~Heather's Writings~ - Page 2 - EvBoard

Im_Broken · 08-17-2005, 03:49 PM

I love the new stuff that you posted, even though you said it was old. I like how you had to add certain stuff into your poems. I like that. I had to do stuff like that before. It was hard to get in, but you eventually get it. I love your wording in everything. Hope to read more soon.

LuckyStar · 08-19-2005, 11:19 PM

You were my winter
And I was your spring.
I was sunshine and rainbows
Until you took me under your dismal cloak
And hurried me away.
You gave me wings of aluminum foil
Pushing me to fly
Over rivers of jagged edges and screaming rocks.
You slit my wrists with a plastic fork
And poured wine into my veins.
Your coldness helped my heartbeat
Your ice ignited my fire.
I couldn’t get rid of you;
But then, I never tried.
I watched as my gold tarnished
And my sliver ruined.
The crown so daintily placed upon my head
Now sat crooked, in danger of falling off.
No longer was I a princess;
Instead, a corrupted whore
That people threw comments and whispers at
In the street.
I was your broken angel
Your experiment of mercy;
I was your lie, your creature
And you were my everything.
But now I wish I weren’t tainted
Or spoiled or rotten
I wish my crown could lay flat
But the bruises are still there
Blue spots on my heart
Where you’ll always live.

SoundOfSilence · 08-20-2005, 05:00 AM

wow, awesome writings. i really enjoyed reading them. post more soon

bye, nadine

Im_Broken · 08-20-2005, 11:00 PM

Wow. That was a really good poem. I like the wording that you used in it. That's one awesome poem my friend. Keep up the great work.

GirlWithAMic · 08-21-2005, 10:10 AM

I really liked that last one. Great language use, and I kind of related to it. I would suggest taking out some of the periods, though, because they make the flow kind of choppy.

Awesome piece!

LuckyStar · 08-23-2005, 08:16 PM

Ok,thanks! I appreciate your suggestion...punctuation in poetry is kinda hard for me, so I'll experiment.

~heather~

**Oceantron** · 08-25-2005, 11:55 AM

Hello LuckyStar, i just had to comment after reading your latest piece. i think it's perfect, i couldn't find anything to criticize in it ^_^. i loved your use of language, overall it's just a very inspiring poem. i could not even go picking a favorite part or line because i loved the whole thing. <3!!

LuckyStar · 08-25-2005, 04:48 PM

Aw thanks so much! It makes me really happy when people like my stuff.

~heather~

LuckyStar · 09-03-2005, 05:06 PM

Ok, I've decided to try to post some photography. I'm not a great photographer, but I do like taking pictures. And it'll give me stuff to put on here while I write.

fyi: I have to upload them onto webshots, so they seem kind of blurry. And if they're too big to upload onto here, someone just yell at me, please.

(( eiffel tower ))

(( toledo ))

ok, I'll wait for some feedback and add other stuff later maybe...
~heather~

Im_Broken · 09-04-2005, 07:31 PM

Hmmm... I can't see the pictures. They have a red X on them.

08-17-2005, 03:49 PM	#11 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	I love the new stuff that you posted, even though you said it was old. I like how you had to add certain stuff into your poems. I like that. I had to do stuff like that before. It was hard to get in, but you eventually get it. I love your wording in everything. Hope to read more soon. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

08-19-2005, 11:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
LuckyStar Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: America's Hometown. Age: 20 Posts: 1,531 Points: 9,194.99 Bank: 14,205.96 Total Points: 23,400.95 Donate	i wrote this at midnight after doing like...4 hours of chem...haha You were my winter And I was your spring. I was sunshine and rainbows Until you took me under your dismal cloak And hurried me away. You gave me wings of aluminum foil Pushing me to fly Over rivers of jagged edges and screaming rocks. You slit my wrists with a plastic fork And poured wine into my veins. Your coldness helped my heartbeat Your ice ignited my fire. I couldn’t get rid of you; But then, I never tried. I watched as my gold tarnished And my sliver ruined. The crown so daintily placed upon my head Now sat crooked, in danger of falling off. No longer was I a princess; Instead, a corrupted whore That people threw comments and whispers at In the street. I was your broken angel Your experiment of mercy; I was your lie, your creature And you were my everything. But now I wish I weren’t tainted Or spoiled or rotten I wish my crown could lay flat But the bruises are still there Blue spots on my heart Where you’ll always live.

08-20-2005, 05:00 AM	#13 (permalink)
SoundOfSilence Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Berlin, Germany Age: 17 Posts: 522 Points: 329.33 Bank: 0.42 Total Points: 329.75 Donate	wow, awesome writings. i really enjoyed reading them. post more soon bye, nadine __________________ Alessandro Del Piero is teh best guy ever.

08-20-2005, 11:00 PM	#14 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	Wow. That was a really good poem. I like the wording that you used in it. That's one awesome poem my friend. Keep up the great work. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

09-04-2005, 07:31 PM	#20 (permalink)
Im_Broken Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,397 Points: 470.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 470.00 Donate	Hmmm... I can't see the pictures. They have a red X on them. __________________ -Rach- ((Check out my stuff)) when it starts to rain break out the slip and slide

08-21-2005, 10:10 AM	#15 (permalink)
GirlWithAMic Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 763 Points: 457.27 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 457.27 Donate	I really liked that last one. Great language use, and I kind of related to it. I would suggest taking out some of the periods, though, because they make the flow kind of choppy. Awesome piece!

08-23-2005, 08:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
LuckyStar Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: America's Hometown. Age: 20 Posts: 1,531 Points: 9,194.99 Bank: 14,205.96 Total Points: 23,400.95 Donate	Ok,thanks! I appreciate your suggestion...punctuation in poetry is kinda hard for me, so I'll experiment. ~heather~

08-25-2005, 11:55 AM	#17 (permalink)
Oceantron Apocalypse Please Join Date: Jul 2003 Age: 22 Posts: 2,308 Points: 17,078.88 Bank: 259,992.66 Total Points: 277,071.54 Donate	Hello LuckyStar, i just had to comment after reading your latest piece. i think it's perfect, i couldn't find anything to criticize in it ^_^. i loved your use of language, overall it's just a very inspiring poem. i could not even go picking a favorite part or line because i loved the whole thing. <3!!

08-25-2005, 04:48 PM	#18 (permalink)
LuckyStar Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: America's Hometown. Age: 20 Posts: 1,531 Points: 9,194.99 Bank: 14,205.96 Total Points: 23,400.95 Donate	Aw thanks so much! It makes me really happy when people like my stuff. ~heather~

09-03-2005, 05:06 PM	#19 (permalink)
LuckyStar Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: America's Hometown. Age: 20 Posts: 1,531 Points: 9,194.99 Bank: 14,205.96 Total Points: 23,400.95 Donate	Ok, I've decided to try to post some photography. I'm not a great photographer, but I do like taking pictures. And it'll give me stuff to put on here while I write. fyi: I have to upload them onto webshots, so they seem kind of blurry. And if they're too big to upload onto here, someone just yell at me, please. (( eiffel tower )) (( toledo )) ok, I'll wait for some feedback and add other stuff later maybe... ~heather~

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