Hey this is a poem of mine. Let me know what you think of it. - EvBoard

broken_inside_0133 · 10-04-2007, 09:43 PM

Tell me,
Will it hurt to die?
More than it hurts me to be alive?
Because being here is killing me.
You've gone too deep and you can't see.
You tell me I need to change,
I beg to differ.
As the blade cuts across my wrist I softly whisper:
"Being happy is just a dream,
Why can't you hear me when I scream?
The pain has always been right here,
I just never thought I'd hold it so dear.
I never wanted to be an angel of death,
I never wanted to take my last breath.
But I am the girl with the broken smile,
I long to be who I was as a child."

You will never remember me,
the shadow of who I used to be.
I will always remember you,
even though you're not the person I thought I knew.

Apholos · 10-05-2007, 03:58 AM

Hey!
I think the topics of your writing are very interesting.
Keep exploring your feelings, experience what you feel: it' s one way to find resources to express yourself.
Very nice.
Keep posting!

broken_inside_0133 · 10-08-2007, 08:26 PM

thanks!!

gothic_romance · 11-06-2007, 10:39 AM

Omg, so beautiful, realy, keep writing, it's so deep.

broken_inside_0133 · 11-06-2007, 01:27 PM

thanks. here is another.

"angel of death"
Will it hurt to die?
More than it hurts me to be alive?
Because being here is killing me,
you've gone too deep and you can't see.
You tell me I need to change,
I beg to differ.
As the blade cuts across my wrist,
i softly whisper:
"Being happy is just a dream,
Why can't you hear me when I scream?
The pain has always been right here,
I just never thought I'd hold it so dear.
I never wanted to be an angel of death,
I never wanted to take my last breath.
But I am the girl with a broken smile,
I long to be who I was as a child.

You will never remeber me,
the shadow of who I used to be.
I will always remeber you,
even though your not the person I thought I knew.

Apholos · 11-07-2007, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broken_inside_0133

thanks. here is another.

"angel of death"
Will it hurt to die?
More than it hurts me to be alive?
Because being here is killing me,
you've gone too deep and you can't see.
You tell me I need to change,
I beg to differ.
As the blade cuts across my wrist,
i softly whisper:
"Being happy is just a dream,
Why can't you hear me when I scream?
The pain has always been right here,
I just never thought I'd hold it so dear.
I never wanted to be an angel of death,
I never wanted to take my last breath.
But I am the girl with a broken smile,
I long to be who I was as a child.

You will never remeber me,
the shadow of who I used to be.
I will always remeber you,
even though your not the person I thought I knew.

'Gothic': I mean this poem is... 'Gothic'.
I like it very much.
There are some images in this writing that talk directly and honestly.
Congratulations!

broken_inside_0133 · 11-15-2007, 09:35 AM

thanks. lol.

rosan · 11-23-2007, 03:51 PM

Hi, I liked a lot your poem, very dark

.. and I like very much dark things XD..But I have a big doubt.. Did you post the same poem twice isn't it? o.O I couldn't understand why did you say "here is another one" if it was the same one hehe..

I'd like to see more of your poems.. It's amazing but this kind of themes (dark, suffering, pain) are the most inspirating ones *lol*

See ya!

.-rosan

broken_inside_0133 · 10-30-2008, 04:54 PM

Waiting

Speak your words of hate.
i know its me you despise.
tell me im worthless,
as these tears fall from my eyes.
"Daddy's little girl",
thats what you always say
but when it comes to reality,
it doesn't seem that way.
Someone you can walk all over.
thats all i am to you.
you see all the cuts,
and say its something you'd never do.

a damaged heart,
a damaged soul,
i can't count everytime
you told me you were in control.
All the arguments I tried to avoid,
but always ended up broken and destroyed.
There goes another round,
I try to run but I fall to the ground,
and waiting for these wounds to heal,
is like waiting for you to remeber that I'm real.

kiki filth · 10-30-2008, 05:43 PM

Wow...I can actually relate to this one
very powerful. ur talented;]
keep up da good work sis

