Everytime - EvBoard

Cykotic · 04-08-2006, 04:35 AM

I wrote this song a long time ago and It's the first track I ever wrote. I had planned on recording it for my EP but have decided against it. Trust me, You haven't heard me sing!

Everytime

V1)
In the darkness all I see/Is a different kind of me
All I needed was a friend/Someone to let me know
How could you just let me die?/Fade away and cry inside
I thought that you would stay with me/Will you just let me go

CHORUS (x2)
Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd
Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be

bridge

V2)
When I bled I bled for you/I did what I had to do
No-one else will wait for me/All I know is pain
Call to me and I will know/The perfect time to let you go
When I step outside I want/to feel the falling rain

CHORUS (x2)
Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd
Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be

V3)
I wanna cut this right out/I wanna jump and scream and shout
I wanna be loved all I want/Is what I don't need
If you know me you'll know my life/full of trouble, pain and strife
I'm alone inside my mind/all I do bleed

CHORUS (x2)
Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd
Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be

FADE OUT

Any comments about the track will be taken on board. I'll tell me what to improve for the next track!

Apryl · 04-08-2006, 10:57 PM

The only suggestion I have is try to use more description... and that it sounds kind of typical emo writing with lines like "fade away and cry inside" ..There's ways to make that sound more interesting.

19_Dracena_11 · 04-09-2006, 06:42 AM

I liked it, but I do agree with Apryl about it sounding fairly emo, but I think it's a good thing.

Cykotic · 04-10-2006, 10:00 AM

Yeah, I'll admit, it does sound a bit Emo don't it!

I'm gonna be writing a new song tonight but I've got writers block!!

OdeToTheMuse · 04-15-2006, 07:08 AM

I think your stuff sounds great, I admire all people who can write lyrics..

keep it up!
<33
Claudine

proudindividual · 04-15-2006, 09:37 AM

i think this is good and has a fair bit of potential, but its not the most orginal set of lyrics ive ever read. try and think of slightly different spin on what you're trying to get across-love the style though! i dont mean to be critical i just thought id offer some friendly advise.
love
pi

FelicityS · 04-15-2006, 09:52 AM

Hey im interested to see your next peice!

Cykotic · 04-18-2006, 04:00 AM

Wow! I'm actually surprised that you guys like it! thanks for your comments and I will work on my next piece when I get the chance...

thanks

04-08-2006, 04:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
Cykotic n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a Universe of Anti-Matter Age: 24 Posts: 11 Points: 111.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 111.00 Donate	Everytime I wrote this song a long time ago and It's the first track I ever wrote. I had planned on recording it for my EP but have decided against it. Trust me, You haven't heard me sing! Everytime V1) In the darkness all I see/Is a different kind of me All I needed was a friend/Someone to let me know How could you just let me die?/Fade away and cry inside I thought that you would stay with me/Will you just let me go CHORUS (x2) Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be bridge V2) When I bled I bled for you/I did what I had to do No-one else will wait for me/All I know is pain Call to me and I will know/The perfect time to let you go When I step outside I want/to feel the falling rain CHORUS (x2) Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be V3) I wanna cut this right out/I wanna jump and scream and shout I wanna be loved all I want/Is what I don't need If you know me you'll know my life/full of trouble, pain and strife I'm alone inside my mind/all I do bleed CHORUS (x2) Everytime I cry out loud/Everytime I see that crowd Everytime I hear that sound/I feel so blessed to be FADE OUT Any comments about the track will be taken on board. I'll tell me what to improve for the next track! Last edited by Cykotic : 04-08-2006 at 04:43 AM.

04-08-2006, 10:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Apryl FROGS FTW Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Edmonton, AB. Age: 21 Posts: 3,210 Points: 256.91 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 256.92 Donate	The only suggestion I have is try to use more description... and that it sounds kind of typical emo writing with lines like "fade away and cry inside" ..There's ways to make that sound more interesting. __________________ ...i can't breathe...

04-10-2006, 10:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
Cykotic n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a Universe of Anti-Matter Age: 24 Posts: 11 Points: 111.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 111.00 Donate	thanks for the advice Yeah, I'll admit, it does sound a bit Emo don't it! I'm gonna be writing a new song tonight but I've got writers block!!

04-15-2006, 07:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
OdeToTheMuse Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: I am floatin' in serenity... Age: 18 Posts: 713 Points: 123.16 Bank: 1,210.48 Total Points: 1,333.63 Donate	I think your stuff sounds great, I admire all people who can write lyrics.. keep it up! <33 Claudine __________________ DeviantArt. FlickR. ArtThread.

04-15-2006, 09:52 AM	#7 (permalink)
FelicityS Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,403 Points: 700.64 Bank: 41.06 Total Points: 741.70 Donate	Hey im interested to see your next peice! __________________ My Space My Stuff

04-09-2006, 06:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
19_Dracena_11 n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: London. Posts: 6 Points: 100.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 100.00 Donate	I liked it, but I do agree with Apryl about it sounding fairly emo, but I think it's a good thing.

04-15-2006, 09:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
proudindividual n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Posts: 21 Points: 105.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 105.00 Donate	i think this is good and has a fair bit of potential, but its not the most orginal set of lyrics ive ever read. try and think of slightly different spin on what you're trying to get across-love the style though! i dont mean to be critical i just thought id offer some friendly advise. love pi

04-18-2006, 04:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cykotic n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a Universe of Anti-Matter Age: 24 Posts: 11 Points: 111.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 111.00 Donate	Wow! I'm actually surprised that you guys like it! thanks for your comments and I will work on my next piece when I get the chance... thanks

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