Had to delete the chapter i had put up on here cuz it went through some major changes.

too much time wasted reading chapters on a book that i wont finish for a few more years. oh well. ITs all good.

OK so today im chillin here like always. Lazy and bored cuz i got no life. im not afraid to admit it. My family and friends tell me that i am brutally honest even when it would do me better to lie. I guess thats a good and bad thing but in the end id like to think its a good thing. anyway i have this killer tune in my head that was a warmup song that came out of nowhere so basically it was freestyle songwriting. I beleive some of the greatest stuff that comes out of bands is the songs that they all had a han in writing so its very important that band members get along and have some sort of friend ship or working relationship with other band members. Well I am gonna try to write some lyrics out on here so I can have my own little songwriting spot on the net. This is the perfect place I beleive since the rules are enforced and the moderators (Matadors...OLAYYYY!!!!!!!!) arent assholes. They do their jobs and thats what I love about them. (Yeah some brown nosin'. so what? It never hurts to be nice to people who can fuck your shit up if they wanted to. lol RESPECT) BUt since they do their job we got this kick ass environment where we can be ourselves. I love it. thanks to all who help keep this going and sorry im too poor to buy a subscription right now. (I need a job want a bitchin guitar tech anyone?)
Anyway im gonna shut the fuck up now and just write whats on my mind to a tune I made up yesterday then im gonna record. If you read this then thanks for taking the time to view the thoughts of a fat mountain man. lol
Peace
James

Title: People name these things? I can never find names so i just write. if it is a named song its usually the first thing that popped into my head that didnt sound too lame. lol and sometiems yeah its a lame title but the song might be kick ass ya never know. music is a strange thing. anyway here are the words im coming up with now. I hope yall like them.

(CHillin building)
Always I have been here waiting so kind.
Ive got myself into a brand new bind.
Living life like I should be dead and gone.
Still here and still living pass me my bong.
(Harder faster)
LiFe was so hard to live feeling like I,
Keep raging enslaving such crazy times.
Eyes I see right through thee into your mind.
Can't help it reshelf it I'll pass you on by.
(Still distorted same tempo palm crunchies)
Settle down relax dont listen to lies.
If you must, sift through the bullshit entwined.
Take a look at yourself but do not cry.
But don't forget remember you're lookin fine.
(super fucking hard)
Entering this ring of Battle but why?
Afterlife calling me it's time to fight.
The choice is yours choose now no matter what side.
Be careful how you tread once youve been denied.
(Still hard different rythym after breif bust out session)
Passage you sought from me and I did like.
HOw it felt when we would talk on those nights.
Remember dont forget how our lives.
Fell apart when you decided to go!
(Another hard ass part with some killer riffs and busting ass drums)
(Breakin it down to palm crunchies again)
Spiraling to the depths of my own mind.
Telling myself that the doors open fine.
BUt when I was inside a mess I did find.
So much chaos and destruction why?
(super hard again)
So if you ask me to touch you tonight.
I might ask you to tell me goodbye.
Waiting as always the statue at night.
Alone again no longer is this a fright.
(slamming some guitars and shit til the end)


bamabamabamabamabamabamabam!!!

Gotta love the flintstones. lol

ok so I got this song I call the rain song. Took a track that I recorded outside when it was raining. I then added some synthesizer to it and it sounded dope so I added some more synth parts and it came out all fucking crazy and monk sounding. so I loved it and made up some words in like a gregorian chant style with some heavy phasing and flanger and some echo chamber effects on the vocal. The string synth parts are high and low an octave apart and sound cool so I kept them. everything was totally freestyle and made up on the spur of the moment first take in the beginning of the song. But after it kicks into some rocking ass shit then its a little more structured and well metal style. lol I gotta make up some words though dammit. this is where it gets hard because i dont know really what the song is about so i gotta listen to it a few times and ill get it. ok here goes.......
Damn only cornyshit is coming out hold on.........
cmon gotta think rain monks mm goth? nah umm dont know. shit fuck it here goes with the first verse thatis already recorded and then ill pick it up from there.

Title:Rainy days
(Slow and monkish)
All this time I stand here alone.
Now that I can be back home(back home)
Sealing light I have been right here.
Everytime my mind is clear.
Rainy days come back on me.
Sealing my fate as I have a dream.
Rainy days might close your eyes.

Open wide seeing with new sight.
Not blind my mind is alright
Watching you not watching me.
Turn to spoon your face now I can see.
Dark it was but I had moonlight.
I let you sleep no worries that night.

Angel face placid and pristine.
Not a flaw still waters it seems.
underneath a chaotic scene.
As we slip down into her dreams.
Raging on as what she will be.
A new dawn still sleeping I see.

Day breaking my haze.
You said that I am no one ok.
Feeling you might one day awake.
Numbing cool my body still shakes.
I turned to you and said why have we,
Been at odds such fighting no need.

