I don't deserve it! - EvBoard

bessy · 10-12-2008, 01:00 PM

Hey,guys! I have a serious problem! I am in love with a guy,but he can't understand me! He says that he loves me and he wants to have sax with and we are only one month together! I don't want to have sax yet! I don't feel ready! Is it bad? He is not sure about us! He wants me and at he same time he doesn't! That's unfair! HE SAYS,YOU KNOW,ALL THESE THINGS! That we will be together forever,that i am under his skin,that he is mad about me etc!

I really don't know what to do!

Thank you in advance!

**buffyfan** · 10-12-2008, 02:56 PM

Your the only one that can make the choice. If you do not want to then don't. He's going to try all sorts of things to get you into bed but if your not ready then your not ready and if he really loves you he would not push the subject

KalinNichole · 10-12-2008, 03:09 PM

Make him prove it.

When my boyfriend and I got together, there was definitely some bottled passion on both sides. I was a virgin when we started dating at 16. And I told him that I wanted to wait a year before we had sex, so that I could make sure we really cared about eachother. on our 1 year anniversary, I think he had honestly forgot about our deal. We had sex for the first time that night and it was beautiful. We are now going on 3 years together and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me for who I am and if my vagina disappeared tomorrow, he would still love me. (that was weird but I just woke up sorry)

Don't rush sex if you want a relationship with this guy. If he really cares about you like he says, he will wait until you are ready.

**TheLady** · 10-12-2008, 08:13 PM

If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Plain and simple.

Tell him that if he loves and respects you that he will stop pressuring you and wait until you are ready. If he cannot understand that, then he doesn't love and respect you and just wants to get you into bed.

Shivercide · 10-12-2008, 09:11 PM

He says he loves you but then gets angry at you for not having sex with him?

Yeah, um. I'd leave. But that's me.

Sweet Tigger · 10-12-2008, 10:56 PM

IMO, if he really loved, and cared about you, he would Respect that
you are not ready for that moment yet.
Reguardless of what he, or anyone one else says, that is a huge step, and
if he can't honor you, and what you feel....I would get rid of him.
All I see, is a typical guy, that all he wants is to get in your pants, and
will say anything that you want to hear, just to do so.
You are someone, you are special, and deserve to be treated like a true
person, and with love and respect.
<3

Princess Mary · 10-13-2008, 12:04 AM

It is admirable that you have not had sex with this guy just because he has made you feel bad. It is not a bad thing to hold off. As you say you have only been dating a month, which IMO is waaaay too soon to be even thinking about having sex! A month is not enough time to establish whether or not this relationship will last the distance, so I think you are good to wait.

Why would you feel bad about not being ready for sex? There is nothing wrong with that, it is important you do it when you feel ready so it is the right decision. You dont want to rush into it when you are not ready, and do not do it just because your boyfriend expects that it will happen.
Explain to him you are not ready, and if he genuially loves you, he will be more than willing to wait for you.

music box · 10-15-2008, 01:54 PM

Just a repeat of what everyone else has said. In Kalin's words, "Make him prove it." A relationship is not about sex and only sex, unless it's a sex based relationship. If you want more than that from your relationship, then talk to him about it, ask him to wait if you're not comfortable going that far yet. Sex is a big deal for some people. It's personal. Sex is one of the most amazing gifts that the human race has. It's powerful, satisfying, amazing, but it carries a great responsibility. It also carries great consequences. If you're not ready to tread those waters yet, you shouldn't have to.
Say no if that's what you want, and if he can't understand that NO means NO, then leave his ass, because he doesn't care about your heart or your well being. He's in the relationship for one thing. But if he really wants to be with you for you, then sex will come on it's own time, when you're both comfortable and ready.
Keep your heart on guard and don't just give it up for some dumb guy who in reality might not give a damn. You'll regret it later. Good luck, and we at evboard are always here for you. <3

bessy · 10-16-2008, 04:56 AM

Thank you very much,guys! You really helped me!

Rev · 10-28-2008, 05:57 AM

the solution lies not not with you, but with him. obviously he did something wrong (or should i say he didn't do it right) when you're not ready. so he would be the one needing advice.

but since i can only reach you, all i can say is that you should make your point towards him but at the same time also make sure he knows that you like him. otherwise the poor guy could feel rejected.

10-12-2008, 01:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
bessy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Greece Age: 20 Posts: 95 Points: 10,388.20 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,388.20 Donate	I don't deserve it! Hey,guys! I have a serious problem! I am in love with a guy,but he can't understand me! He says that he loves me and he wants to have sax with and we are only one month together! I don't want to have sax yet! I don't feel ready! Is it bad? He is not sure about us! He wants me and at he same time he doesn't! That's unfair! HE SAYS,YOU KNOW,ALL THESE THINGS! That we will be together forever,that i am under his skin,that he is mad about me etc! I really don't know what to do! Thank you in advance! __________________

