Empathy

Seconds tick by on a broken string,
sands through the hourglass seem to stop.
Time passes in an endless discord,
life in suspension, a neverending journey.

Rock beside the road, watching life pass me by.
The hopes and dreams I had vanish with each dying day.
So much left to live for, so little in my hands,
so much left to lose.

Cruel words thrown in recurring, pointless arguments.
How quickly love can turn to bitter rage.
How long before I realize I'm worth fighting for?
How long before I burn it all away?

Why can't I make you feel
what my heart is screaming to be heard?
Why can't I make you understand
the fear inside my heart?

A strength as fragile as a spider's web,
an inner toughness as weak as a child's anger.
Too many roads to choose from,
so I'm sitting on the sidelines again.

You used to feel me in a whisper,
know the words before I spoke them.
You used to sense my presence
in a single word.

Your empathy strikes at the oddest moments.
A flash of anger, a surge of understanding.
The slight turning up of your faintest smile,
as you say everything's all right again.

The slow passage of time stops.
The second hand ceases ticking.
And everything is all right again,
if only for the moment.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

Don't mind me...I just need to write today.

Slow poisoning from the inside out,
aching pain beneath the ribs.
She's killing herself with every breath she takes,
every thought that runs through her mind.
It hurts so much she can't believe
she caused this much pain.
So many worries, all boiling down
to blessed respite, mental suicide.

Love forgotten, life forgotten.
Let us sit and analyze
the many ways she could have avoided
what's killing her today.
She could have blocked it out,
could have numbed her aching heart.
She could have run away.
Each step she took brought her closer to this,
relentless, throbbing hell.

Now nobody can save her.
She must pull herself
from the shallow depths of fear and rage,
the slow, relentless poison,
clawing at her body.
Will she ever be free again?
Does she even remember
how to fight against it?
She's been ignoring far too long.
And now it might just be too late.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Quiet soul, familiar face,
hand stroking my cheek,
brushing every tear away.
You were my sun,
the brightest star in my sky.
Everyone said I was just like you.
I was proud to be your daughter.

And then you changed.
Your rage was palpable,
painful.
You broke a plate.
You slapped my face,
burning palm print on my cheek.
Bewildered,
what has happened to her,
her that I loved so much?

The pills.
The endless sea of white pills,
placating, dissolving,
taking care of every hidden pain.
A woman devoid of emotion stares at me,
empathy gone.
Every painful memory eradicated
in a sea of small white pills.

Now it's my turn.
I fought genetics far too long.
The pills, the sea of pills
staring me in the face,
accusing, laughing,
I couldn't avoid you forever.
One pill, two pills.
And then the nightmares,
the endless waking nightmare
as I become someone I don't recognize.

Screams in the night,
clawing at my skin and hair,
death approaching on all sides,
and I can't wake myself up.
The pain of every morning,
the stupidity of being stoned,
the feeling that my body belongs to me no longer.
It's trapped inside the pill bottle.

I am just like you, Mother.
I judged you far too long.
And just like you,
I lost myself
in a sea of tiny pills,
thinner than aspirin,
smaller than my fingernail.
I'm trapped in the pill bottle with you,
and I don't think I'll make it out alive.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

My sister's going through a really rough time lately. I wrote this for her.

Little Girl Lost

The walls surrounding, closing in,
cutting off light, muting each sound.
Little girl lost in the darkness,
who is searching for you now?
How can I help you, my darling,
my poor misguided innocent?
Why are you so tormented,
so broken by the scars you bear?
How long do we have?
How much time before I lose you,
before you give in to your mind,
your pain,
desperation - the final seduction.
Each day that passes,
a little more of you slips away,
vanishing before my eyes,
pouring like water through my fingers.
Each second, you're moving further away,
and I don't know how to follow.
Don't leave me, wrteched, impotent,
screaming at the howling winds,
against a world that so beat you down,
you had no chioce but to give in.
Don't leave me.
You know I'll never leave you.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

Too Damn Much

I look into your heart and see
something so guarded,
something so precious,
I could not bear to break it.
I cannot stand to see your pain,
your tear-filled eyes searching me,
your helplessness again.
I would suffer anything to spare you,
I will keep unending silence.
I'm scared to live without you,
and scared to tell the truth.
So I will lie.
Yes, I will lie,
lie to save you,
lie because I love you too damn much.

So many days I've turned to you,
in pain you merely turned away.
Afraid to see me growing weaker,
fading with each breath I took.
You wanted to smash the wall in rage.
You couldn't fix, so you'd destroy.
I won't let it be that way.
I'd rather die than cause you pain.
I'd rather keep it all for me.
So I will lie.
Yes, always lie.
I will lie to save you.

I'll drown in lies,
and smile through my pain.
I'll keep my secret locked inside.
Anything to see you smile again.
I will lie.
Always lie.
Lie to save you.
Lie because I love you
too damn much.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?

I absolutely loved "Too Damn Much". The emotion building within your heart, and the release in your poem is just fantastic. I have no other words for you except WOW

__________________


MY MYSPACE / My Poetry / MY Story

How Do You Know

How do you know when it's time to give up?
How do you know when the last bell has tolled?
How to understand you've sung your last song,
reaped your last harvest, made your last bow?

How to give up when you're not sure if it's over,
how to throw in the towel when there's a round left to fight?
How to let go when you want to hold on?
How to acknowledge that nothing remains?

How do you look at yourself in the mirror
and admit you've been lied to forever?
How to realize you created something pretty in your mind,
and watched reality crush it to powder?

When the choices you made have harmed more than hurt,
and you don't know what paths are left bare,
how to go on with the rest of your life,
how to stop feeling, or pretend you don't care?

My body is battered, my soul torn to shreds.
Every second I slip further away.
I don't know how to make myself stop feeling the pain,
don't know where to go from here.

__________________
But I know the difference between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love?