littleleena's stuff - Page 3 - EvBoard

Josi · 09-13-2005, 11:57 AM

Thank you.^^

When I'm sad I write more, but I can also write, whem I'm happy, but only in special moments. I can show you a song I only thought of the death and how it is, after you died:

Live to die

Say is the truth of the world dying, is it that?
Is it that what I’m living for?
Just to die?
That can’t be real world!!!

Is that real crying,
Real sadness
and real pain
I’m feeling now?
Why do we live?

Is that true?
It must be!
Live to die!

Feel more pain every day,
looking at your grave,
staring at heaven.
Are you there, or not?
When heaven exists,
you must be an angel.
But why so early?
The only thing you have to live was to die!
Yeah, just to die!

Can you hear my words now?
Thinking of that you might be?
Is it the truth, that the only thing to live is to die?
Is it that?
That’s what we are living for?
Just to die?
Die for what?!
To be an angel?
To be a demon?
To be that what you’ve become in your life?
To get the reward for it?

Isn’t it silly?
Die to live as someone other people think you are?
Die to live?
TO LIVE???

Yes that must be true!
You’ve died to live!

by Josi

If there's some mistake please say me, I'm not the best in English.^^°

**littleleena** · 09-26-2005, 07:08 AM

Josi, I really like your writing... it's teriffic, and your english is fine.. Keep writing

EDIT: A new writing called "It Ends With Death"

Do you even know how I feel at night?
Wishing to sleep thru til daylight
But waking in a worried mess
And never wanting venture in to dreams unknown

Horror and sadness of epic proportion
Death and Depression only can follow
Need to see outside the Dark
And Open my eyes to the wonders
That this life can bring.

But only you can save me
From the coldness now,
Your death will set me free
And light the fire agian inside of me

But death will not set me free
Not death alone at least.
To see you miserable, to see you cry
Just once before I die

This wish is what drives me
What keeps me carrying on
I know I'll break you one day
Just like you broke me
That day will come you know
The day I am set free
I pray to god that day
..... IS TODAY!!!

Eli · 09-26-2005, 01:06 PM

hey littleleena! i love your stuff. esp. learning to cry

its awesome
keep posting please!!

Josi · 09-27-2005, 02:13 PM

@ littleleena

That's wonderful!!!

Here's another one of me.^^

Thank you

For a long time every single day was a nightmare,
but now it’s all away.
My life has changed now,
my cry has finished somehow.
And my dreams started to become real.

‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life.
‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife,
that almost had finished my cry.

Every single day I have to smile.
In every single way there was a while,
I lied. It wasn’t so easy how you believed,
that all was over with my pain.
But now I’ve begin to live,
Now I give my happiness
To everyone who loves to live.

‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life.
‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife,
that almost had finished my cry.

This day in this way I want to thank you,
You’ve caught me up as I won’t get up.

‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life.
‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife,
that almost had finished my cry.

By Josi

**littleleena** · 10-04-2005, 03:24 AM

I Hate....

I hate that you know me so well
You tell by my word's i'm not okay
I know you wanna help but no one can
You see straight through my charade
My Mask is useless, I hate it i don't hate you

My Nothingness melts into coldness
The coldness resides inside me
I feel nothing anymore, it's all just pretend
Numb to the pain, Numb to the future

Trapped in myself, memories that will not fade
I smile on the outside, scream on the inside
Longing to die,to feel anything again..
I've taken to writing letters I know you'll never read
Can't explain it, the release I feel

My Nothingness melts into coldness
The coldness resides inside me
I feel nothing anymore, it's all just pretend
Numb to the pain, Numb to the future
(J. Mifsud)

Shawn8888 · 10-05-2005, 06:17 PM

I love Don't Save Me Now!! Poem. It has so much meaning in it. It flows just right. So dont give up and keep on writing your poems.

Jane · 10-05-2005, 11:37 PM

Your songs are very powerful, and I like the structure you've decided to use for them all. However, I wanted to make one comment... it seems that you make a few confusions with contractions/possessives.

A lot of the time (nearly all) when you say "your" you really should be using "you're" as in "you are" If you're unsure of whether or not to use the contraction or the possessive... try it as a contraction first and separate it to see if it sounds right. Here's an example:

"Your only a whisper away" Make this into a contraction first "You're only a whisper away" and then separate/expand the contraction "You are only a whisper away"... in this case "You are" makes sense, so you'd want to use "you're" instead of "your" which shows possession.