10-12-2008, 02:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
buffyfan But I like teh coookie :p Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: St. Cath, Ontario Age: 31 Posts: 925 Points: 31,253.90 Bank: 679,826.71 Total Points: 711,080.61 Donate	Your the only one that can make the choice. If you do not want to then don't. He's going to try all sorts of things to get you into bed but if your not ready then your not ready and if he really loves you he would not push the subject __________________

10-12-2008, 03:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
KalinNichole Cherry Pie! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Knoxville, TN Age: 19 Posts: 291 Points: 3,556.75 Bank: 1.08 Total Points: 3,557.83 Donate	Make him prove it. When my boyfriend and I got together, there was definitely some bottled passion on both sides. I was a virgin when we started dating at 16. And I told him that I wanted to wait a year before we had sex, so that I could make sure we really cared about eachother. on our 1 year anniversary, I think he had honestly forgot about our deal. We had sex for the first time that night and it was beautiful. We are now going on 3 years together and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me for who I am and if my vagina disappeared tomorrow, he would still love me. (that was weird but I just woke up sorry) Don't rush sex if you want a relationship with this guy. If he really cares about you like he says, he will wait until you are ready. __________________

10-12-2008, 08:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
TheLady Debate Forum's Head Bitch Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Axe-Murderering everyone in The Underground! Age: 28 Posts: 3,208 Points: 8,271.52 Bank: 5,529,221.65 Total Points: 5,537,493.17 Donate	If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Plain and simple. Tell him that if he loves and respects you that he will stop pressuring you and wait until you are ready. If he cannot understand that, then he doesn't love and respect you and just wants to get you into bed. __________________

10-12-2008, 10:56 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sweet Tigger Nothing Brings Me Down Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Over The Rainbow Age: 31 Posts: 2,856 Points: 8,097.95 Bank: 194,854.02 Total Points: 202,951.97 Donate $PIE. \m/ Heh, you're awesome. :D - CrownlessAgain$	IMO, if he really loved, and cared about you, he would Respect that you are not ready for that moment yet. Reguardless of what he, or anyone one else says, that is a huge step, and if he can't honor you, and what you feel....I would get rid of him. All I see, is a typical guy, that all he wants is to get in your pants, and will say anything that you want to hear, just to do so. You are someone, you are special, and deserve to be treated like a true person, and with love and respect. <3 __________________ Always Live Life To The Fullest, And Never Take Anything For Granted!

10-13-2008, 12:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
Princess Mary Mastah debatah! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Pleasuring Tarja Under The Bedsheets And Watching Her Toes Curl Age: 25 Posts: 4,150 Points: 461.31 Bank: 625,687.06 Total Points: 626,148.37 Donate	It is admirable that you have not had sex with this guy just because he has made you feel bad. It is not a bad thing to hold off. As you say you have only been dating a month, which IMO is waaaay too soon to be even thinking about having sex! A month is not enough time to establish whether or not this relationship will last the distance, so I think you are good to wait. Why would you feel bad about not being ready for sex? There is nothing wrong with that, it is important you do it when you feel ready so it is the right decision. You dont want to rush into it when you are not ready, and do not do it just because your boyfriend expects that it will happen. Explain to him you are not ready, and if he genuially loves you, he will be more than willing to wait for you. __________________ Made by "Sirens Melody"

10-15-2008, 01:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
music box I make GIDDY look COOL. Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Part time in Hell. Part time in your pants. Age: 20 Posts: 1,049 Points: 310,600.24 Bank: 6.08 Total Points: 310,606.32 Donate	Just a repeat of what everyone else has said. In Kalin's words, "Make him prove it." A relationship is not about sex and only sex, unless it's a sex based relationship. If you want more than that from your relationship, then talk to him about it, ask him to wait if you're not comfortable going that far yet. Sex is a big deal for some people. It's personal. Sex is one of the most amazing gifts that the human race has. It's powerful, satisfying, amazing, but it carries a great responsibility. It also carries great consequences. If you're not ready to tread those waters yet, you shouldn't have to. Say no if that's what you want, and if he can't understand that NO means NO, then leave his ass, because he doesn't care about your heart or your well being. He's in the relationship for one thing. But if he really wants to be with you for you, then sex will come on it's own time, when you're both comfortable and ready. Keep your heart on guard and don't just give it up for some dumb guy who in reality might not give a damn. You'll regret it later. Good luck, and we at evboard are always here for you. <3 __________________ Be my friend. Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me. I am small, I'm needy. Warm me up, and breathe me.

10-16-2008, 04:56 AM	#9 (permalink)
bessy Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Greece Age: 20 Posts: 95 Points: 10,388.20 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,388.20 Donate	Thank you very much,guys! You really helped me! __________________

10-28-2008, 05:57 AM	#10 (permalink)
Rev Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Vienna Age: 25 Posts: 44 Points: 1,146.97 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,146.97 Donate	the solution lies not not with you, but with him. obviously he did something wrong (or should i say he didn't do it right) when you're not ready. so he would be the one needing advice. but since i can only reach you, all i can say is that you should make your point towards him but at the same time also make sure he knows that you like him. otherwise the poor guy could feel rejected. __________________ 'Did you know that there is more than one infinity?'

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