Her World (Nothing's Stuff) - Page 3 - EvBoard

Nothing · 01-22-2006, 01:44 PM

Today I finished two writings! WOW!

Heavens Tears
January 22, 2006

Slowly the rain starts to fall
Heaven's weeping its tears
For all its sorrow and sadness
It's grieving for humanity
And all sadness they've caused
The sky breaks loose
The tears begin to flood
Humanity loathes the rain
But heavens tears are caused by them

Fallen Angel
January 22, 2006

It seems to be somewhere at night
She's awake in the dark
She's all alone and she's scared
She can't remember anything

She doesn't know her name
Can't remember what happend
What's going to happen?
She's trapped inside her mind

Everything's so silent
Nothing seems to be humane
She notices her body is painful
A feeling she didn't know before

She stands up, and walks away
Her path seems to be a labyrinth
Once again she's trapped
She cannot find her way out

In a waterpool she sees her reflection
But she doesn't recognize herself
Who am I, she wonders
Why am I bleeding, why am I wounded

All of a sudden she remembers
The memories come back, all at once
But somehow she doesn't want to remember
She rather feels her painful body

She remembers she ended on the ground
After she was falling down
During her fall she broke her wings
And they fell off, she lost them

She remembers why she was falling
And why she reached the bottom
She remembers her name again
Her name is Fall

Violette · 01-23-2006, 08:54 AM

You're on a roll! Nice job on both poems, Nothing. Fallen Angel has an interesting story. And I really liked the idea behind Heaven's Tears. That is probably one of my favorite poems of yours so far.

Keep it up!

Leanne · 01-23-2006, 11:54 AM

Nice stuff once again, I don';t know what t say I've used up al my complements! lol

Nothing · 01-29-2006, 01:17 PM

Last Days

All hope is perished
As she lives her last days
She is afraid to die
But there's no reason to live
Maybe she needs help
She needs you to help her
So she reaches out her hand
And she’s crying for help
No one hears her screaming
No one sees her falling
She is all alone
But no one cares

She reaches out her hand
And she tries to touch you
But you're to far away
She can't reach you
She needs you so much
Without you she’s nothing
But you went away
You left her alone
She’s nothing at all
But you don't mind
She doesn't has a choice
She is left to die

Nemo · 01-29-2006, 05:07 PM

That poem probably has the most accusative conjugations ive ever seen in any type of writing. And also- your lines dont seem to end, ever. Is that part of the poem?

Nothing · 02-03-2006, 10:50 AM

Here are my two new writings. The first is about my anxiety disorder. And the second, well, I'm not sure

I think it's about my fear to be abandoned

Fear
February 2, 2006

Her hands are bound
She's captured by her fear
She cannot breathe any longer
She thinks she's dying

No one sees her pain
Even through her hands are bound
The fear is taking over
Her heart quits beating

She's afraid to die
But no one beholds
She lives her life in fear
Her hands are forever bound

Taken
February 2, 2006

You take my heart
And tear it in two
Like a piece of paper
Like I'm nothing

You throw me away
And you remove me
Removed from your life
Like I'm nothing

You take my soul
And let it burn
Like dead wood
Like I'm nothing

You abandon me
And you don't care
About my feelings
I'm nothing to you

You take my life
And you rip it apart
You've forgotten me
Like I'm dead

Nothing · 02-10-2006, 10:37 AM

My newest one. Please read and criticize.

Nameless
February 10, 2006

You turn on the music out loud
So no one hears you scream and shout
No one would hear you crying
When you wish that you were dying

And you hate your life
That is why you take the knife
And push it into your skin
Just to kill the pain within

You only want to see your blood
It feels nice to see it flood
Self-injury makes you stay
It helps you through the day

Your life is fallen apart
It truly breaks your heart
You scream out your pain
Because no one feels the same

Deep inside, your soul is torn
You wish you were never born
You can't live this life any longer
Every day the pain gets stronger

No one understands the way you feel
Everybody thinks it's so unreal
But you know the pain you feel inside
You know how many tears you cried

You cried just too many tears
And you've hidden them for years
You were only crying at night
Only you who's fighting this fight

And now you only want to bleed
Want to throw out everything you eat
You only want to cut up your skin
You just want to be thin

The tears slide along your face
You're longing for just one embrace
But no one's there, you're alone
To the world, your problem is unknown

Nobody knows what’s going on in your head
Nobody knows how many tears you shed
But you want the world to know
Everything that happened some time ago

This is why you made this choice
To let everybody hear your voice
But don’t you think this is the wrong way?
Do you really want to fade away?

