littleleena's stuff - Page 2 - EvBoard

VEXED0130 · 07-25-2004, 02:37 PM

Everytime I close my eyes,your
Face appears and teardorps sting,
Escaping my eyes
Streaming down my already tearstained face

i LOVE that part. It has a good flow...........

Nameless · 08-03-2004, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleleena

This is Only half done Comments for it so far would be good:

Fallen Tears do not erase the pain
it hides away deep inside of me
Waiting to break free, waiting to scream
Lost inside my nightmare
Trapped inside myself
Calling your name to Come and save me

Emotions run freely
Why i don't let them go when i'm awake i do not know?

Trapped behind the Wall I made for myself
These memories will never fade
I smile brightly on the outside
And inside i'm screaming to myself
longing to die, free of pain

Frightning Images
Painful memories trapped inside me
Darkness waiting for the light
Fighting to be free, Defining memories
This Is my life can it really be?

Please honest comments only Thanks ^Jus^

I really like the content here. The only thing I think it needs is just a little edit to make it easier to read. Maybe you should try this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleleena

Emotions run freely
Why i don't let them go?
When i'm awake i do not know

And that last line feels a little awkward. I don't really know what to suggest; it's your song. Maybe:

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleleena

This Is my life
Can it really be?

I really liked the song though. This was my favorite part:

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleleena

Frightning Images
Painful memories trapped inside me
Darkness waiting for the light
Fighting to be free, Defining memories

Hopefully this helps a little . . .

LeComptIsAwesum · 08-03-2004, 01:59 PM

Those are really good songs.

**littleleena** · 10-09-2004, 09:55 AM

OK here goes!!:

Don't Save Me Now!!
(J.Mifsud)

Falling into Shadows
I wait to be saved.
By my knight in shining armour
Trapped in the darkness
Waiting For Light
Hoping That One Day
You Just Might
Save me!!

Now it’s to Late
You never Came ,
I Never walked away
Unscathed

Don't Save Me Now
Don't Save Me Now
You didn't care before
Why Now?
Why Now?
Do You care after all??

Thinking it over now
I shouldn't have asked you
I know, my love was wasted
On You
Wasted On you

Don't Save Me Now
Don't Save Me Now
You didn't care before
Why Now?
Why Now?
Do You Care After All??

You love me now
You love me now
I don't care what you say or do
I Hate You Now
I Hate You Now

Don't Save Me Now
Don't Save Me Now
You didn't care before
Why Now?
Why Now?
Do You Care After All??

Don't Save Me Now
My Love Was Wasted on You
Don't Save Me Now
I don't want you Anymore

Don't Save Me Now
Don't Save Me Now
You didn't care before
Why Now?
Why Now?
Why Now?
Don't Save Me Now!

Be Honest i like Critisim it helps me to improve

**littleleena** · 08-18-2005, 04:57 AM

Hey Here is recently written one? Please read and comment.

When

Goodbye to you Goodbye
I know I should be sad for you
But I can't hide what I need to say
You deserved to go....

Evil like you
Should never have even been born
I need you to say
Here I am
Punish me

When death becomes him
I'll become alive
The thorn in my side
The one that I tried to hide from
Won't ever go away

Dear god don't hate me
I tried to forget
But he just hurt me
Over and Over

I asked him to go away
To leave me alone
I just need you to say
Here I am
Punish me

When death becomes him
I'll become alive
The thorn in my side
The one that I tried to hide from
Won't ever go away

You have no idea
The pain that he caused me
I can't pretend anymore
That you didn't hurt me

Here I Am
Punish Me

When death becomes him
I'll become alive
The thorn in my side
The one that I tried to hide from
Won't ever go away

When death becomes him
I'll become alive
The thorn in my side
The one that I tried to hide from
Won't ever go away

When death becomes him
I'll become alive

Frozen · 08-18-2005, 05:19 AM

There are some very good songs here!!!
I really like your newer stuff!!
Good work,keep up

!!

