Well thank you all I guess...the only reason I havent taken part in the others is because I didnt know how to write about the theme. I dont know big words which is why I tend to use simple words because I dont know any others. Hopefully there will be other themes that I can have a go at.

I thought everyone did a very good job. SW you have some talent there, it's not often you find a guy so brilliant at poetry, and Shannon well you amaze me everytime you come up with something so brilliant for each theme.
Steph is self explanitory, she's just one of the best writers I have come across in ages, Jane is often short, but gets right to the point and is also one of the most brilliant writers I have come across.
Trina I love how you write, you get better each week (I hope I havent forgotten anyone)

Hmm, okay, new topic is...LONLINESS

From today, August 5, to the 19th of August.

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Is it 2 late to join?

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Nope, just post in the entries thread on the current topic before the deadline and youre in.

We should maybe also mension....You can enter, and drop out
whenever you want.
So if you enter a poem, and if you decide you don't want to do it anymore,
there are no hard feelings!!

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Actually, if you enter and drop out, we have to kill you. This is really more like a gang. Join at your own risk.

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ok so i am a little behind on replying to everyone's previous efforts.
thanks to you all for you kind words XD it does actually mean a lot to me.

Kylie- I think you have most of the environmental feel of being near a waterfall, but in a lot of ways it was just to literal, there was a minimal little leap of the imagination. I mean imagery was there but there was no cause to explore it as a reader further and frankly I enjoy the pieces that really make me feel and think. Over all good effort, try to use some variances in your words and structure but it was good to see you enter.

Jane- again it was short but wonderfully layered and not lacking a single thing. There is really something in your writing that creates depth while remaining succinct. I like the tie of fate into a waterfall the linking of ideas and stanzas. All in all again marvellous.

SW- *speechless* normally your writing leaves me full of thoughts but this one just initially left me unable to think. The way you wrote it, the words you used the concept was just perfect. The sense of confidence and that everything would work out ok is really something I could learn from and if I am lucky I will believe that. Your poem gave me a sense of hope and for that I really thank you.

Trina- again even more improvement. There was a flow between your ideas and your choice of words are improving further. I like the hopeful ending you leave it with after starting with a little of conflict or unease.

Steph- you would think by now I would no longer be left amazed by each piece you produce but honestly every time I get left just as a amazed as always. You never cease to produce something so wonderfully rich of emotions. The interconnections in the choice of words and the ideas is just beautiful. Again the final stanza is just too perfect. It completes the poem with such a finality that leaves me wanting more.

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Fly, Blackbird, fly

Into the light of the dark black night.

Before commenting, I have a few things to say.

I've been noticing lately a large influx of new members many of whom have been showing a strong interest in writing (I've noticed an increase in Your Stuff threads). I would like to encourage ALL of these new members to join the Writer's Group and participate so we can get a wider variety of responses. Is there anything we can do to encourage new people to join, and is there any reason that some of the new members aren't joining?

I'm very curious about this, so I'd like to hear some feedback if any of you are perusing this thread.

~river~: I like the image you presented about the heart, it was interesting. Your poem actually felt very suffocating, but I guess that goes along with the feeling you were trying to create while writing. Nice choice of words, in some cases.

Silver Wing: Very interesting way of creating two poems, but frankly, I still don't get it. I'm also curious to know exactly the thought process behind your color choices, the manilla, the dark green, and the bright red. It was definitely different than what you normally write and it was a challenging way of approaching the topic. Very original and ambiguous.

Sweet Tigger: Trina, reading through your entry this week, one thing jumped straight to my mind... your errors. I think it's important to note that before you submit something, you should make every effort to clean it up of any spelling or grammatical errors, because those can distract from the actual poem. I know that this has been somewhat of a challenge for you, but don't be afraid of sending your poem to someone else in the Group to proofread it before you post it up. There's nothing wrong with that... and if you have someone edit it before you post it, you'll become better at catching your own mistakes.

That being said, I think you're getting better and creating imagery and your word choice is also improving. However, I'm not sure that it all jived very well. I feel like certain images could go together... the emptiness and the cold... the lightning and power to overcome loneliness, but from the poem itself, the way it reads, I didn't necessarily get that connection. Make sure that the poem is telling the story you want it to or is expressing the right kind of emotions that you're aiming for. Usually what helps this is just taking a breather and coming back to reread the poem after it has sat for a while so you're coming at it with a fresh mind. HTH.

Shivercide: I really like the direction you decided to take the topic this time around. I'm fond of the way you structured each of your stanzas and the breaks you choose between lines, I feel, are very well executed. That middle, italicized stanza is very powerful and really captures the essence of what your piece was about, IMO.

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I second this, I would love to see more members join in here. Anyone reading this that hasn't joined in yet for whatever reason, please don't be shy!

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Shannon - Once again you make me feel crushing emotion with your words and phrases. You are absolutely amazing with metaphor usage. I loved the description of the beating heart in its entirety, especially these lines - "Diminishes with each passing thud of an unfilled chamber / The blood rushes through / But this heart was designed to hold more." I could really feel those lines, and they really struck me.

Jane - Just wow. I could literally taste the acerbity in this, and it feels assaulting as every word and emotion seems to jump from the screen, tearing through me, letting me feel the description of pain in loneliness. It's also written really unique in its own right - instead of writing about a simple loneliness, you have captured the feeling of being alone with the loneliness. This definitely stands out to me, and makes the overall writing feel much more harsh, cold, and...alone.

Silver Wing - You've really done something much different here than previous writings. I really like the side-by-side oppositional views...it almost resembles a compare and contrast, both leading to the same ending - but approached with much different perspectives. There is an interesting insight in this.

Sweet Tigger - Based on another post you've made, it seems you don't take quite well to constructive criticism. Taking that into consideration, I'll just say that you do seem to be branching out better with every piece of writing you make. Sometimes it takes time, but that doesn't mean any of us are telling you to stop writing when trying to give you advice on how to get better.

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could make me love you less...

Jane- first thing that struck me was how you turned a theme that could have stayed reflective and stagnant into something that had power and movement. The anger, word choices and structuring made it abrasive and confronting. I am not sure if I enjoyed it because it was not a poem designed to be enjoyable, however I did get something out of it. Yet still with that all there was an overwhelming sense of loneliness borne of being alone.

Silver Wing- interesting I think sums your entry up. Two perspectives two poems and done well for something that is completely new look for this group. Simple yet effective and also a different way to look at loneliness.

Trina- You still improving. Yet I don’t know there seemed to be something a little repetitive in this entry. I think some of the words you were using to convey you imagery and idea did not do it justice. I cannot quite put my finger on it. However, you should not get disheartened just because of some constructive criticism. The whole point of reviewing a poem at the end is to share feelings and idea on it and that does include constructive criticism. Constructive criticism being said not to hurt feelings or make someone look for reason to be validated but to help produce a greater entry in the future.

Steph- there is a sense of danger or I felt a sense of danger and defensive measures through the use of hail and thorns. I like it. Another different take on loneliness that still remains true to the original idea, while remaining fresh and original. I love the sense of hope that underlies the poem along with the wistful nature of loneliness. I could relate to the wistful nature again it drags you in.

Moonlightwhispers- firstly yay for entering. I liked the concept you entered however I had time wanting to follow it through as the structuring you chose seemed to leave it disjointed. That was mainly caused by an over use of the “...” I look forward to seeing more enteries.

Josh- the imagery for loneliness I really don’t think could have been created and better. The scene you set was described well a little stereotypical but I enjoyed and I am very glad to have seen you entering.

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Fly, Blackbird, fly

Into the light of the dark black night.