You turn on the music out loud
So no one hears you scream and shout
No one would hear you crying
It hurts so much when you're dying

Violette · 02-11-2006, 07:11 PM

Yay, you've added more poems since I last visited your thread.

Although I'm so busy that I'm not even here that often, but that's another story.

You're still doing a great job, Nothing. I liked the idea of your hands being bound in "Fear". It fits the theme of the anxiety disorder. "Taken" was good, too. I especially liked the first and final stanzas.

I wish I had more time to comment, but I don't. Just keep up the good work, and I'll see you around.

Nothing · 02-25-2006, 12:46 PM

Thanks for your reply. I haven't got much time to be around. But I wrote another poem, two days ago.

Feelings
February 24, 2006

These feelings, she cannot escape
There’s no running, no place to hide
But she doesn’t want to feel this way
These feelings, she feels at this moment

She feels Sorrow,
That’s ruling and ruining her life

She feels Anger,
Because she did so many things wrong

She feels Anxious,
For everything that’s going to happen

She feels Haunted,
Because her nightmares remember her past

She feels Guilt,
For all the people she caused pain

She feels Hatred,
Because she doesn’t like who she is

She feels Solitude,
Even when she isn’t alone at that moment

She feels Misunderstood,
Because no one feels the same way

She feels Abandoned,
Because she’s left behind so many times

She feels Emptiness,
Because everything becomes too much

These feelings, she cannot escape
Even through she wants to run away
There’s no place to hide, she’s haunted
Maybe her only escape, is through death

Violette · 02-27-2006, 08:42 AM

Not bad. I don't think it's one of my favorites from your poems, but it has potential. I love how you mention all the different feelings that the girl is experiencing at one time. And the mixture of feelings is pretty realistic - you really can feel loneliness, anxiety, anger, and all those other emotions all at once. I liked how you capitalized the different feelings, too. It makes those words stand out a little more.

Just a few suggestions to help with the wording of a couple lines, if that's OK.

Quote:

She feels Haunted,
Because her nightmares remember her past

Maybe you could change this to "She feels Haunted, /Because her nightmares remind her of the past"? 'Remember' just didn't sound right when I read that line originally.

Quote:

She feels Guilt,
For all the people she caused pain

Again, it's just the wording of that second line there. Instead, maybe something like this would work: "She feels Guilt, / For all the pain she has caused people" or "She feels Guilt, / For all the people she's hurt"?

Also, in the last stanza, you could replace 'through' with 'though'. Probably just a mistype by adding in that extra 'r'.

Please don't think I'm trying to rip apart the poem. I only wanted to help. Your writing is very very good, and that's why I keep coming back.

And you don't have to make the changes I recommended. They are just suggestions, after all.

Keep it up, and I'll see you around!

01-23-2006, 08:54 AM	#22 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	You're on a roll! Nice job on both poems, Nothing. Fallen Angel has an interesting story. And I really liked the idea behind Heaven's Tears. That is probably one of my favorite poems of yours so far. Keep it up! __________________ Come join!

01-23-2006, 11:54 AM	#23 (permalink)
Leanne Gay Monkey Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: England Age: 17 Posts: 2,064 Points: 5,573.96 Bank: 160,236.86 Total Points: 165,810.82 Donate	Nice stuff once again, I don';t know what t say I've used up al my complements! lol __________________

01-29-2006, 01:17 PM	#24 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	Last Days All hope is perished As she lives her last days She is afraid to die But there's no reason to live Maybe she needs help She needs you to help her So she reaches out her hand And she’s crying for help No one hears her screaming No one sees her falling She is all alone But no one cares She reaches out her hand And she tries to touch you But you're to far away She can't reach you She needs you so much Without you she’s nothing But you went away You left her alone She’s nothing at all But you don't mind She doesn't has a choice She is left to die Last edited by Nothing : 01-30-2006 at 06:47 AM.

01-29-2006, 05:07 PM	#25 (permalink)
Nemo A votive, not in vain Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Age: 19 Posts: 2,520 Points: 4,699.81 Bank: 134.72 Total Points: 4,834.53 Donate	That poem probably has the most accusative conjugations ive ever seen in any type of writing. And also- your lines dont seem to end, ever. Is that part of the poem? __________________ ...Nietzsche is the go-to philosopher of every coffee-house pseudo-intellectual. I refuse to fall into that trap...

