Ok here is a couple of my poems that I wrote a while ago. Please tell me if they're good or if they suck or whatever. My mom thinks that I can write, but hey, thats my mom. Btw here ya go.

*Her Perfect Suicide*

this is the story of a girl
the happiest girl in the world
always the one with a friend
the girl who would always lend a hand

the one who would dry your tears
and chase away your fears
turn your dark skies blue
when you didn't know what else to do

she'd do anything for you

but when it came to helping herself
she never knew how
she turned to razors and ropes
the only way she knew how to cope

at night she'd cry alone in her bed
remembering what everyone had said

what a happy girl you are
bright smile upon your lips
what a bright young mind you have
and gorgeous flowing blonde hair that flips

what a lie all of that is she thought my smile is a cover to hide my heartache my mind is hurting me its slowly going to rot
and my hair is the very attribute I hate the most

she never knew why she felt this way
she never understood why she always hid
all her pain hate and guilt
for her confidence maybe
she's done so well for it to be built

now she would worry no more
she dried her eyes took one deep breath
contemplating which way she'd like to go best
how should she go about her death
a rope, a gun, a knife?
all the weapons to take her life

she took one last look at the girl
everyone seemed to love as she stared into the mirror at her reflection
of deceiving perfection

feeling like she had
no more strength to go on
she reached for her knife
to finally end her painful life

in her chest the blade went
choking and coughing
on her very own blood as she fell to the ground
wishing and pleading to be found

she soon then realized what she had done
when it was all to late

what have I done?
I'm not ready to go
I still have too much to learn
I'm too young to die
please don't let me die.
why did I do this?

This is the story of a girl
that everyone thought
was the happiest girl in the world
tortured to death inside
haunted by depression in her mind
no one seemed to realize the way she felt
and now for her its too late
her life is over not able to clear the hate
this shouldn't have been her fate.

*Torturing Me*

Darkness falls upon me, revenge racing through my mind.
Screaming Crying Dying as I watch you over me
As I cry myself to sleep I feel all the pain you've put me through.
Wishing hoping dreaming that you'll just go away.
Why do you do this to me?
Constantly screaming at me, beating me, killing me.
I now look back at all my wounds, self-inflicted or from you.
I can't tell. There's to many. Please I beg you,kill me now.
End this torture you put me through.

©Angelfire

Ok thats its for today so please criticize or compliment or give me tips on writing or whatever.

__________________

~The Guitar Hero Nerd~

__________________
-Rach- ((Check out my stuff))

I really liked "her perfect suicide". I can definatly relate to it. It flowed really well and you did very well with the word choice. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read more.

Hey thanks you guys. Well heres another poem its really short but here it is.

*Untitled*
My suicide, your homicide, you drove me into this, I'm taking me out. Goodbye, I'm sorry for what you've done but I must leave you now, for I'm dying I'm crying, read my tear stained suicide note in my white room splattered with my beautiful blood, its all for you my friend cause its my world and your lie, you made me attempt the suicide...

Once again you may tell me if I need to work on something in it or if its good.

__________________

~The Guitar Hero Nerd~

__________________
-Rach- ((Check out my stuff))

hey thanks again you guys, well heres another one that I wrote last night while I was watching Ed Edd n' Eddy on Cartoon Network

*Untitled*

Oh no, its happening again
I'm trying here to mend
To only be your friend
Your pushing me away
I'm hating this day
I'm sick of the way you hate me
If only you would love me
I'm gonna make you love me
I do anything for you
You'll soon be the same
I love you my friend
And you'll love me too
I want you to love me
Please, just say you love me
Day by day, I hide my true feelings
My love for you, you'll never know
Just tell me you love me
And I'll tell you the truth
I love you my friend
Please just love me too

That poem is basically about how I love my best friend but they dont know about it, and also my friend dosent hate me

__________________

~The Guitar Hero Nerd~

__________________
-Rach- ((Check out my stuff))

__________________

That was really sad 'cause I know how you feel. I liked the word choice and it flowed pretty well too.

Thanks you guys for commenting!!

All right this one is new, i wrote it last Friday so here it is.

*Untitled*
Broken, shattered.
Everything’s gone wrong.
All my friends have left me, I’m left to die alone.
Dark room, Sharp blades.
So hard to choose just one.
I close my tear-stained eyes and grab one.
Sharp knife, warm flesh, meet one on one.
My blood, slowly dripping,
to the ice cold ground.
Puddle forming around my feet,
I’m standing in my blood.
All the things you’ve said to me,
fill up my dizzy head.
Living, breathing, it will all soon end.
Depression, haunting me, never-ending pain.
Falling, dying, in my puddle of blood.
Gone, not here, I’m not living here now.
Dead, not alive, so I’m left to be found.

__________________

~The Guitar Hero Nerd~