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Old 07-07-2008, 06:51 PM   #431 (permalink)
Shivercide
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Silver Wing - yours is a nostalgic memoir of sorts, and you've written it well. I know next to nothing of French, but even so I really like its place in this poem (I did end up having it translated). It is really sad too, but as Jane said it is something most of us can relate to. It really touches upon how certain people in our lives, even if fleeting, can really impact us in ways we will never forget.



Okay...so now that this round is over, I choose Jane to pick the next topic. XD
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Old 07-07-2008, 08:20 PM   #432 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivercide View Post
Okay...so now that this round is over, I choose Jane to pick the next topic. XD
::Grumbles:: -.- Fine. This is a two week thing, right?

EDIT: New topic is "Fall" through July 22nd.
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Old 07-08-2008, 08:16 AM   #433 (permalink)
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Well damn. I missed the last topic. Hopefully Ill make up for it with Jane's. You all did very well though. It was a good topic.
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:52 AM   #434 (permalink)
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I think EVERYONE did sensationaly well!!
And should all be very proud of your words you all wrote!!

Nice topic Jane!
I loved your poem, it was awesome!!
Thank you very much for the kind words, that really meant alot!
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Old 07-13-2008, 08:13 PM   #435 (permalink)
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::Grumbles:: -.- Fine. This is a two week thing, right?

EDIT: New topic is "Fall" through July 22nd.
I'm doing this one, I promise
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Old 07-16-2008, 12:32 PM   #436 (permalink)
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Great job all around so far.

Raskull, I like the rawness of yours, and how you chose to interpret "fall" as a verb rather than a noun.

Trina, I like the heartfelt sentiment in yours. I like how you start dark, but end on a positive note. It's nice to see someone writing about overcoming adversity. Nice.

Jane, I thought yours was just great. The power of your poem lies in its brevity, what is said, yet not said. The whole thing is very zen in a stones-on-the-path kind of way. Your poem spoke to me of someone caught in a desperate inner-struggle, and it's not that they can't see beauty, it's that they won't. They seem firm in the fact that they can't see anything but the "grey cool wind", yet at the end there is a twinge of regret. Shows that you don't have to write a mile's worth of text to make something very deep.

Shiver - once again, you've raised the bar on all of us. I thought that was just major league calibur stuff. Once more we see who the Evboard poet laureate truly is. My hat's off to you. I just love the way you use words, both in the conventional sense, and also viscerially to create movement in your work. The cascading text, and the use of different typefaces and font sizes is just brilliant. I can never pull that off, but you do it expertly.
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Old 07-16-2008, 12:46 PM   #437 (permalink)
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Since this is directed towards all of you, I will just say what I feel.....

WOW!!!
I am absolutely Stunned by all of your words.
All the deep discriptions you all add, and the powerful feelings
to it all, is just incredable.
You all write like your a profesional, and make it look like it
comes to you that easy.
I know it comes right from your hearts, and deep down.
As I read each poem, I can just feel each word, and just imagine
it all in my mind, and get such a clear vision as to every sentence.
You are all such INCREDABLE writers, and I have never seen anything better.
You each teach me something, and I feel it makes me feel a little stronger.
Much Love to All Of You!!
<333
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Old 07-18-2008, 01:00 AM   #438 (permalink)
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hey all rejoice im back to join in this one if i get unpacked and creative in the next few days.
btw great job to all in the last topic.
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Old 07-20-2008, 12:34 PM   #439 (permalink)
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Raskull: Overall I found your poem uneven in the sense that at times it was brisque and others it was very fluid. I'm not sure if I find this a positive thing or not, but it certainly made me stop to try and read into your poem a bit. I feel that some of the techniques you used were effective, but I find that they aren't used in full coherency; therefore, the poem is given a broken, awkward feel, IMO. Very interesting depiction of the topic at hand; I purposefully chose the topic hoping that we'd get a variety of responses, and I was not disappointed.

Sweet Tigger: Was the purple font purposeful? Or were you just having a bit of fun? I can never tell with you, lol. In fact, for the majority of the piece, I felt as if you were really writing toward our last topic "A Captured Moment"... so it was interesting that it feels like you've combined the two topics. I think your writing is getting better and more thought out. I'd encourage you to keep participating in this.

Silver Wing: I won't bother commenting too much, since you've heard most of it and even took some of it to heart. Although, I do like your variance of style in this poem as well as your uncanny ability to create such personal stories in your writing. Very useful.

Shivercide: You captured the topic in a very specific way. I like how much thought and care you took with this piece; it's appreciated and noticed. There's so much going on and yet, it reads with perfect unity and intent. I really liked how you played against the idea of perfection as well; I found that to be the most effective part of your writing process. You have a great ability of concentrating yourself to a particular theme and running with it. Again, I applaud your efforts as being the greatest of all of ours.

~river~: The clipped tone that your poem has aids to your visual description immensely. You've sychronized your tone with what you're describing very well, and that's not always easy. I think you, apart from anyone, attempted to take the topic and use it in multiple ways, or at least that's what I take from this. That, in itself, is something that I find commendable. I really enjoyed all the different plays on the topic, whether it was intentional or not, I thought it was very intuitive.


I know that this topic still has a day or two before it ends, but I did tell Silver Wing to pick the next topic. So be on the look-out for his announcement.
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Old 07-20-2008, 07:18 PM   #440 (permalink)
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