This same rule can be applied to the possessive "its"... I hope that helped. I really like the pace you have in a lot of your songs, and the choruses are especially strong. Keep up the good work, and keep posting!

EDIT: Also, to Josi... might I suggest creating a "Your Stuff" thread of your own to post all of the work that's yours? That way you can also get feedback, and develop your own group of admirers ~.^

End.

**littleleena** · 10-06-2005, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agentpudge

Your songs are very powerful, and I like the structure you've decided to use for them all. However, I wanted to make one comment... it seems that you make a few confusions with contractions/possessives.

A lot of the time (nearly all) when you say "your" you really should be using "you're" as in "you are" If you're unsure of whether or not to use the contraction or the possessive... try it as a contraction first and separate it to see if it sounds right. Here's an example:

"Your only a whisper away" Make this into a contraction first "You're only a whisper away" and then separate/expand the contraction "You are only a whisper away"... in this case "You are" makes sense, so you'd want to use "you're" instead of "your" which shows possession.

This same rule can be applied to the possessive "its"... I hope that helped. I really like the pace you have in a lot of your songs, and the choruses are especially strong. Keep up the good work, and keep posting!

EDIT: Also, to Josi... might I suggest creating a "Your Stuff" thread of your own to post all of the work that's yours? That way you can also get feedback, and develop your own group of admirers ~.^

End.

Yeah I do that alot I don't know why I just do it but thanks I don't even realise I'm doing it anymore.. but thanks I will fix them up....

Keep Commenting guys coz i love to read them Oh Yeah i am buying a keyboard so soon hopefully i'll be able to get some songs to music....

Thanks
Jus

Josi · 10-07-2005, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleleena

Yeah i do that alot i don't know why i just do it but thanks i don;t even realise i'm doing it anymore.. but thanks i will fix them up....

Keep Commenting guys coz i love to read them Oh Yeah i am buying a keyboard so soon hopefully i'll be able to get some songs to music....

Thanks
Jus

Do this, you're great!

martinbq · 10-07-2005, 07:53 PM

very good poems, you write very well, I congratulate to you

09-13-2005, 11:57 AM	#21 (permalink)
Josi Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: near Kaiserslautern, Germany Age: 18 Posts: 68 Points: 352.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 352.00 Donate	Thank you.^^ When I'm sad I write more, but I can also write, whem I'm happy, but only in special moments. I can show you a song I only thought of the death and how it is, after you died: Live to die Say is the truth of the world dying, is it that? Is it that what I’m living for? Just to die? That can’t be real world!!! Is that real crying, Real sadness and real pain I’m feeling now? Why do we live? Is that true? It must be! Live to die! Feel more pain every day, looking at your grave, staring at heaven. Are you there, or not? When heaven exists, you must be an angel. But why so early? The only thing you have to live was to die! Yeah, just to die! Can you hear my words now? Thinking of that you might be? Is it the truth, that the only thing to live is to die? Is it that? That’s what we are living for? Just to die? Die for what?! To be an angel? To be a demon? To be that what you’ve become in your life? To get the reward for it? Isn’t it silly? Die to live as someone other people think you are? Die to live? TO LIVE??? Yes that must be true! You’ve died to live! by Josi If there's some mistake please say me, I'm not the best in English.^^° Last edited by Josi : 09-14-2005 at 10:53 AM.

09-26-2005, 07:08 AM	#22 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	Josi, I really like your writing... it's teriffic, and your english is fine.. Keep writing EDIT: A new writing called "It Ends With Death" Do you even know how I feel at night? Wishing to sleep thru til daylight But waking in a worried mess And never wanting venture in to dreams unknown Horror and sadness of epic proportion Death and Depression only can follow Need to see outside the Dark And Open my eyes to the wonders That this life can bring. But only you can save me From the coldness now, Your death will set me free And light the fire agian inside of me But death will not set me free Not death alone at least. To see you miserable, to see you cry Just once before I die This wish is what drives me What keeps me carrying on I know I'll break you one day Just like you broke me That day will come you know The day I am set free I pray to god that day ..... IS TODAY!!! __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though Last edited by littleleena : 10-07-2005 at 02:38 AM. Reason: Added A song

