Willows

I got this from my dad and just thought it was really funny and wanted to share enjoy

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the maintenance engineers problems encountered with the
aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The engineers
read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower
half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews
the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that engineers lack a sense of humour.
(YESSS!!)

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet/min descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

saida

ROFL those are freaking hilarious!!

The Real OC

HOLY SHIT that's some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard...specially

...nothing beats an indescriminate midget joke

BringOnTheRain

That was quite funny and entertaining. Sounds like something my dad could have written. He's an avionics engineer for FedEx. He's incredibly sarcastic. That's great though that they had a good sense of humor.

Hiro

OMG I just came unglued!!! These are my favorites.

Euge

rofl

That's funny stuff.