**littleleena** · 08-18-2005, 07:39 AM

Ok one more for now.... this is another newbie. i don't think i need to say what it is about...... Ok Here is is

Learning To Cry

The Anger you’d hidden from me
Was suddenly free It was just a fight
Then you snapped and sent me flying
I hit the wall, I fall to floor
With the sound of laughter ringing in my ears

Now I’m lying on floor
Feeling tired, I’m alone and all I hear is your breathing
Your face appears, that evil smile
Tears come to eyes, you stifle my cries,
I await your final descent

No one’s here to save me
No one’s here to hear my cries
I wonder why you chose me
You took my soul and so much more
I learned to cry that day.

Leave me alone stop playing around
Don’t pretend your not messing with my head
I can see it in your smile
Don’t pretend nothing’s happened
Just stop smiling it’s just not fair
I don’t deserve this?

When you’re through
I try to move you hold me down
Smile at me, leaned to me you say
Never tell a soul a secret this will stay
I lie alone, crying for innocence lost

No one’s here to save me
No one’s here to hear my cries
I wonder why you chose me
You took my soul and so much more
I learned to cry that day.

The side of you I never saw coming
Has trapped me here, hiding my secret torture
I’ve lost my soul, my innocence, why not my life
I’ll tell you know you’ll see,
You won’t be the death of me

No one was there to save me
No one heard my cries
I now know why you chose me
I was weak at the time
You robbed me of my soul
My innocence lost

I will not back down this time
I learned to cry that day x2

I Learned to Cry That Day.

Thanks.... please comment and if you have a negative comment then
please just say it i like critizim and i won't take any of it to heart but instead I'll learn from it and hopefully improve ..

Jus

**littleleena** · 09-12-2005, 08:15 AM

If you want to see random writing they'll be on myspace. I'll post fully done ones here. Thanks

Josi · 09-12-2005, 11:03 AM

Here's a song I wrote for a friend.

The angel dressed in black

People are happy, strong and nice,
but who has made them so alive?
Who has saved them from the evil,
who has made their wishes true,
who could make them so lucky?

The angel dressed in black,
always looking back and looking forward,
helping everyone,
unimportant who hard
to help is.

Everyone was sad, but now it isn’t bad,
someone helped them made them strong,
but no one knows who was the one.
Always making people lucky,
now I know who was the one.

The angel dressed in black,
always looking back and looking forward,
helping everyone,
unimportant who hard
to help is.

Ever since I know the world
someone helped me out of evil powers
and looked at me,
now I know who was that one.
Angel dressed in black thanks for all.

The angel dressed in black,
always looking back and looking forward,
helping everyone,
unimportant who hard
to help is.

By Josi

**littleleena** · 09-13-2005, 06:17 AM

Wow that's good.... You are a good writer. it's horrible that sadness inspires people to write, i wish for a change i could write about Happy things you know like clowns....lol

07-25-2004, 02:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
VEXED0130 Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: AZUSA, SO CAL Age: 21 Posts: 275 Points: 2,012.83 Bank: 5,502.43 Total Points: 7,515.26 Donate	Everytime I close my eyes,your Face appears and teardorps sting, Escaping my eyes Streaming down my already tearstained face i LOVE that part. It has a good flow........... __________________

08-03-2004, 01:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
LeComptIsAwesum Not Allowed to Use the Store Anymore Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A Small Town with Big Drama Age: 18 Posts: 553 Points: 371.44 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 371.44 Donate	Those are really good songs. __________________

10-09-2004, 09:55 AM	#14 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	Another Song!! OK here goes!!: Don't Save Me Now!! (J.Mifsud) Falling into Shadows I wait to be saved. By my knight in shining armour Trapped in the darkness Waiting For Light Hoping That One Day You Just Might Save me!! Now it’s to Late You never Came , I Never walked away Unscathed Don't Save Me Now Don't Save Me Now You didn't care before Why Now? Why Now? Do You care after all?? Thinking it over now I shouldn't have asked you I know, my love was wasted On You Wasted On you Don't Save Me Now Don't Save Me Now You didn't care before Why Now? Why Now? Do You Care After All?? You love me now You love me now I don't care what you say or do I Hate You Now I Hate You Now Don't Save Me Now Don't Save Me Now You didn't care before Why Now? Why Now? Do You Care After All?? Don't Save Me Now My Love Was Wasted on You Don't Save Me Now I don't want you Anymore Don't Save Me Now Don't Save Me Now You didn't care before Why Now? Why Now? Why Now? Don't Save Me Now! Be Honest i like Critisim it helps me to improve Last edited by littleleena : 10-07-2005 at 02:28 AM.

