let me break now
scream and shake
til nothing I say makes sense

let me know now
why you lied the first time you said you loved me
cause I dont understand

let me feel now
the full weight of the pain
because at least i'd outweigh the sorrow

let me cry now
enough tears to drown you in
so I wont have to hear you

let me see now
how exactly you can feel justified
while spitting in my face

let me learn now
that its basically pointless
to need you anymore

let me hope now
that you might come to know
that you're the one that destroyed my soul

let me die now
so I can forget this ever happened
so it all goes away

oh great poem... so much sadness put to make such a beauty great job!

__________________

Thank you, and yes I will try and post some more.

cool! I can't wait!

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Your poem is beautiful. I like the vivid imagery...it's a great idea to post one's poetry on this site...can this thread be used to post one's poetry or should a new thread be started?

But to get back to your poem, I really, really like it! I love the use of now and know and how you begin every stanza with "let me", which signals that you have to say something.

Hmmm...did you write it as a villanelle? I think your poem comes close to being a villanelle...if you want to read a great villanelle poem read 'One Art' by Elizabeth Bishop...it's an amazing poem!!! Here's a link to the poem:
http://plagiarist.com/poetry/?wid=57

Are you studying literary studies, or is it a hobby? Because you're really good at it.

Meme

To answer you question it is a hobby,my favorite hobby.

I am working on some more poetry to post here, until then ill just post a fairly old poem.

the old poem:


I know

How are you still alive
with all the pain that he made you endure
and all the tears he made you cry
laughing as you sobbed

I know
you feel trapped
in your own mind
wanting to run from your memories

How could he do this
he may be dead
but when he died
it was your blood on his hands

I know at night
you dream violent dreams
of all the things he had done
and what he would've done if...

I know how you wake up
with tear stained pillows
and thoughts of suicide
wanting to never sleep again

I know how you wish
you could just die so you'd
never have to dream again
never have to think again

I know that when your alone
you still see him standing over you
yelling curses at you
saying things you can't ignore

I know that you hope
that soon he will
be a forgotten memory
but you know deep down that will never happen

and I know
that nothing can save you now
as he slowly takes over your mind
and steals you from yourself

Just wrote this one:



Knocked down
gravity taking over
falling to the floor

blood begins to surround you
you scream in pain
only no one can hear you

you try and move
trying to crawl
but you don't stand a chance

breathing hard
scared and scarred
not knowing what comes next

and then you hear it
footsteps
walking at first then running fast

you look up to see
him panting a horrible look upon his face
as he looks down at you

you smile up at him
you got the reaction you wanted
but at the same time you realize you took it too far this time

your smile starts to fade
as you slip into unconsciousness
and slowly begin to die

he kneels by her body
knowing that it wasn't supposed to end this way
a death due to a prank that went too far

(its official it does suck)