the images, the feelings it evoked. I can't even pick out anything in particular... I'd probably ended up quoting the whole piece. lol i-miss-roses: I'm glad you still decided to post this one. I don't know if this was intentional, but I thought it was kewl that you let the sun/sunlight stand for the other person's eyes (not in a positive way, but still...). Black&Red quoted my favorite part of the piece already, but it's the stanza beginning with "you'd only write in...". Black&Red: Interesting piece. Morning isn't always a happy time for some people. For the narrator, it sounds like morning is when his/her nightmarish life comes back to life. Nice contrast. I especially like the first stanza. __________________ Come join!

06-12-2006, 07:12 PM	#137 (permalink)
Black&Red Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Brea, Ca Age: 21 Posts: 160 Points: 857.44 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 857.44 Donate	RE: Black&Red: Interesting piece. Morning isn't always a happy time for some people. For the narrator, it sounds like morning is when his/her nightmarish life comes back to life. Nice contrast. I especially like the first stanza. Violette- Thank you, Yes mornings are not always great. You got some from it I didn't even see. Rather I didn't know I put in, but felt it and didn't know I wrote it in, Thanks for seeing that, now I see it. charmedone2006- Your story was awsome, it reminded me when I got hit by a car cause I felt I fell, down and down. I almost died right there at the edge of death. So very powerful to me, and nicely done Rock on. Carmen- It's so small, but I really liked it, I'm gonna read it again, wait.........Ok ya no more then just to say its great!!!! It's one of those poems that make you feel good, never read one that made me feel good. Last edited by Black&Red : 06-14-2006 at 01:24 PM.

06-14-2006, 11:52 AM	#138 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Wow... it's already almost time for a new topic? Time flies, I guess. charmedone2006: I agree with Black&Red, that was definitely a powerful story your poem told. Including the crying brother was really what did it for me. And the poem itself had a nice flow. Good job - and feel free to post more stuff in future topics. Carmen: Your piece doesn't need to be any longer - it's so sweet. I liked that very last line, too; and good idea to have it sitting apart from the rest of the poem. Return to Chaos: I don't think you need to worry about being rusty at writing poetry. I thought it was very good. It had some beautiful images and descriptions of feelings. Bravo! __________________ Come join!

06-15-2006, 09:27 AM	#140 (permalink)
Svetlana-S.V.D. Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ukraine Age: 23 Posts: 147 Points: 2,109.56 Bank: 607.13 Total Points: 2,716.69 Donate	Oh! I wasn’t here like forever!!!! There are so many great poems and stuff here! And I really can’t say which I love best! Great work to everyone! I had a problem with this topic... I became tangled with my minds, and had no time to think enough... so I wrote and wrote... I wanted to change my point of view, but everything I made seemed the same to me and not interesting! So I decided to stop my inner battle and to post several pieces that I like! Is it ok, if I post more then one piece? If it’s not – I’ll choose the one! p.s. I had really bad weeks (to much to do)... so i hadn’t time to comment previous topic... so... I even print every piece of it and made notes to make my comment better but later... but I’ve lost that papers... and I’m sad about that, because it’s really hard to make the same work in the second time! I remember i was shocked with Nameless’s piece (in good way as always), and I liked To sell my soul very much,... and there were a lot of good words... that topic was very interesting and really better then I could emagine!!! __________________ My stuff ... My band... My land ...the children of chernobyl...

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

06-08-2006, 01:03 PM	#135 (permalink)
Black&Red Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Brea, Ca Age: 21 Posts: 160 Points: 857.44 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 857.44 Donate	Nameless- I like how clear you see it, what you are really talking about you don't have to stop and think you just walk through the journey. perfect ghost- Your late but, who cares that was awsome I red it twice. You had so much of you in it you can feel the emotions like if you were standing right there next to you. WOw! Violette- I love yours the whole thing, its just really good. Um I can't say more Just really good. i-miss-roses- I love the fantasy of it the words are perfect in a awsome order. I like the lines; clumsy of me, I know, but I was always the girl tripping over yesterday, while you were caught up in tomorrow. you’d only write in calligraphy and blood, but I’d sign my name in fingerprints on the bathroom mirror. Man you guys are great writers. Rock On!!!!

06-14-2006, 07:01 PM	#139 (permalink)
charmedone2006 Life Of an unpaid Poet Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: New Britain, Ct Age: 24 Posts: 153 Points: 1,770.97 Bank: 6,308.82 Total Points: 8,079.79 Donate	Hey, Thanks for the wonderful comments guys.....I've read all your works, and i must say, Pretty impressive...has anyone ever thought of "The book of Evboarders?"...lol anyways, looking forward to reading more posts.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)