10-04-2007, 09:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
broken_inside_0133 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: United States Age: 17 Posts: 57 Points: 5,176.03 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,176.03 Donate	Hey this is a poem of mine. Let me know what you think of it. Tell me, Will it hurt to die? More than it hurts me to be alive? Because being here is killing me. You've gone too deep and you can't see. You tell me I need to change, I beg to differ. As the blade cuts across my wrist I softly whisper: "Being happy is just a dream, Why can't you hear me when I scream? The pain has always been right here, I just never thought I'd hold it so dear. I never wanted to be an angel of death, I never wanted to take my last breath. But I am the girl with the broken smile, I long to be who I was as a child." You will never remember me, the shadow of who I used to be. I will always remember you, even though you're not the person I thought I knew. __________________ ~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~

10-05-2007, 03:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
Apholos Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Buenos Aires Argentina Age: 33 Posts: 46 Points: 11,605.01 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 11,605.01 Donate	Hey! Hey! I think the topics of your writing are very interesting. Keep exploring your feelings, experience what you feel: it' s one way to find resources to express yourself. Very nice. Keep posting!

10-08-2007, 08:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
broken_inside_0133 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: United States Age: 17 Posts: 57 Points: 5,176.03 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,176.03 Donate	thanks!! __________________ ~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~

11-06-2007, 10:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
gothic_romance Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Slovenia Posts: 38 Points: 6,321.47 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 6,321.47 Donate	Omg, so beautiful, realy, keep writing, it's so deep. __________________ Evanescence. Burning candles are dying silently... <3

11-06-2007, 01:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
broken_inside_0133 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: United States Age: 17 Posts: 57 Points: 5,176.03 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,176.03 Donate	thanks. here is another. "angel of death" Will it hurt to die? More than it hurts me to be alive? Because being here is killing me, you've gone too deep and you can't see. You tell me I need to change, I beg to differ. As the blade cuts across my wrist, i softly whisper: "Being happy is just a dream, Why can't you hear me when I scream? The pain has always been right here, I just never thought I'd hold it so dear. I never wanted to be an angel of death, I never wanted to take my last breath. But I am the girl with a broken smile, I long to be who I was as a child. You will never remeber me, the shadow of who I used to be. I will always remeber you, even though your not the person I thought I knew. __________________ ~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~

11-15-2007, 09:35 AM	#7 (permalink)
broken_inside_0133 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: United States Age: 17 Posts: 57 Points: 5,176.03 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,176.03 Donate	thanks. lol. __________________ ~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~

11-23-2007, 03:51 PM	#8 (permalink)
rosan Proudly Bodoquian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In Bodoquia, where everything is possible!! XD Age: 24 Posts: 151 Points: 4,222.98 Bank: 17,344.94 Total Points: 21,567.92 Donate	Hi, I liked a lot your poem, very dark .. and I like very much dark things XD..But I have a big doubt.. Did you post the same poem twice isn't it? o.O I couldn't understand why did you say "here is another one" if it was the same one hehe.. I'd like to see more of your poems.. It's amazing but this kind of themes (dark, suffering, pain) are the most inspirating ones lol See ya! .-rosan __________________ 'my drops of ink' (poetry thread)(abandoned for a long time) Wanna see amazing poetry? click here! WR Bodoquia's kingdom

10-30-2008, 04:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
broken_inside_0133 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: United States Age: 17 Posts: 57 Points: 5,176.03 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,176.03 Donate	another poem of mine Waiting Speak your words of hate. i know its me you despise. tell me im worthless, as these tears fall from my eyes. "Daddy's little girl", thats what you always say but when it comes to reality, it doesn't seem that way. Someone you can walk all over. thats all i am to you. you see all the cuts, and say its something you'd never do. a damaged heart, a damaged soul, i can't count everytime you told me you were in control. All the arguments I tried to avoid, but always ended up broken and destroyed. There goes another round, I try to run but I fall to the ground, and waiting for these wounds to heal, is like waiting for you to remeber that I'm real. __________________ ~PrOmIsEs ArE LiEs~

10-30-2008, 05:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
kiki filth n00blet Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2 Points: 114.63 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 114.63 Donate	Wow...I can actually relate to this one very powerful. ur talented;] keep up da good work sis

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