Gone was the love I had.
Dripping wet mournful and so sad.
Washed away with slow tides of rain.
Crippled up with a hobbling pain.
Singled out bright like a firefly.
Scream and shout out goes that light.

Rage is now my hate.
Simple days no more on my plate.
Wringing thoughts out of my head.
Dripping drops of feeling in threads

I wrote this song when i was kicking it by myself at work listening to people complaining about their scanners all day long and getting pissy with me about it. I was thinking about a girl that i missed that treated me like shit. same old story different song. you know how it is. anyway this was written back in 2002 or 2003 back when evanescence was on the daredevil soundtrack. a girl i liked at the time gave me the fallen CD and the Linkin Park Meteora CD. at first i was like what the hell is all this new stuff? It was hard to accept but i changed real fast and by the second time i had heard each album i was a fan of each band. but of course as by my presence here yall can tell I like Evanescence way more. thats a hard word to type no wonder most of you just refer to it as Ev. lol anyway check this out.

Title: AND? i dont know what to call it

And if I, felt today.
Oh yes I, would now be.
Yet the days, feel the same.
Anger plays, it's old game.
It's old game, now I stay.
Fold my hands, walk this way.
Walk this way, you might see.
Fading grey, now I see.

And if you, felt my pain.
I'll retract, what I've said.
Still your face,is so sweet.
And your heart, feels so clean.
Feels so clean, wash away.
Open arms, hold me babe.
Hold me babe, and you'll see.
That my pain, might now cease.

So still I, love this way.
Fearful pain, rejection.
Oh some days, I can be.
Over joyed, and so sweet.
Oh so sweet, no more pain.
Sweet embrace, once again.
Once now again, I feel great.
Please dont go, shy away.

So now you, feel your pain.
On your face, worn again.
Things I've said, down with shame.
Open heart, love again.
Love once again, in your eyes.
I might see, fateful pride.
Fateful pride, walk away.
Older love, free the pain.

But you left, ran away.
I was left, once again.
With the thoughts, that I had.
Oh that I had, hands and knees.
I did fall, and there weep.
Fell down to cry, out in pain.
Lost my love, once again.

I woke up one sunday and i realized that my living situation was rather lame. it was sunday and it was getting ready to rain in the spring of 2002. not sure though about the timeframe. I was living with a couple that i was really good freinds with. I was actually the reason they met each other. only problem with that was i loved her a lot. still do to this day. ive learned to deal with it but back then i wasnt so good at it. anyway a friend of hers came over and we all had a good time. but for some reason i got a bit jealous when i was the only one sleeping alone at night and those 2 girls were sleeping with my homie in his bed. go figure huh>? Guess i am the jealous type. well i got up the next morning not feeling so great and i wrote the song you see below. needless to say i was a bit angry and a bit depressed. but i changed all that shit and moved out and decided that it would be better to just stay away and live my own life ya know? lol makes good song material though. check it out.


Wake up now, on sunday, and all the skys are just so grey.
Live the life, of the man, dont look back when you can.
So forward, I'm breathing, my heart is boiling seething.
Please be calm, and be fair, my fingers through your hair.
Yes most days, I'm falling, everything's just so appalling.
So rightnow, on this day, all my thoughts are still grey.

It takes 2, to complete, the life out of sync, yet the times are still there, yes it seems so unfair.
It takes 2, for this life, there'll be no big surprise, yet theres no way to say, how we might be.
So now I, see the sun, and we could have some fun, but I know im so scared, so damn unprepared.
And yes life, is this way, hurting bad now always, so I close my eyes, yet again I'm so blind.

And this time, I'm sorry, for all the shit I could not be.
My mind is, so worried, why should I feel I need?
So graceful, so lovely, where am I when I feel ugly?
Sometimes now, I feel it, should my body throw fits.
So guarded, Unfreindly, my heart is pounding empty.
Yet still I'm, so sorry, for all the things I could not be.

It takes 2, damn your eyes, there'll be no big surprise, there'll be nothing to say, no new games we can play.
It takes 2, as I sigh, these things in my mind, keep my heart just so grey, I feel it always.
And still things, seem the same, all the darkness is lame, far away I must go, no more's my face now shown.
I just feel, so ugly, my words a simple nothing, shy away dont hug me, alone i must be.

So still life, on sundays, is a worried man who turned gray.
Live my life, as I have, I cannot be too sad.
But back then, I felt it, the jealous rage and i couldnt help it.
No more I, will still be, not that way thats not me.
So folding, my hands now, I pray to god to just please help out.
I cant bear, all this pain, so lift it off me again.

It takes 2, to be nice, could I show you the right spice, is it fair to be me, not today i do see.
It takes 2, all this life, I cannot be the strife, and I dont feel no more,l all that shit Its a bore.
I know its , not right then, as I know its still not right now, could i be so insane, I cannot answer man.
So lonely, so hateful, Id rather be just so playful, can i fold all this shit, on this paper I write it.