09-27-2005, 02:13 PM	#24 (permalink)
Josi Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: near Kaiserslautern, Germany Age: 18 Posts: 68 Points: 352.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 352.00 Donate	a new one.^^ @ littleleena That's wonderful!!! Here's another one of me.^^ Thank you For a long time every single day was a nightmare, but now it’s all away. My life has changed now, my cry has finished somehow. And my dreams started to become real. ‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life. ‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife, that almost had finished my cry. Every single day I have to smile. In every single way there was a while, I lied. It wasn’t so easy how you believed, that all was over with my pain. But now I’ve begin to live, Now I give my happiness To everyone who loves to live. ‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life. ‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife, that almost had finished my cry. This day in this way I want to thank you, You’ve caught me up as I won’t get up. ‘Cause you showed me how I can change my life. ‘Cause you’ve took me up and I forgot the knife, that almost had finished my cry. By Josi

10-04-2005, 03:24 AM	#25 (permalink)
littleleena is gonna rockout @ EV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Aussie Land Age: 22 Posts: 680 Points: 21,461.69 Bank: 188,353.02 Total Points: 209,814.71 Donate	I Hate.... I hate that you know me so well You tell by my word's i'm not okay I know you wanna help but no one can You see straight through my charade My Mask is useless, I hate it i don't hate you My Nothingness melts into coldness The coldness resides inside me I feel nothing anymore, it's all just pretend Numb to the pain, Numb to the future Trapped in myself, memories that will not fade I smile on the outside, scream on the inside Longing to die,to feel anything again.. I've taken to writing letters I know you'll never read Can't explain it, the release I feel My Nothingness melts into coldness The coldness resides inside me I feel nothing anymore, it's all just pretend Numb to the pain, Numb to the future (J. Mifsud) __________________ (\__/) This is Bunny FOO FOO. Copy Him into (O.o ) your signature to help him (> < ) on his way to world domination. avatar made by brendan not me thanks for the reps though Last edited by littleleena : 10-07-2005 at 02:40 AM.

10-05-2005, 06:17 PM	#26 (permalink)
Shawn8888 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: I cant remember Age: 27 Posts: 160 Points: 5,368.71 Bank: 1,999.89 Total Points: 7,368.60 Donate	I love Don't Save Me Now!! Poem. It has so much meaning in it. It flows just right. So dont give up and keep on writing your poems. __________________ My old home I use to live in a neighber jesse has been traumatized since the buttoch landings. He has been probed so many times in the butt he gave birth in the front lawn. Listen to the song born to be down its him LOL. Its A invasion of the buttochsThere so twisted they shape the mother ship like oneMy Stuff

09-26-2005, 01:06 PM	#23 (permalink)
Eli Fledgling Post Monkey Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Barcelona, Spain Age: 16 Posts: 1,195 Points: 1,388.68 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,388.68 Donate	hey littleleena! i love your stuff. esp. learning to cry its awesome keep posting please!!

10-05-2005, 11:37 PM	#27 (permalink)
Jane seimei no kyozetsu Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 2,338 Points: 3.29 Bank: 2,017.17 Total Points: 2,020.46 Donate	Your songs are very powerful, and I like the structure you've decided to use for them all. However, I wanted to make one comment... it seems that you make a few confusions with contractions/possessives. A lot of the time (nearly all) when you say "your" you really should be using "you're" as in "you are" If you're unsure of whether or not to use the contraction or the possessive... try it as a contraction first and separate it to see if it sounds right. Here's an example: "Your only a whisper away" Make this into a contraction first "You're only a whisper away" and then separate/expand the contraction "You are only a whisper away"... in this case "You are" makes sense, so you'd want to use "you're" instead of "your" which shows possession. This same rule can be applied to the possessive "its"... I hope that helped. I really like the pace you have in a lot of your songs, and the choruses are especially strong. Keep up the good work, and keep posting! EDIT: Also, to Josi... might I suggest creating a "Your Stuff" thread of your own to post all of the work that's yours? That way you can also get feedback, and develop your own group of admirers ~.^ End. __________________ Jane Last edited by Jane : 10-05-2005 at 11:40 PM.

10-07-2005, 07:53 PM	#30 (permalink)
martinbq Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: peru Age: 18 Posts: 445 Points: 1,343.01 Bank: 1,684.05 Total Points: 3,027.05 Donate	very good poems, you write very well, I congratulate to you __________________ Y a pesar de todo Me pregunto qué no di, Y al vivir me oculto Mis defectos para poder dormir.

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