Rock_King

I haven't posted in awhile, but I have finally decided that I need some advice. I am currently recovering from a terrible car accident (I also severed an artery in my left leg), which has caused me to go through extensive therapy to learn to walk and balance myself again. I am unable to go to college and I missed out on my entire senior summer break. Ofcourse this has made me depressed, but what makes me confused is that I am all alone.

For some reason my friends and even my girlfriend hasn't called or visited me EVER since the accident. I feel like I'm buried in the ground and no one sees me. In fact, actually I called them and they sounded sincere on the phone, but they never physically came to help me or comfort me (especially my girlfriend, who I was VERY close with).

As I'm trying to put the pieces of my life back together, I find myself alone everyday and wondering what has happened. Why has everyone turned their back on me, when I needed them the most? I never knew people could be such assholes, until now.

I haven't called my friends or my girlfriend in over a month (and they never even tried to call/see me in the hospital either), and I have thoughts of calling my girlfriend and asking her why she never even cared about me, but I dont know if I should? What if she's moved on or something, Im really confused and I dont know what I should do now...?

Any advice is helpful
Thanks in advance,
Aaron

Snow White

Okay, Aaron. Here it is: For the most part, teenagers are totally selfish. It sounds like this just happened to you at a really bad time. Everyone's graduating, trying to be positive about their futures, ready to leave home and cut loose and to some degree, abandon responsibility. And then here you are, raining on the whole thing by needing them to forget themselves for a minute and be there for you. It makes me sick, but it makes sense- I bet if this had happened 2 years earlier or later it would have been much easier for your friends to deal with. You know what though? This is a real opportunity for you to grow. I bet that you will become a more caring person to those who need you, and I bet you will be more selective about who to rely on. You're not all alone, everyone is hurting. heh. Were all alone together. And what do you mean "now you cant go to college.."? I hope you mean you cant go right now. I mean, you can be in by second semester, right? And if not, one year. One year to do whatever you want with. Find yourself. Go on a roadtrip with an economy sized bag of chips and no plan. You can do that, you're free now. Your body will heal, and life will go on. You are so lucky to have that... better to have your so-called girlfriend turn out to be a selfish backstabber than to have her mourning at your grave, right? Keep your head up.
love, amy

Rock_King

I am actually heading back to college in January (2nd semester), I only said I couldn't attend college because I was planning to start in September with everyone else.Thank you Amy for the advice. I know I have definitley grown as a person from this experience, and I'm much wiser on how to choose my friends. Thank you so much

Aaron

LuckyStar

Eek. I'm so sorry for the accident, and equally sorry that you feel alone. I'm betting that people don't know what to say. It's probably hard for them to see you in the condition you're in. Not that that gives them an excuse for not seeing you, because it doesnt. Maybe try getting in contact with them, try to reopen some doors...?

ColdZone

Im sorry to hear that, i also think that people dont know what to say. i few yrs ago my dad was in a car accident and i suddenly found that few of my friends were calling or turning up anymore. i think they get worried that you'll breakdown on the or something! anyway, so they didnt call and i rarely see them now, but it just showed me that they cant have been that great after all, maybe they just need some time and then they'll come back to you, but if not.. they arnt worth the trouble (I know its easy to say and harder to hear).

Anyway, whose to say something good wont come out of it and you wont end up making new, better friends.

Jane

I disagree with that. Just because they've wanted to enjoy the end of their senior year and their summer before college does not give them a free pass to neglect their relationships with you for all that time and leave you out. If anything this should shed light on what kind of people you really want to get to know in college, and what kind of friends you'll want to have in the future. (Besides, if anything your friends will try and contact you to try and reopen some doors... you shouldn't have to make that effort - they're the ones that need to apologize and make up for mistakes.)

They obviously aren't real friends, and your girlfriend... that's just cruel. Not speaking to you for a month? That's not all right. You don't want that kind of person to be there with you. You'll want someone that cares for you beyond the superficialities and that will stick by your side through the good times and the bad. You're a better person without them and you've learned a lot from this experience. Look forward to college... it'll be great and you'll love it.

End.

lostfreq.

Hey Rock King,
As Amy said, a lot of teenagers are quite selfish.Some really have a hard time giving when there is no personal gain.Giving for real is a learned thing,as it's the only thing that really matters.You have learned a difficult lesson.When a tragic event occurs,you will initially be showered with sympathy and best wishes.However,as it's generally difficult for most people to find words of comfort for you,you become abandoned and feel like the leper on the street.It's not an intentional thing.How you handle it is the difficult growth curve.
You don't need people in your life that don't truly care about you.Stay tuned to the things that you feel are important ie. school, music,and surprising enough,you will find friends of quality will emerge from the least likely places.
I hope this helps a little.
Your friend,
Lostfreq.

camdbz251

Damn, man, I'm sorry. I knew teenagers could be pretty selfish (hell, I'm one myself), but not to such an atrocious extent. Once you get the chance, go to them and give them the chance to explain themselves, but I can't imagine any excuse they could give that would remove your infinite right to tell them to stick it. Just damned rude and wrong. Lives should be balanced with friends and enemies, not just assholes like this. If you're graduating soon, at least you will get a chance for a fresh start. Also, Amy is very right - become a more caring person, by remembering how you were treated at this hard time. Base actions on old experiences.

The chips thing sounds good, too.

Dexter

You'll be surprised how many loved ones can turn into assholes when it becomes inconvenient for them to bother.

People are lazy, and selfish, we have to rely on ourselves. When my grandmother became paralyzed two years ago, I just kinda stopped visiting her, it was just...boring...i mean, she's like 100 years old, and im just a kid with ties to amend and dreams to defend, I can't spend my days with her....you see?
People are people, I hope you do okay, I've been abandoned once by someone I thought loved me and would do anthing for me, im not sure if im over it, but I know i can face tomorrow without her.
goodluck

Dark Star

i dont know how much this is worth but im sorry about the accident. but it sounds like you're on the mend physically. don't let this affect your recovery tho.

its harsh that your friends aren't being very... friendly but sometimes the people around you can react just as bad to such a terrible accident as the victim. they may not know how to act around you. i know it sounds weird because you're still you. and you need to show them that. if they're not coming to see you, go to them. i dont know how close to full recovery you are, but try doing some of the things you used to do before the accident. don't push yourself too hard tho. when you're on your own and not doing anything you get really down, i know from experience. invite some friends round to watch dvds, get some food in and make a night of it. talk to them about the accident but ensure them that you will be ok.

try not to get down if this doesn't work. just think about how lucky your are to be here. you should be proud of the fact that you're recovering, i know i'm proud of you. the fact that so many people on here (including friggin amy lee!) care enough to stop and post proves that you're not invisible.

take care of yourself and keep up the good recovery!