Originally posted here

Why must we hide dear?
Lovers should wear white
Not afraid to be seen
Yet here we are dear
Black as our tainted dreams
I’ve been waiting forever
For someone to want me too
For a man like you
So much older than my innocence
Yet you came anyway

There are times when you scare me
Into a strange state of belief
Where you become a monster
And I’m your relief
Not tonight
You promised me safety
Not tonight
We have more important things
On our minds

Why are you crying dear?
What have you to hide?
There’s nothing to fear, dear
You said that yourself
A shadow towers over me
I take refuge in you
Cold, so cold
Where did your warmth go?

There are times when you scare me
Into a strange state of belief
Where you become a monster
And I’m your relief
Not tonight
You promised me safety
Not tonight
We have more important things
On our minds

Why am I screaming?
What’s this you’re bleeding!
No wait I’m bleeding!
WHY AM I BLEEDING?

STOP!

Why won’t you stop?
Why won’t you stop?
If you love me stop!
Yet you don’t stop
You whisper that you want me
And my body
That I belong to you forever now
What the hell did you do?

There are times when you scare me
Into a strange state of belief
Where you become a monster
And I’m your relief
Tonight!
You lied about safety
Tonight!
Why can’t this be a dream?

Just a horrible dream!

__________________

Solitary tear
burning a twisted path down a pallid cheek,
face devoid of passion, emotion,
empathy and rage.
No time to waste on questioning,
no story left to tell.
Too long I tried to fix this.
Too many sleepless nights
screaming silently in impotent despair,
too many heartbreaking phone calls.
I tried to give you what you wanted.
My best wasn't enough.
Now crushed between anger and guilt,
I stare at you three from the window,
on the outside, looking in.
A happy close-knit faction
where my love just isn't needed,
isn't enough to satisfy.
Keep your closeness, your selectiveness,
the sactity of your blood tie.
It will work no hardship on me.
I don't need your minimalist attention,
your meagre crumbs of love.
You never saw me as a person, too,
never entertained the thought
that I could break as well.
You used me to unlock her walled-up heart
and never stopped to count the cost
of broken trust.
I'm more than an extension of this family,
more han name, than flesh, than blood.
I'm not an instrument of your deceit,
nor an immature child's possession.
And you can steal away affection,
forget my very binding tie.
It's not so hard to be forgotten.
I've been growing old without you anyway.
Just answer me one question -
why wasn't it enough to just be me?
Why wasn't my love good enough?

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

Flickering behind closed eyes,
form lights blending into shadows...
my heart turned inside out, exposed
by evil's unrelenting tide...

- washing over me,
crashing into me,
slowly, roughly, burning cold -

And I lay here.
Try to grasp among my thoughts,
to put them under my control.

The headache comes and goes.

Hand reaches up, but only air's above me.
Flowing into me.
I gladly drink it up.

I refuse to give it up.

Flickering behind closed eyes,
these lights shine blindly - curtains drawn.
haunting shadows, spinning off,
monstrous shapes attacking...

It's this imaginary division
in which I falter.
A thin piece of skin between two worlds -
my eyelids, squeezing shut to fend it off.

Gripping tightly to these sheets,
my body aches.

But I will not give it up.
I refuse to give it up.

__________________
could make me love you less...

Meaning of Existence

I’ve followed in your footsteps,
Your tears have swallowed my fears,
And yet I can’t erase you from my soul,
Your life beats in my heart.

I’ve tried my best to destroy your thoughts,
But yet you are in my every dream,
Each breath I take lands in your chest,
You posses my every motion.

I can’t get you out of my soul,
My life,
Or my meaning of existence.
I’ve loved you for too long.

I can’t understand your grip on me,
Why I can’t forget you.
I haven’t enjoyed enough stability without you.
You have possessed my every thought.

I wanted to be rid of you,
End my life possibly happy,
But I can’t erase your past.
I cry too much in my sleep.

Why did I fall in love with you?
Had I known this was my consequence?
Why did I waste my precious moments on you?
When you weren’t even in my loving arms?

I can’t cry for you anymore,
When I can’t even drown out my sorrows.
I can’t call your name in the silence,
When my name never possessed your lips.

It’s done for good.
I want nothing more to do with your emotional vampiric ways.
I can’t shed another drop of hatred from my body,
When you can’t even notice my injustices.

I acted affronted around you for the last time,
When you can’t even claim you love me.
Why has my heart bled this long for you?
When you’ve clearly been possessed by another lover?

__________________


MY MYSPACE / My Poetry / MY Story

Your eyes are dark and foreboding,
A quality I'd like to relish in.
Your Stature Is Tall, and intimidating,
Baby, You don't know how long its been.

I'm entranced by you.
I'm infatuated by you.

Your smile is quick as an instant.
A quick flash I can catch as its gone.
Your eyes remain threatening,
But it is in them that I belong.

I'm entranced by you.
I'm infatuated by you.

Your doors are locked I have noted,
but yet I simply do not care.
You play fierce but are timid as a pussy-cat,
and soon I'll be in this cat's lair.

I'm in love with you.
Soon you'll love me too.

You Sleep so soundly my sweet- sweet one,
As I Perch above your head.
Walls cannot stop me as I come to claim you,
and I climb on in the bed.

I'm in love with you.
Soon you'll love me too.



(okay kind of creepy. my firsto submission.)

I know who you are +
the one who wants to be +
Everything he sees +
You change for anyone + But not for me +
Don’t cry for me + I know you didn’t care +
But don’t laugh at me +
I cry and I care +

How can you pretend you don’t see me +
And how can you live when you deceived me +
You lived so you could see me crying +
You say I should stop and I’m trying +

I used to know you +
I thought I used to love you +
Until your lies screamed louder than your love +
I could run away + But I know I won’t +
I’ll hold you in my arms +

If you can pretend you love me then it must be true +
A fantasy worth living if I get to be with you +
Just one more day just one more time +
Tell me you are mine...+

~Lust~

__________________
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There' s a prince evil and dark
Who wants you down
Never going up
He offers to you success in every way
But he demands from you
Your life to death
The choice is up to you
Following him or not
Also there is a chance
To defeat this prince at last
There' s a Master instead
Who is the Lord of the Universe
His Kingdom is ethernal
Without beginning neither an end
Life after death is like to be born again
Not to return to the Earth
But yes to live for ever as well
You have two choices at least
One is heaven
The other is hell
Who is the Master and Lord
That can keep you through the night and the day,
Preserving you to the end?
We don' t come here to die,
We die to born in Paradise
The condition is only one
Do you know who I' m talking about?

Maybe once my eyes have become hollow and cold,
etched into my skin like words on granite,
you’ll remember me for what I used to be.

After the sting of spite is the only thing left to cling to.
After the night I finally stop pretending.

Maybe once it has disappeared,
the final echoes reverberating weakly through the halls,
you’ll remember the sound of my laughter.

It will haunt you,
that you never had the chance to memorise its cadence.

I will haunt you,
the way I dance the line between memories and dreams.

(No, I wasn’t ever real.)

It will haunt you,
that my heartbeat was never yours to feel.

(Perhaps.)

Perhaps you’ll hear this,
(like you never heard me)
and wonder.

(Was I always this cold to touch?)

Once we are gone,
now that we wander,
I haunt you.

__________________

Lost

I lost you
You were one of the most important persons in my life
And I lost you
You were my happiness and joy
And I lost you
You were who stayed with me
And I lost you

But what happened?

You were there
When I was a child
You were there
When I was growing up
You were there
In your deadly bed
Waiting the moment
To leave

But what happened
If you were alive
With us?
Teaching us what you' ve learned

You will always be in my heart