02-03-2006, 10:50 AM	#26 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	Here are my two new writings. The first is about my anxiety disorder. And the second, well, I'm not sure I think it's about my fear to be abandoned Fear February 2, 2006 Her hands are bound She's captured by her fear She cannot breathe any longer She thinks she's dying No one sees her pain Even through her hands are bound The fear is taking over Her heart quits beating She's afraid to die But no one beholds She lives her life in fear Her hands are forever bound Taken February 2, 2006 You take my heart And tear it in two Like a piece of paper Like I'm nothing You throw me away And you remove me Removed from your life Like I'm nothing You take my soul And let it burn Like dead wood Like I'm nothing You abandon me And you don't care About my feelings I'm nothing to you You take my life And you rip it apart You've forgotten me Like I'm dead Last edited by Nothing : 02-25-2006 at 12:49 PM.

01-22-2006, 01:44 PM	#21 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	Today I finished two writings! WOW! Heavens Tears January 22, 2006 Slowly the rain starts to fall Heaven's weeping its tears For all its sorrow and sadness It's grieving for humanity And all sadness they've caused The sky breaks loose The tears begin to flood Humanity loathes the rain But heavens tears are caused by them Fallen Angel January 22, 2006 It seems to be somewhere at night She's awake in the dark She's all alone and she's scared She can't remember anything She doesn't know her name Can't remember what happend What's going to happen? She's trapped inside her mind Everything's so silent Nothing seems to be humane She notices her body is painful A feeling she didn't know before She stands up, and walks away Her path seems to be a labyrinth Once again she's trapped She cannot find her way out In a waterpool she sees her reflection But she doesn't recognize herself Who am I, she wonders Why am I bleeding, why am I wounded All of a sudden she remembers The memories come back, all at once But somehow she doesn't want to remember She rather feels her painful body She remembers she ended on the ground After she was falling down During her fall she broke her wings And they fell off, she lost them She remembers why she was falling And why she reached the bottom She remembers her name again Her name is Fall

02-10-2006, 10:37 AM	#27 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	My newest one. Please read and criticize. Nameless February 10, 2006 You turn on the music out loud So no one hears you scream and shout No one would hear you crying When you wish that you were dying And you hate your life That is why you take the knife And push it into your skin Just to kill the pain within You only want to see your blood It feels nice to see it flood Self-injury makes you stay It helps you through the day Your life is fallen apart It truly breaks your heart You scream out your pain Because no one feels the same Deep inside, your soul is torn You wish you were never born You can't live this life any longer Every day the pain gets stronger No one understands the way you feel Everybody thinks it's so unreal But you know the pain you feel inside You know how many tears you cried You cried just too many tears And you've hidden them for years You were only crying at night Only you who's fighting this fight And now you only want to bleed Want to throw out everything you eat You only want to cut up your skin You just want to be thin The tears slide along your face You're longing for just one embrace But no one's there, you're alone To the world, your problem is unknown Nobody knows what’s going on in your head Nobody knows how many tears you shed But you want the world to know Everything that happened some time ago This is why you made this choice To let everybody hear your voice But don’t you think this is the wrong way? Do you really want to fade away? You turn on the music out loud So no one hears you scream and shout No one would hear you crying It hurts so much when you're dying

02-11-2006, 07:11 PM	#28 (permalink)
Violette Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Away from EvBoard for a while... I'll be back at some point wink Age: 24 Posts: 800 Points: 1,033.21 Bank: 793.40 Total Points: 1,826.61 Donate	Yay, you've added more poems since I last visited your thread. Although I'm so busy that I'm not even here that often, but that's another story. You're still doing a great job, Nothing. I liked the idea of your hands being bound in "Fear". It fits the theme of the anxiety disorder. "Taken" was good, too. I especially liked the first and final stanzas. I wish I had more time to comment, but I don't. Just keep up the good work, and I'll see you around. __________________ Come join!

02-25-2006, 12:46 PM	#29 (permalink)
Nothing Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Netherlands Age: 20 Posts: 27 Points: 152.81 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 152.81 Donate	Thanks for your reply. I haven't got much time to be around. But I wrote another poem, two days ago. Feelings February 24, 2006 These feelings, she cannot escape There’s no running, no place to hide But she doesn’t want to feel this way These feelings, she feels at this moment She feels Sorrow, That’s ruling and ruining her life She feels Anger, Because she did so many things wrong She feels Anxious, For everything that’s going to happen She feels Haunted, Because her nightmares remember her past She feels Guilt, For all the people she caused pain She feels Hatred, Because she doesn’t like who she is She feels Solitude, Even when she isn’t alone at that moment She feels Misunderstood, Because no one feels the same way She feels Abandoned, Because she’s left behind so many times She feels Emptiness, Because everything becomes too much These feelings, she cannot escape Even through she wants to run away There’s no place to hide, she’s haunted Maybe her only escape, is through death

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