Just Friends - EvBoard

TearsLftUndried · 05-01-2006, 04:30 PM

I can't help but feel this way,
Deep inside my heart.
This love for you is overflowing,
And it's ripping me apart.

If only I could tell you.
If only I wasn't so shy.
I'd stand right in front of you,
And look you in the eye.

I'd tell you that I loved you.
I'd tell you that I care.
I'd tell you that no matter what,
I would always be there.

I'm too afraid of this mess I have made,
To get my heart broken again.
But until that day when I am brave,
I guess we'll remain just friends.

Vallarri · 05-01-2006, 06:05 PM

Good rhyming and flow. Sad story, too. Can't wait to see more!

GirlWithAMic · 05-05-2006, 06:17 PM

I like the topic, and I could relate, but the rhyme scheme got cliche and predictable after a bit. Try to be more original in your choice of words. But I think you have a good start here and I'd like to see more!

05-01-2006, 04:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
TearsLftUndried n00blet Join Date: Apr 2006 Age: 17 Posts: 2 Points: 102.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 102.00 Donate	Just Friends I can't help but feel this way, Deep inside my heart. This love for you is overflowing, And it's ripping me apart. If only I could tell you. If only I wasn't so shy. I'd stand right in front of you, And look you in the eye. I'd tell you that I loved you. I'd tell you that I care. I'd tell you that no matter what, I would always be there. I'm too afraid of this mess I have made, To get my heart broken again. But until that day when I am brave, I guess we'll remain just friends.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

05-01-2006, 06:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Vallarri Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: More cool than you can shake a stick at Posts: 158 Points: 81.77 Bank: 49.55 Total Points: 131.32 Donate	Good rhyming and flow. Sad story, too. Can't wait to see more!

05-05-2006, 06:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
GirlWithAMic Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 763 Points: 457.27 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 457.27 Donate	I like the topic, and I could relate, but the rhyme scheme got cliche and predictable after a bit. Try to be more original in your choice of words. But I think you have a good start here and I'd like to see more!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)