Lullabies from a lost soul - EvBoard

Jaded_Whisper · 11-03-2005, 06:49 PM

please tell me what you think! i dont think its very good but thats just my opinion. im thinking about chaning some things but yea its called angels

verse 1:
Lost in my own tears
Death comes at a price
Your screaming at me oh I fear
Leave me here to die

chorus: angels sing and demons cry
falling towards the earth
never knowing how or why.
oh please whisper your love

verse 2:
fallen spirits bid my love
tear my heart and drink my blood
for you are the one i used to hold
for you are the one i used to love

-chorus-

verse 3:
whisper to me slowly answer me willingly
i will always cry for your absence
i will always love you...hello and goodbye.

Jaded_Whisper · 11-06-2005, 06:24 PM

some poems I wrote:
screaming
lying on the floor
calling out to somebody
i'm dying right here
theres blood flowing from my soul
I dont know what to do
i pressed to hard
help me i cry
my mind is being twisted
my body is growing pale and cold
i open my eyes one last time
i see your face
i whisper slowly im sorry
================
Wallowing in the depts
of everything around me
i dont feel I dont see
your blind to all i hurt
im wounded, dead inside
Happyness is never wiht me
i need you to fix it
my heart and soul are broken
not much time left
the darkness is coming
soon i will be gone..
an you wont even notice
===========
the black rose
so sweet and elegent
laying in my hand
dripping tears
from my eys
it holds my soul and spirit
for it ook them
when I left
The black rose
that knows about my whole life
and all my regrets and awful mistakes.
as it lays in my hand
dripping wet from my tears
my black rose heals me
and i let it wither away in my heart.

Ash-MK · 11-17-2005, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaded_Whisper

please tell me what you think! i dont think its very good but thats just my opinion. im thinking about chaning some things but yea its called angels

verse 1:
Lost inm y own tears
Death comes at a price
Your screaming at me oh I fear
Leave me here to die

chorus: angels sing and demons cry
falling towards the earth
never knowing how or why.
oh please whisper your love

verse 2:
fallen spirits bid my love
tear my heart and drink my blood
for you are the one i used to hold
for you are the one i used to love

-chorus-

verse 3:
whisper to me slowly ans me willingly
i will always cry for your absence
i will always love you...hello and goodbye.

i love it. it is very well writen

mvk_Messiah · 11-17-2005, 01:50 PM

Very good song you should write some more cos that was really brillant.

Jaded_Whisper · 11-17-2005, 06:14 PM

oh thank you guys. im working on some new songs also. I've been jotting down my thoughts putting it all together so yea. I'm also hoping to record one of them some day and put that on here. So keep checking for more stuff!

Jaded_Whisper · 11-19-2005, 10:48 PM

She crys herself to sleep
the pain burns in her eyes
she gave you her soul to keep
and you threw it all away

Chorus:
Hold my hand
Feel my Heart
Realize what you've missed from the start

2nd verse:
you were everything to her
the sun that lit her world
your love was only a dream
always to good to be true

-------------------------------------
its kinda short but oh well

Ash-MK · 11-19-2005, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaded_Whisper

She crys herself to sleep
the pain burns in her eyes
she gave you her sould to keep
and you threw it all away

Chorus:
Hold my hand
Feel my Heart
Realize what you've missed from the start

2nd verse:
you were everything to her
the sun that lit her world
your love was only a dream
always to good to be true

-------------------------------------
its kinda short but oh well

wow its really good i love it

Apryl · 11-20-2005, 06:05 PM

Really good. Especially for your age. You should try and use more verbs... Maybe look in a thesaurus to find different words.

I love this part:

Quote:

The black rose
that knows about my whole life
and all my regrets and awful mistakes.
as it lays in my hand
dripping wet from my tears
my black rose heals me
and i let it wither away in my heart.

Jaded_Whisper · 11-21-2005, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by April

Really good. Especially for your age. You should try and use more verbs... Maybe look in a thesaurus to find different words.

I love this part:

thanks! Yea i know I hate using the same words over and over. I dont think it sounds good when you use the same words. I shall look in a theasurus sometime. Oh yes. New song coming soon. Called rain!

Jaded_Whisper · 11-25-2005, 01:06 PM

ok you guys. I have 3 new songs to add but I wanted to know if you guys want them all at once or add each gradually cuz lolz I think it would be overwelming to read all 3 at once.

11-03-2005, 06:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jaded_Whisper Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Minnesota Duhh Age: 17 Posts: 848 Points: 1,765.48 Bank: 10,971.39 Total Points: 12,736.87 Donate	Lullabies from a lost soul please tell me what you think! i dont think its very good but thats just my opinion. im thinking about chaning some things but yea its called angels verse 1: Lost in my own tears Death comes at a price Your screaming at me oh I fear Leave me here to die chorus: angels sing and demons cry falling towards the earth never knowing how or why. oh please whisper your love verse 2: fallen spirits bid my love tear my heart and drink my blood for you are the one i used to hold for you are the one i used to love -chorus- verse 3: whisper to me slowly answer me willingly i will always cry for your absence i will always love you...hello and goodbye. Last edited by Jaded_Whisper : 11-19-2005 at 11:04 PM.

11-06-2005, 06:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jaded_Whisper Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Minnesota Duhh Age: 17 Posts: 848 Points: 1,765.48 Bank: 10,971.39 Total Points: 12,736.87 Donate	Poems some poems I wrote: screaming lying on the floor calling out to somebody i'm dying right here theres blood flowing from my soul I dont know what to do i pressed to hard help me i cry my mind is being twisted my body is growing pale and cold i open my eyes one last time i see your face i whisper slowly im sorry ================ Wallowing in the depts of everything around me i dont feel I dont see your blind to all i hurt im wounded, dead inside Happyness is never wiht me i need you to fix it my heart and soul are broken not much time left the darkness is coming soon i will be gone.. an you wont even notice =========== the black rose so sweet and elegent laying in my hand dripping tears from my eys it holds my soul and spirit for it ook them when I left The black rose that knows about my whole life and all my regrets and awful mistakes. as it lays in my hand dripping wet from my tears my black rose heals me and i let it wither away in my heart.

11-19-2005, 10:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jaded_Whisper Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Minnesota Duhh Age: 17 Posts: 848 Points: 1,765.48 Bank: 10,971.39 Total Points: 12,736.87 Donate	Hold my Hand She crys herself to sleep the pain burns in her eyes she gave you her soul to keep and you threw it all away Chorus: Hold my hand Feel my Heart Realize what you've missed from the start 2nd verse: you were everything to her the sun that lit her world your love was only a dream always to good to be true ------------------------------------- its kinda short but oh well Last edited by Jaded_Whisper : 11-19-2005 at 10:58 PM.

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11-17-2005, 01:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
mvk_Messiah n00blet Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ipswich, UK. Age: 24 Posts: 14 Points: 101.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 101.00 Donate	Very good song you should write some more cos that was really brillant.

11-17-2005, 06:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
Jaded_Whisper Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Minnesota Duhh Age: 17 Posts: 848 Points: 1,765.48 Bank: 10,971.39 Total Points: 12,736.87 Donate	oh thank you guys. im working on some new songs also. I've been jotting down my thoughts putting it all together so yea. I'm also hoping to record one of them some day and put that on here. So keep checking for more stuff!

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