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#11 (permalink) |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Living under a tree with Heather in the Boston Common
Age: 18
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*sits in silence gazing at screen*
You nearly made me cry! *uber hugs* Some of the best people die before their time, and while it's cruel, it immortalizes them. But it still sucks for everyone left behind. *sits in more silence* You're making me want to write something. I came up with an idea and everything last night. You little inspirer, you.
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![]() These penguins own your life. ![]() PURPLE PARROTS
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#12 (permalink) | |
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Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: London, baby!
Age: 19
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Never hit a man with glasses, use a baseball bat.__________________________________ |
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#13 (permalink) | |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago
Age: 18
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*hugs the two of you* Thanks. ^_^
I wrote this one sometime last week. I can't remember what exactly was going through my mind at the time but this is the end product. There is No Excuse Ring around the rosie A pocket full of posie Ashes, ashes We all fall down! Look back to the simple songs you sang During the innocent times you played Children never realize these things Never even wonder what they may mean By the time you age into your fathers Will you remember the singing? Teach blindly to the children These ancient songs of subliminal knowledge Tradition, tradition! These are childhood games! How could they be evil in any way? We grew up with them We were raised on what they taught Times may change Leaves may fall Why should that affect us at all? Fearing a death that no longer threatens Is this what you want to raise your children on? Tradition! Tradition! Do you still think you’re grown? Can’t make your own rules Rely on the knowledge from a place before time They couldn’t explain what they did not know Wake up you’re living a thousand years ago! Tradition, tradition! These are childhood games! How could they be evil in any way? We grew up with them We were raised on what they taught Times may change Leaves may fall Why should that affect us at all? Praise the golden idols Who stood for sacrifice If you see the world like barbarians You should mirror their lives Is hand in hand really so bad? Is making your own discoveries, A practice clad in black? Tradition, tradition! These are childhood games! How could they be evil in any way? We grew up with them We were raised on what they taught Times may change Leaves may fall Why should that affect us at all?
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#14 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
![]() Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Deep ina hearta Texas
Age: 19
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Wow! The Jack and Jill one is amazing! *shudders*
The ones that I see going best into a song are Part 1 from the first post, and Room 616. Are you a singer? Would you mind me putting music to any of them? Because I can definitely see a direction they're going in. Reading them made me want to write music for it. I'm impressed. You're very talented. ![]()
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Check out my music! ![]() |
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#15 (permalink) | ||
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago
Age: 18
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I'm glad to see so many people having that reaction to it. I'm trying to write more songs in that style since I have yet to recieve negative feedback on it.
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Wow, thank you. ^_^
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#16 (permalink) |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Living under a tree with Heather in the Boston Common
Age: 18
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I don't think I've ever paid quite this much attention to stuff any of my friends wrote. I love the new one...lol- ring around the rosies = the bubonic plague.
I friggin love this stuff....you're just awesome. ![]() I demand vocals. I DEMAND THEM!
__________________
![]() These penguins own your life. ![]() PURPLE PARROTS
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#17 (permalink) | |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago
Age: 18
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I have two songs for you this time!
