my aunt sent me this joke today. it's not like super funny or anything but it made me smile.

"Starbucks announced today that all newly hired employees will be required to go through 32 hours of training. The first hour of training will be on how to make coffee. The remaining 31 hours will be on how to charge $4 for a cup of coffee with a straight face."

Hey I think Starbucks coffee is worth it...oh well.

And my little 10 yr old cousin told me this joke and I was awed by her wit and cuteness (hey I'm biased). Here's how the convo went:

"Will you remember me in a minute?" (I said yes, of course)
"Will you remember me in an hour?" (yes)
"Will you remember me in a day?" (yes....*I'm wondering where this is going*)
"Will you remember me in a month?" (yes...)
"Knock Knock.." (I say "Who's there?")
*she, with a hurt voice* "You don't remember me?"

Too cute huh?

Now this is a funny one...

What is the difference bw Willy the killer whale and michael jackson??
One is black and white and encourages little boys to touch his blowhole.. the other one.. well its a whale!!

Sorry i laughed so hard when i read that in Maxim I snorted!!

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Space for rent!

hehehe!!!
::SickTwistedLaugh::

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a duck walks into a bar and asks the barman "can i have a beer and a cheese sandwitch please?" and the barman says "i can give you a beer but we don't do cheese sandwitches." so the duck sits down, has its beer and 10 minutes later goes back to the barman and asks "can i have a beer and a cheese sandwitch please?" to this, the barman replied "i already told you, we don't do cheese sandwitches, but here is your beer." so the duck sits down, as its beer and 10 minutes later it goes back to the barman and asks "can i have a beer and a cheese sandwitch please?" and the barman says "here's your beer, but if you ask for a cheese sandwitch 1 more time, i'll nail your beak to the bar." so the duck sits down, has its beer and goes back to the barman who says "what do you want?" the duck asks "do you have any nails?" the barman replys "no." then, the duck says "then i'll have a cheese sandwitch and a beer please!"

Where the hell are all the dead baby jokes?

Ralph Nader, George W. Bush, and myself are walking through the winderness. We come across an ancient lamp and all grab it. A genie pops out and says that since we all rubbed the lamp, all three of us will get one wish. Nader goes first. He says "I want to be the next president of the US." The genie grants his wish. Next Dubya goes. He says "Well if he has the US, then I want my own country with nothing but republicans. I want to be the president. I want a wall around our country that is 15 feet high and sealed off so it won't let any terrorist or liberals in." The genie grants his wish. Finally it is my turn. I asked the genie "So that wall won't let anything in or out ?" The genie says yes, to which I reply, "Fill it with water."

Ok not that funny as a joke, but funny to think of all the 'publicans drowning.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To Get to the other side!!

lol i used to laugh my ass off at that when i was younger how sad was i!!

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"The woman has balls"

I luv redneck jokes:
You know yor a Redneck when:
- you haft to take the transmission out of the bathtub to take a bath.
- when u and your son walk to school together, because your in the same grade.
- When u hear "say no to crack"...and it reminds you pull up your pants
- when u go to family reunions to pick up on girls.
- when u haft to move the refrig to mow the lawn
- when u haft to take the bathroom door of it's hinges to watch TV
- when your mom can cuss out a state trooper for being pulled over, while smoking a cigarette and not droping any ashes on her lap

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Nowhere is the dreamer so alone......NEP

-Knock knock!

who's there?

-interrupting cow.

interrupting co-

-MOO!



What do you get when you cross an athiest with a Jehovah's Witness?
-someone who rings your doorbell for no reason.



What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
-*shrug* elefino!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a desert island. One day, they find an old bottle, and after rubbing it, they find a genie. The genie agrees to give thmem each on wish,. The Redhead goes first, "I want to be at home with 2 billion dollars." POOF! She disappeared. Next the brunette goes, "I want to be at home, with 60 billion dollars." POOF! she disappeared too. Next the Blonde thinks, and looking at the genie she says, "gee, I sure do miss the girls. I wish they were back."