Jokes - Page 3 - EvBoard

Princess_Diane · 03-17-2004, 12:47 PM

knock knock.

whos there?

Big ish

Big ish who?

No not today thanks!

Lunachicks · 03-17-2004, 02:07 PM

Here goes a few ones:

If the walls could talk, what would they say?
"Stop staring at me, and get a job!"

Why does Mike Tyson cry after every time he has sex?
Because of the pepper spray.

Different position tonight?
HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Social Security Sex
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
"Your honor"

cruithne · 03-17-2004, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evanesence_rock

knock knock.

whos there?

Big ish

Big ish who?

No not today thanks!

umm...maybe I'm slow, but I didn't get it.

Fallen Angel 66 · 03-17-2004, 03:07 PM

Ok these are bad but...

Why did the gypsy walk funny?
Because he had crystal balls.

What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor?
One sells watches and the other watches cells

What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
Their personalities.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you a little to young for this site?

They're bad...

Princess_Diane · 03-17-2004, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cruithne

umm...maybe I'm slow, but I didn't get it.

maybe i should have explained myself! but anyway in the shopping centre in the UK there are always people on the streets asking people to buy the 'big issue' its a magazine! (now read the joke again!!)

Doom · 03-18-2004, 03:52 AM

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says "Can I have a pint and a mop?"

A Panda walks into a bar and says "............................................. Can I have a pint?" The barman replies "Why the big pause?"

Just realised, they're not funny

hotpuertoricanluvs69 · 03-18-2004, 03:57 AM

um can we get some jokes that will make me laugh? just a ? any will stand up to this?

Seneca · 03-18-2004, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crusader

Post your jokes here

Here is one i stole earlier:

Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!" Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her "Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!" Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her "Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!". "Oh no you don't", yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, "You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"

I can't listen to or read any kind of Red Riding Hood story without thinking of Bill Hicks' Goatboy routine.

brokenXdreams · 03-18-2004, 03:59 PM

I redneck walks into a bar. He's sitting there when he sees a lady choking on something, so he goes over to see if he can be of any assistance.

"Can ye breeeathe?" he asked

She started to turn blue and shook her head.

"Can ye swaallow?"

Again she shook her head, turning an even darker shade.

At this, the redneck went behind her, pull down her pants and licked her ass. She started going into spasms of shock and coughed up the food.

Pleased with himself, the reckneck said "I've herd of the hind-lick manuvuer, but I've never seen it done!"

kreisi_gurl · 03-18-2004, 04:16 PM

here´s my pathetic joke lol okay...what´s brown and jumps off cliffs?a mad poo ..........don´t hit me.

03-17-2004, 12:47 PM	#21 (permalink)
Princess_Diane Post Monkey Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: UK Age: 23 Posts: 2,201 Points: 11,866.33 Bank: 8,494.95 Total Points: 20,361.28 Donate	knock knock. whos there? Big ish Big ish who? No not today thanks! __________________ "The woman has balls"

03-18-2004, 03:57 AM	#27 (permalink)
hotpuertoricanluvs69 n00blet Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: chicago Age: 22 Posts: 4 Points: 100.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 100.00 Donate	just a ? um can we get some jokes that will make me laugh? just a ? any will stand up to this?

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03-17-2004, 02:07 PM	#22 (permalink)
Lunachicks Member of the Banned PERMA BANNED Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10 Points: 100.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 100.00 Donate	Here goes a few ones: If the walls could talk, what would they say? "Stop staring at me, and get a job!" Why does Mike Tyson cry after every time he has sex? Because of the pepper spray. Different position tonight? HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight? WIFE: That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. Social Security Sex Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? "Your honor"

03-17-2004, 03:07 PM	#24 (permalink)
Fallen Angel 66 n00blet Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Where The Wind Takes Me Posts: 7 Points: 111.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 111.00 Donate	Ok these are bad but... Why did the gypsy walk funny? Because he had crystal balls. What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor? One sells watches and the other watches cells What do lawyers use as contraceptives? Their personalities. Knock, knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you a little to young for this site? They're bad...

03-18-2004, 03:52 AM	#26 (permalink)
Doom Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 186 Points: 500.00 Bank: 622.20 Total Points: 1,122.20 Donate	A Skeleton walks into a bar and says "Can I have a pint and a mop?" A Panda walks into a bar and says "............................................. Can I have a pint?" The barman replies "Why the big pause?" Just realised, they're not funny

03-18-2004, 03:59 PM	#29 (permalink)
brokenXdreams Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: O,hi!..o Age: 19 Posts: 30 Points: 388.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 388.00 Donate	I redneck walks into a bar. He's sitting there when he sees a lady choking on something, so he goes over to see if he can be of any assistance. "Can ye breeeathe?" he asked She started to turn blue and shook her head. "Can ye swaallow?" Again she shook her head, turning an even darker shade. At this, the redneck went behind her, pull down her pants and licked her ass. She started going into spasms of shock and coughed up the food. Pleased with himself, the reckneck said "I've herd of the hind-lick manuvuer, but I've never seen it done!"

03-18-2004, 04:16 PM	#30 (permalink)
kreisi_gurl Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In a candy cloud Posts: 123 Points: 101.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 101.00 Donate	here´s my pathetic joke lol okay...what´s brown and jumps off cliffs?a mad poo ..........don´t hit me.

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