I wrote this one about two weeks ago. I'm going through a Nightwish phase and after listening to songs like "Romanticide" over and over again this song popped into my head. A Limbo Masquerade Mark your way through the darkened woods The Halloween night calls We are the strangers out of the day Burdened to take part in the midnight ballet A whisper nears a girl departs Dressed in red she carries on Follow the ghostly demon child To the blinding lights in the clearing of the spirits of the night Sirens call you to the stage A girl in blood relieves your pain Choose your partner on the floor Dance till the daylight is no more Don’t dare remove the shroud of this masquerade Lest their sacrifice can be seen Dream a flowing silver dream Whirl and twirl in a shimmering gleam The girl in the mask smiles and waves Bloody ghosts never looked so pretty Evil eyes behind a mask Reveal a fear that this won’t last The night is young, the spirits bright Grab your partner hold them tight The time is now dance or die Sirens call you to the stage A girl in blood relieves your pain Choose your partner on the floor Dance till the daylight is no more Don’t dare remove the shroud of this masquerade Lest their sacrifice can be seen See the sun rise through the mist The time has come for the life you miss You cannot leave, you cannot scream This is the first in a never-ending dream The girl in red shows the pain All the sins you’ve lost and lies you gained Remove the mask, clear away the bangs Reveal the tool of the reaper’s charade Sirens call you to the stage A girl in blood relieves your pain Choose your partner on the floor Dance till the daylight is no more Don’t dare remove the shroud of this masquerade Lest their sacrifice can be seen This one was written last night. I was drawing a sketch when this song idea just popped into my head (yep, that happens a lot). This is another more Dresden Dolls-esque song. A Little Bit Less Than Crazy One leap short of suicide She stands on the edge of her mind Decipher which voice is real One more pill could make her okay Last her through another day Whoops, there she goes again Banging nails into her head Oh what should we do? Oh what will we do? She’s such a nuisance Whenever she looses it Which is all the time One step short of innocence Take a shot, hit and miss Will twice a week be okay? Nails are scratching on the walls Pick up the phone, the doctor calls Anything to make her stay A little bit less than crazy Drastic measures, electrify To quell the pain, do or die At least let her explain Why should we? We can proclaim She’s official, mentally insane What secrets could she have to hide? In that twisted little mind? Hell if I’ll give it a try I’m just a high school counselor that’s why One step short of innocence Take a shot, hit and miss Will twice a week be okay? Nails are scratching on the walls Pick up the phone, the doctor calls Anything to make her stay A little bit less than crazy Who knows, maybe I’ll be okay If I can have a little say To someone who will listen? Demons inside my head Everything that I dread Just a ploy to cover up the real noise So just give me the meds We’ll talk and I’ll work ahead Maybe someday I’ll finally be Controllable, let’s wait and see One step short of innocence Take a shot, hit and miss Will twice a week be okay? Nails are scratching on the walls Pick up the phone, the doctor calls Anything to make her stay A little bit less than crazy
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#18 (permalink) |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Living under a tree with Heather in the Boston Common
Age: 18
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OOOOOOOOOOOH @ the first one. You're good with imagery. And the Halloweenness pwns. \m/
Like a mix between a deathday party and the masquerade in POTO. If that sentence made any sense. I like the second one too, but the first one gives a stronger effect, I think.
__________________
![]() These penguins own your life. ![]() PURPLE PARROTS
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#19 (permalink) | |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago
Age: 18
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Tree of Hearts
If life were only so simple as to depend on a light in the sky We’d stay up night to night for our chance to wish away a lie A quick word a flash and problem solved That would be paradise Childhood fantasies tend to carry so much joy Until you realize that without work there cannot be life Hearts don’t grow on trees my dear If they did we wouldn’t cry Catch a falling star and wish upon it Doesn’t change a damn thing in your life You have a dream; you’ll do anything to make it real That’s the reason why there are bad people A shining light can always Corrupt the brightest smiles Sad but true I will not lie Beware your means to the end You’ll only end up justifying the dead Hearts don’t grow on trees my dear If they did we wouldn’t cry Catch a falling star and wish upon it Doesn’t change a damn thing in your life Melancholy is not a desire But without it would you know how to walk the wire? To tell the difference between the good And where the evil doers tread? Black and white, Ying and yang All three concepts are the same Can you live with it? Can you try? What do you think you’ve been doing your whole life? Hearts don’t grow on trees my dear If they did we wouldn’t cry Catch a falling star and wish upon it Doesn’t change a damn thing in your life Hearts don’t grow on trees my dear If they did we wouldn’t cry Catch a falling star and wish upon it Doesn’t change a damn thing in your life
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#20 (permalink) |
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Fledgling Post Monkey
![]() Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Living under a tree with Heather in the Boston Common
Age: 18
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Ah, uplifting as always.
![]() Is that what you've been working on lately? I like how the first two rhyme in the verses. You're getting really good with structure. And tone. ![]() There's a clear message. I think that if it was a normal poem the repetition of the chorus would be a little much, but in a lyrical sense, it works great to reinforce the idea.
__________________
![]() These penguins own your life. ![]() PURPLE PARROTS
Last edited by Draconian~Nymph : 11-22-2006 at 06:59 PM. |
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