08-18-2005, 04:57 AM	#15 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	Hey Here is recently written one? Please read and comment. When Goodbye to you Goodbye I know I should be sad for you But I can't hide what I need to say You deserved to go.... Evil like you Should never have even been born I need you to say Here I am Punish me When death becomes him I'll become alive The thorn in my side The one that I tried to hide from Won't ever go away Dear god don't hate me I tried to forget But he just hurt me Over and Over I asked him to go away To leave me alone I just need you to say Here I am Punish me When death becomes him I'll become alive The thorn in my side The one that I tried to hide from Won't ever go away You have no idea The pain that he caused me I can't pretend anymore That you didn't hurt me Here I Am Punish Me When death becomes him I'll become alive The thorn in my side The one that I tried to hide from Won't ever go away When death becomes him I'll become alive The thorn in my side The one that I tried to hide from Won't ever go away When death becomes him I'll become alive __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though Last edited by littleleena : 10-07-2005 at 02:32 AM.

08-18-2005, 07:39 AM	#17 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	Ok one more for now.... this is another newbie. i don't think i need to say what it is about...... Ok Here is is Learning To Cry The Anger you’d hidden from me Was suddenly free It was just a fight Then you snapped and sent me flying I hit the wall, I fall to floor With the sound of laughter ringing in my ears Now I’m lying on floor Feeling tired, I’m alone and all I hear is your breathing Your face appears, that evil smile Tears come to eyes, you stifle my cries, I await your final descent No one’s here to save me No one’s here to hear my cries I wonder why you chose me You took my soul and so much more I learned to cry that day. Leave me alone stop playing around Don’t pretend your not messing with my head I can see it in your smile Don’t pretend nothing’s happened Just stop smiling it’s just not fair I don’t deserve this? When you’re through I try to move you hold me down Smile at me, leaned to me you say Never tell a soul a secret this will stay I lie alone, crying for innocence lost No one’s here to save me No one’s here to hear my cries I wonder why you chose me You took my soul and so much more I learned to cry that day. The side of you I never saw coming Has trapped me here, hiding my secret torture I’ve lost my soul, my innocence, why not my life I’ll tell you know you’ll see, You won’t be the death of me No one was there to save me No one heard my cries I now know why you chose me I was weak at the time You robbed me of my soul My innocence lost I will not back down this time I learned to cry that day x2 I Learned to Cry That Day. Thanks.... please comment and if you have a negative comment then please just say it i like critizim and i won't take any of it to heart but instead I'll learn from it and hopefully improve .. Jus __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though Last edited by littleleena : 10-07-2005 at 02:34 AM.

08-18-2005, 05:19 AM	#16 (permalink)
Frozen Member of the Banned PERMA BANNED Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Athens, Greece Age: 20 Posts: 1,595 Points: 2,626.06 Bank: 8.53 Total Points: 2,634.59 Donate	There are some very good songs here!!! I really like your newer stuff!! Good work,keep up !!

09-12-2005, 08:15 AM	#18 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	If you want to see random writing they'll be on myspace. I'll post fully done ones here. Thanks __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though

09-12-2005, 11:03 AM	#19 (permalink)
Josi Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: near Kaiserslautern, Germany Age: 18 Posts: 68 Points: 352.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 352.00 Donate	a song of me Here's a song I wrote for a friend. The angel dressed in black People are happy, strong and nice, but who has made them so alive? Who has saved them from the evil, who has made their wishes true, who could make them so lucky? The angel dressed in black, always looking back and looking forward, helping everyone, unimportant who hard to help is. Everyone was sad, but now it isn’t bad, someone helped them made them strong, but no one knows who was the one. Always making people lucky, now I know who was the one. The angel dressed in black, always looking back and looking forward, helping everyone, unimportant who hard to help is. Ever since I know the world someone helped me out of evil powers and looked at me, now I know who was that one. Angel dressed in black thanks for all. The angel dressed in black, always looking back and looking forward, helping everyone, unimportant who hard to help is. By Josi

09-13-2005, 06:17 AM	#20 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	Wow that's good.... You are a good writer. it's horrible that sadness inspires people to write, i wish for a change i could write about Happy things you know like clowns....lol __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though

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